I know what I believe forgiveness to be, but what do you believe it is?

How do you forgive and is it possible to forget?

If you have any answer or input to any of these questions, I would really appreciate it.

Starman

I wasn't using the scripture in that unscriptural way. Actually, there is nothing in that scripture which makes it amenable to being used in support of that idea. If indeed there is-pray tell. : )

Krs

I agree.
Its difficult or forgive and forget, but forgiveness comes in time, once you slowly heal your pain, but forgetting is slightly harder.

fredg

Hi,
Great answers.
I can only echo some of them.
Forgiveness is part of being a Christian; but forgetting about it is a different story! "I forgive you" means forgetting about oneself, and helping another.
But, again, we don't want to "shut the door" completely on the past, but we want to do so, to the extent that the past doesn't bother us anymore. As another suggested, we learn from our mistakes. Forgetting about the past means we would not remember those mistakes; hence can't act "in the now" to better ourselves.
Some do not have the capacity for forgiveness, and in my opinion, it's because of Ego and Pride. The old saying that "Pride goeth before the fall" is so true. It is only with humility, practicing being humble, that one finds it within oneself to forgive someone for past actions.
But, remembering those actions can help in the future, not following "prey" to the same things again!

31pumpkin

I agree with forgiveness comes with being a Christian. However, I also believe that forgiveness can come with time passing.

With that I mean if a persons actions or words have been opposite to the philosophy of "do onto others as you would have them do unto you" Well, then that person certainly would have to SHOW me some change in the actions/attitude to make amends. If they want to be friendly or even loving, they must improve or their out!

I wouldn't even consider being burdened by having to forgive someone if they were very obviously the wrong ones. I'd pretty much forget about them and their limited intelligence until they come into the picture again, and then see if they've changed. I'm at peace with that.

It works both ways. I expect the same from myself.

valinors_sorrow

Thank you Starman for the answer you provided here.
Although I couldn't see unforgiveness in the word "consume" in your scriptural quote, and I saw only a little more in that first site you linked, I did see it laid out plainly in the last site. You were right about how God is portrayed as not forgiving in some circumstances.

It was interesting (not that I agree with Christianity, mind you and all of my statements about forgiveness have been from a non-religious or generally spiritual only place) but I am more educated about it now - thank you.

aqua@home

I think that forgiveness is important for the person doing the forgiving. I agree that forgiveness can come with time but I think that you should forgive those that are obviously wrong. Isn't who is wrong obvious most of the time?

aqua@home

I don't think there is a circumstance when you shouldn't forgive. I thought God commanded us to forgive others as He forgives us?

Starman

Glad you benefited from the info valinors_sorrow.

About the word "consume," the KJV can be a bit difficult to understand at times due to the use of archaic English expressions. But I use because it is public domain. The word consume, is translated in other Bible versions as "destroy". Feeling no pity meant that they were to show the same unforgiving attitude that God was displaying toward those people at that time. The reason for this is explained at the following site

http://www.rationalchristianity.net/genocide.html

valinors_sorrow

I again thank you for further clarity. You know though, that I am not entirely in keeping with Christianity. This very topic has been one of my major sticking points with certain faiths. A religion that pits humankind against humankind is just not possible from the creator who created me. With all due respect to those of great faith here, I think some parts of religions may have been written more by erroring humans than any Divinity.

And that is just my little ol' opinion and nothing to get worked up about too.

But that doesn't mean I am not open to looking at how religions sanction such actions explicitly. In case I need to debate my current position more carefully. Or in case I am wrong too. My understanding of such matters are an ever-evolving thing. Sometimes daily too LOL.

But you see now why I am free to be the supporter of total forgiveness for anything anyone can possibly do. It is one of the main tenants of my overall spirituality. It goes the the very idea that all actions we take come from one of two places: love or fear. Everything else is just a variation on those two.

My empirical data says I make better spiritual decisions out of love, not fear. Not that fear isn't appropriate at times or isn't supposed to be there, just that it really gets in the way sometimes. My personal journey has been to evolve so that I, one by one, trade in my fear-based reactions for love-based one. It's been interesting,

In that sense then, forgiveness = love and nonforgiveness = fear. As a fair counterpoint to some of views expressed here, I would like to "testify" that I think I have forgiven some of the worst from people and I have only experienced positives things from it, one of which is a more heightened sense of connection spiritually. To my creator, to myself and to all of you.

I thought you might enjoy seeing some of what is behind my comments about forgiveness, at least I hope you did.

aqua@home

I agree with this completely. I know some things would definitely be more difficult for me to forgive and as "pumpkin" said, sometimes forgiveness comes with time.