I'm 15 and pregnant. The father is only 13. My mother and his mother want us to give the baby up for adoption. My mother saids that she does not want the baby in her home. I intentionally got pregnant because I wanted a baby. Now she doesn't want me to keep it. Can she make me give it up or will the law force her to let us stay in her home.

raggablue

i think you showed em there brown_eyes

brown_eyes_3546

wasnt trying to show them anything just want people to realize that everything is not always black and white like they think it is. not everyone has great parents or great situations but you can still work through it if you know what you want and are dead set on acheiving it!

raggablue

i made a thread thingy just for that 2not everyone......great situations"

Synnen

Well, honey--you're an exception to the rule, and NOT what generally happens. She became a stipper so you didn't go without? Well, we just went without. Thank heavens for living near a large family, and living in a small town so that a large garden plot was allowed. I worked as a kid--I needed to so that we could EAT. There was no fun until chores were done, and chores consisted of not dishes and dusting, but weeding and watering and planting and picking. I spent more time in that garden than I did anything else. And we didn't HAVE a TV, or cable, or 2 cars, or bikes--any of that--until I was 10 years old.

As far as thinking you DESERVE the money you get---HA!!

I pay that much in, too. I don't get anything back. And you SHOULD be married to get your significant other's health benefits--that's one of the perks of marriage, honey. Why SHOULD insurance companies cover someone who isn't legally related? Get real!

By your reasoning, my infertility treatments should ALSO be covered by welfare--I mean, I pay all that money IN, and I can afford to raise a child--wouldn't I be a better mom than someone who wasn't planning on a child? I have insurance, I have a husband (who I've been with for almost 12 years), I have a steady income! I don't need Welfare!! I just can't afford the beginning part--I mean, who can shell out $20-$30k all at once for a baby? Since we subsidize teen pregnancies by at LEAST that much, in the first several years of that baby's life--with medical, and food, and checkups, and strollers, and subsidized housing--shouldn't EVERYONE get a chance at $20k for something they want? I mean, they put that much INTO it! How about every 18 year old gets free college, as long as they didn't use their money for a pregnancy?? Or if you choose not to do that, AND you didn't have kids the government had to help with--how about the down payment on a house at 30? Get real! Government money isn't DESERVED just because you put money IN. As far as your point about "anyone can abuse the system" --yeah. I know. That's why I've spent the last several years pushing for the system to be eliminated entirely. If people had to choose between cable and feeding their kids, or NOT HAVING SEX until they could afford kids--because face it--who wants to watch their kid starve? --then I bet there would be a lot more people actually taking responsibility for their actions. NOT that raising your kid isn't taking responsibility--but having sex when you couldn't afford the kid wasn't. There would be a HUGE upsurge of family values--because people would actually HAVE to fall back on their families; there would be no one else. People would ALSO join churches in droves--because a church is a place you can go for emotional, spiritual, and physical help.

Yes, you had a rough life. I'm sorry for it. But--amazingly--there IS one statistic you lived up to: Most children of teen pregnancies live to beome a teen parent themselves. You want that for YOUR kid?

As far as the original poster goes--she hasn't been back to the site since December 9th. All posts in this thread at this point are discussion in hopes of preventing someone else posting with the same problem. She never even SAW your advice.

rpg219

I don't agree with you on most of your points brown-eyes. Number one...you are very defensive about "girls" being on welfare, is that because you feel guilt of being on it? Just because your bf and parents pay taxes doesn't mean it should be in your viewpoint that it is okay to rush out and let someone else pay for that baby you are pregnant with and can not afford. Do not come back and tell me that you can, or you wouldn't be on that welfare..now would you?

Personally, I was taught to keep my legs closed and together. I also paid attention to that advise. I didn't have sex until I was responsible enough to deal with the consequences on my own (without the help of the government).

I do understand that it is there for a reason...but look at the statistics (as a mature Synnen explained)....most people on it are under-educated or teens that are pregnant/have 50 million kids.

So tell me again why you think because I had the sense to listen and you didn't.....why do I have to pay for your child to be born?? Oh you have paid taxes, well good....pay for your baby too.

Oh that great education you have?? Doesn't seem to me that you have used it all that much. 17... pregnant.... and can't afford it. (Going by your words here, have not made up my own).

I will give you that it is not always black and white, however...it is in this situation. The girl is 15 and people like yourself try to make her feel as if she has made no mistake at all.


Oh, by the way..... Your bf can in no way pay $600 a month just in taxes or ya'll would be able to have this child without having to be on welfare!!!!!

raggablue

oh honey, you poor thing. you didn't get 2 cars and cable tv until you were 10?!? i think the things brown eyes meant were not these LUXURIES you speak of, but the BARE NECCESITIES ie food, clothes and a roof over her head. mothers dont become strippers so their children can watch an extra 200 channels on their widescreens.
as far as hard work is concered weeding watering planting and picking are things retired people consider the joys of a RELAXED hobby. i grew up on a farm where iron-age machinery was considered modern, 10hour working days were a walk in the park and two frequecys on one fm radio was sate of the art

raggablue

i dont think i fully understand what you mean when you say you were "taught to keep my legs closed" are you implying that Brown-eyes is a promiscuous lady or slut, im not sure if you have taken time to read the other threads but brown_eyes has not had much luck with men and little of it was her fault.
as for constantly patronising her and saying she is imature, brown eyes has engaged in this,now, discussion in a more mature and adult way than many of you, judging by the copious amount of exclamation marks, wich we all know is code for 'im screaming abuse at a computor screen'

Synnen

Oh, please.

I wasn't talking about just her, and I would hope that would be obvious. I live in a building with Section 8 housing (no--not me. But the building DOES have it). I also have a friend who was a stripper to feed her kid when she was a teen. I believe that far more people on Welfare have amenities like cable and a car for each parent than those who never buckle to take it.

Yeah--food on the table, electricity, running water, and a roof over my head were what my parents were concerned with. I mentioned the whole idea to show you that people on Welfare today aren't exactly giving up anything before they take that check. I mean--omg--INTERNET ACCESS and a COMPUTER!! that's like a month worth of food right there!

Look--the original point of this is that some girls (yes, GIRLS) can make it work as a teen mom, with help from their families. Most can't. Most DEPEND on the welfare system, and I don't think that's right. And the attitude of Browneyes that it's OKAY that they get the money because they put so much IN--well, that's what makes me even madder. I put money in too--as do millions of other tax payers. I'd rather pay for someone to go to college with those tax dollars than pay for a kid that no one planned for or could afford--a kid that will statistically go on and do the EXACT SAME THING.

rpg219

No....for your info "!!!!!" would mean...I am trying to get my point across. (If you would like proofreading critics..we can move to your typing as well)

I was taught to keep my legs closed...means exactly what it says.....don't open them until you can afford the consequences without help.....by the way that would include the government (by reading her other posts she states that she is giving birth to this child with NO help.)

Please, being a newbie here, the first thing you need to learn is to not put words in a poster's mouth. I never once said she was any less of a person for having sex....I just imply that you shouldn't have sex before you can pay your way.

I was not patronizing her...just telling the fact here. Please show me where I called her immature. I have read and reread my post, and gosh...I just can't find that part!!!!!!!!!! (Did you get my point there?)

It looks to me like you are trying to start a lot of unnecessary battles here....please stop.

raggablue

im not in the US so you can throw as many stats as you like at me you'll only be boosting your own ego rather than educating me but i think someones telling porkies because you can get broadband for as little as $20 to my knowledge so your either being conned by your service provide or your being conned by your greengrocer