I'm 15 and pregnant. The father is only 13. My mother and his mother want us to give the baby up for adoption. My mother saids that she does not want the baby in her home. I intentionally got pregnant because I wanted a baby. Now she doesn't want me to keep it. Can she make me give it up or will the law force her to let us stay in her home.

raggablue

i am not trying to start any battles, just gain knowledge. carnegie said 'you can never win an arguement'
i dont think that the perfectly natural plesures of sex should be restricted to those with enough MONEY to raise a child with two cars and cable, sex (for fun) should be confined to those mature enough to practice safe sex

rpg219

Not here....they have just upped the dial up to 24.95 a month....you can still find a select few for $10-15 per month. DSL is roughly $38 per month. It depends on how far in the country or where in the city you live. (Just so you aren't in the dark here) That is why it is such a big deal with welfare. You can have things that aren't needed, but you can't pay for your own mistakes/mishaps/children (whatever the case may be). I can do some major grocery shopping with 40 bucks.

EDIT: The problem is....she didn't protect herself....so there should be a limit on age of responsibilty.

EDIT AGAIN::::: Someone should really balance Synnen out....reddies should not have been given because you disagree....read the rules please (Synn...I would, but I love ya to much it says, lol)

raggablue

there is a legal age of concent

rpg219

Legal age of consent has nothing to do with this. That means she is of age to know the difference in yes and no, but whether she listens to her parents advise as far as right and wrong...that is another story. Please tell me you don't really think 15 or 17 is okay to be popping out babies. Please! That is just setting both kids up for future disappointments (baby and mother are the kids). What raise each other??

raggablue

im not saying its ideal but these people are not copletely useless, kids as young as 12 have had plain bad luck an ended up running a family of 4, extreme case i know but it puts thing in perspective. kids that have been pulled through the system, jumping from one insecure foster home to the next have managed to raise children in a stable to become the perfect statistic. its hard but it can be done

brown_eyes_3546

i appoligize to synne for doing that twice. i didnt realize that i had disagreed with her earlier. there are so many posts i didnt go back to check. i try not to do that twice to someone.

anyway. welfare and medicaid are different. me and my bf pay $1200 plus a month in rent and other things. and i did try to protect myself. i am having a birth control baby. my doc found the problem with my bc and it has been noted for future refrences so it will work next time. and no i dont feel guilty for being on medicaid. oh and synn or whoever it was talking about government money for a house at 30 yea they do that too. if you find the right web site you can find grants for first time home buyers and education and just paying bills and you dont have to be broke to get them you have to have never used any other government programs in the US. so yes if you do your homework you can go to college for free or get a down payment on your home and many other things like that!

and i could cover my medical expenses but it is there and if i dont use it someone else will so why not me. and yes my bf does pay 600 every paycheck. he makes $24 an hour and works at least 48 hours a week. he makes time and a half for all overtime and that gets taxed extra. we live together and plan on getting married but my parents wont sign for it and i dont feel like going through the hassel of getting emancipation papers filed even though i am emancipated i have yet to get the paper work done. (in my state emancipation is automatic when a student graduates) and i havnt finished school i still have two years left to get my bachelors.

i know i am not the average but i dont feel it is right to judge everyone by the statistics. each person is different and as i said if there is a will there is a way. it is not fair to any teenager that has good intentions to be told by everyone that she is a burdon on society bc it is not always the case and i agree it should put out there as a possible outcome but the other options need to be put out there also so that a young girl doesnt feel trapped. there are many many options just in the venue of adoption and many more ranging from abortion to keeping it and raising it herself. but if all that is presented to her is adoption and the fear of being put in jail a teen especially a pregnant one could end up killing herself or the baby. to avoid getting into trouble. none of us know this girl personally so noone can say she would or wouldnt. the decision is hers to make and all we can do is give advice we need not attack her for any reason im sure her mother has done this already. im sure the mother has told her how irresponsible and immature or w.e other words anyone could or want to use to explain her actions. no matter how bad her decisions were she needs advice and comfort not to be chastized for something that she cannot take back.

brown_eyes_3546

i never said i couldnt afford my doctor bills for the baby and even if i couldnt i have some pretty good reasons for not being able to that have nothing to do with my age or income. but that has nothing to do with this so i will open another thread if you wish to explore that with me. maybe some people will have the alknowing answers to that delima.

rpg219

But that is the point that is trying to be made.....if you can afford, why not leave that money to pay for someone else's education (government money). If your bf makes that much....you should easily be able to make payments and pay on your own (just my opinion here).

There is a big difference in being 15 with no education (obvious from posts) and being a little ahead of the game (as you are). Not saying that you shouldn't have waited, because I believe you should have (mistakes happen...mine did at almost 30, although the best mistake of my life...I wouldn't have made it as far as I have with a baby on my hip at 15). My point in all of this, at that age you haven't fully grown and experienced life yourself...why would you want to give that up to raise a child or have sex period? (When I use the word you...I don't necessarily mean YOU...I mean any girl under-aged.)

There are no all-knowing people here on earth....but we do the best we can...maybe we will just come and check it out....as you see you'll get our opinions

raggablue

damn ill learn one day to only quote a small part rather than the whole thing. anyway i tottally agree with you about a baby holding you back if you have one too early career wise but you will advance emotionaly but ......if you wait too long you run the risk of ruining your childs life by not being sharp enough not being apt for its requirements

brown_eyes_3546

i didnt intentionally get pregnant but i was on bc so i did the best i could.i dont have a problem with anyones oppinion i just get frustrated with people "attacking" others oppinion. attacking is not the word but it is 7 am here and i havnt been to bed <see my post days and night smixed up> and i cnat think of a proper word. i would have waited if it were up to me but i dont regret it bc i think it will be the best thing that has happened to me. I owe my hospital 70,000 for surgeries from a drink driving accident. I was a victim not the drunk one. that is why we chose to get on medicaid. i could do it all but it would be overwhelming and the system is abused so much that at least i am not using the medicaid to abort like so many girls at least around here do.

i understand that having an education is different and people tend to think im an idiot bc i have had very different experiences than the normal so i know with determination things are always possible so i give people the benifit of the doubt bc without support noone has the confidence to try.

it is my understanding that so much money is set aside for each program so if it doesnt get used in one department it doesnt transfer to the others it is just left there for the next year but i am not a government accountant so i cant be sure. it is my experience from accounting classes that excess money doesnt typically change expense accounts? like i said im not sure government may be different.

i am not sure where to start a thread on that though. i have alot of ?'s with it but they are all over and i need a lawyer to answer them. i will come back and tell you.