At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them
answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in
answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you
will be able to:
Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+
topics.
I just found out that my 14 yr old had sex. My heart is broken because she always promised she would wait till marriage. I feel like she lied to me and betrayed my trust. I'm not sure what to do. Take her to a doctor - Yes! But punishment? The damage is done. Please advise!
I would take her to the health department and have ever STD test possible done as well as a pelvic exam and pregnancy test. Get every pamphlet you can find on STD's ,teen pregnancy etc. Then sit down with her and have your own mother daughter sex ed session. Between the visit to the public health department and being forced to talk to her mother about sex, that should be punishment enough for now. Make sure she understands what she did portray your trust and it will take a lot to earn it back. Be careful though not to totally alienate her. You want to keep the communication open. I think I might consider letting the boys parents know their son had sex with your daughter.
I completely agree with bushg, have her volunteer at those places, and let her babysit. I'm 24, and whenever I think about having sex/kids I babysit one of my friend's kids, or talk to them (cos they're all single moms) about what its like, and then (miraculously) the feeling of wanting that goes away. You should educate her on all the effects sex can have. Good luck to you!
how can you punish a girl for doing something natural if you never did what she did she would never been born
BECAUSE SHE'S 14 FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!
Do any of you know the risks involved with a child of 14 who becomes pregnant? The risks to the fetus and the risks to the teen are tremendous and some are life threatening.
As for STDs this is a very graphic website, do not enter unless you have a very strong stomach, THIS IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART, but one of our health departments uses these pictures when educating their clients about STDs.
I agree with a lot of the information that you have received above but there is one thing that you have to understand her young brain has not yet developed to understand all of the pitfalls of having sex. So I think what you need to do now is to educate her by telling her all of the she needs to know about having a baby, the fact that she would loose her teenage years. Tell her about all of the responsibilities of feeding, housing, keeping the baby in clothes. Then now that you know that she is not capable of being responsible I think it is time that you get her some kind of birth control. I know this sounds like you are endorsing her to have sex but I feel like that is much better than bringing a baby into the world to be raised by a baby herself, and no father around, or to be raised by the grandparents Good Luck to you.
You can't lock your kids up, but you can put restrictions on them. I'm not saying this is true in your case, but I am often amazed at how surprised some parents are that their kids are having sex, when the young ones are allowed to date, go anywhere without your checking up in them and give them too much freedom.
You've got to be the "mean parents" Say No! to a lot of stuff they have no business doing in the first place. They don't go anyplace unless you take them, if they go to a friends house, get a verbal OK from the other parent. Stay vigilant. It takes time and work, but it's worth it and it's really our job as parents.
how can you punish a girl for doing something natural if you never did what she did she would never been born
I am assuming the parent was an adult when she conceived her. There is a BIG difference between 14 year olds having sex and adults.
If this 14 year old gets pregnant, who is to take care of her and that child?
If a responsible adult gets pregnant, they are at least employed, are taking care of themselves and can take care of a child.
Aside from that, just because something is "natural" to do, does not mean it is to be done irresponsibly and without restriction. What a world this would be if we all just did what came natural without any thought of repercussion or responsibility.
Well 14 certainly isn't. I don't thnik you should even date. at 14. I did not have sex until I was married at 23.
I think if you cannot handle the consequenses that may come about such as pregancy, if you have no job, no way to support a child, have not completed HS, if you are not old enough to get married, you should not be having sex.
Linear Mode
