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No you didn't freak me out... your experience is very similar to mine!
Yeah I never had a good experience with my biological father... he was always an a** and his murder/suicide was the crowning glory of that legacy. There are things I am more angry about with him even than his suicide, so yeah you're right again, it could be because I don't have many (or any!) positive memories of him.
Thank you all for your answers so far. I do hope that I too will be able to forgive the wrong doings in my life. I have a hard time with trying not to think about the actions when faced with the people. Some of the things that happen truly change who you are and affect the person you are. I too don't think forgetting is always possible.
I try to teach my children that an apology also means that you are going to try your best not to do that same wrong again. I would like to know how many chances you have to give people and how many you can expect. I would think that it would have to do with the wrong.
I am no psychiatrist, so I can only imagine where that anger goes - where there was no love to fall back on. I saw the book "look back in anger" and I knew I wouldn't care to read it. Wow, I think I would be satisfied with that person burning in hell. But that's just my thoughts.
Now, we look at a new reality. For one, I'm glad God found me in time.Better late than too late! That all has turned from darkness to light. That with each generation we are responsible for,we can take the middle road in teaching them that peace is the answer. And what a generation mine was for peace!
I think my daughters take after me. If someone's done them wrong and if they feel they are truly right to expect an apology.....then they are quite assertive to get one.
Occasionally I ponder if someone will forgive ME. But it fades. I think exactly what my mother said to me once......." I did the best I knew how" So if I forgave HER then that's all there must be. With an added feature to her sentence......"then God shows up!"
I blame myself if anyone robs my peace of mind. Forgetting helped me find a new reality. Some friends I met after D-Day never knew the truth about me. But I couldn't have picked up on their happy vibe if I didn't tell white lies. It worked for me. True, I don't forget the happening, and revisit it from time to time and take rx for insomnia. So I guess the shrink is in agreement with me b/c they probably just feel sorry for me and give me the script. It's all about having a sound mind. Just have to cope with it.
I know what I believe forgiveness to be, but what do you believe it is?
How do you forgive and is it possible to forget?
If you have any answer or input to any of these questions, I would really appreciate it.
Forgiveness doesn't require forgetting only an effort to keep such things out of our minds. It involves the casting aside of anger and feelings of revenge and accepting the honest contriteness of the person or persons involved. This forgiveness can also be based on the ignorance or mental incapacities or misunderstandings of the perpetrators of any injustice we suffer.
Luke 23:34
And Jesus said, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do....
BTW
Everyone doesn't deserve to be forgiven for things they do. Some persons vehemently remain unrepentant though they are well-informed and very aware of all issues involved and don't want to be forgiven. Forgiving the purposefully-wicked can actually be a sin. God doesn't.
Jeremiah 30:23
Behold, the tempest of Jehovah, even his wrath, is gone forth, a sweeping tempest: it shall burst upon the head of the wicked. KJV
But as for taking action, we have a legal system which regulates that for the sake of societal order..
Thanks starman. I will have to look into the comment about forgiving the purposefully-wicked. That is so interesting.
Luke 23:34 "And jesus said, Father, forgive them; for they know not whata they do..."
I thought something was only a sin if you knew what you it was wrong. So you wouldn't need forgiveness if you hurt someone unknowingly but they might still need to forgive you if they are aware of it? Again making forgiveness for the benefit of the one doing the forgiving.
Forgiving the purposefully-wicked can actually be a sin. God doesn't.
Jeremiah 30:23
Behold, the tempest of Jehovah, even his wrath, is gone forth, a sweeping tempest: it shall burst upon the head of the wicked. KJV
This is a big leap so don't all jump on me at once, okay??
Unless I am showing general ignorance in religious matter, I don't exactly see here the instructions that says God doesn't forgive, let alone instructions that are meant for us humans ...unless our name is Jehovah also? The quote only makes it clear that God exacts some kind of punishment (wrath) but makes no mention of forgiveness or lack of.
Starman, where is it written that if we forgive it is a sin please?
See, it is a very curious question, this one about forgiveness.
Without going into any detail I too have been hurt by others to be point of almost not surviving. Although this screwed me up for a long time, I loved people who are way too sick to trust, and I have forgiven people who repeat the mistakes seemingly knowing its wrong, knowing there are grave consequences. I am much better now having had a lot of help from professionals. With their help however, I came to a well thought out conclusion that I still love them, as unbelievable as that may seem.
Having had a front row seat to what I consider some of the sickest behavior out there, I am not able to report to you if its a case of they couldn't or wouldn't. I really don't know. Its hard for me to imagine Ted Bundy or Jeffrey Dalmer chose that. So I leave that sort of judgement up to God, or the creator or whoever it is we face when we leave here.
I am comfortable with M. Scott Peck's definition of evil as just the ultimate sickness. It makes really big sense to me to see it that way, it fits my empirical data like two piece of puzzle. So how would I treat a sick friend? Especially one capable of great destructive behaviors? Carefully, no doubt. But by the same token I wouldn't protect them from worldly consequences - that's not my job either. If I pray for them, it could possible be a lot like what the rabbi offered in Fiddler On The Roof: "God bless and keep the czar... far away from us!" LOL
But that wouldn't stop me from seeking forgiveness since the forgiveness is for me, not them. And should God need to meter out something more than that, well that seems like God's business to me. I have enough trouble just sorting out mine for the most part! LOL
PS - Chava, Orange or Aqua: If you ever want any help working on any forgiveness in a more personal sense, I am humbly offering for what its worth...
This is a big leap so don't all jump on me at once, okay??
Unless I am showing general ignorance in religious matter, I don't exactly see here the instructions that says God doesn't forgive, let alone instructions that are meant for us humans ...unless our name is Jehovah also? The quote only makes it clear that God exacts some kind of punishment (wrath) but makes no mention of forgiveness or lack of.
Starman, where is it written that if we forgive it is a sin please?
But God does forgive:
Ezekiel 18:23
Have I any pleasure in the death of the wicked? saith the Lord Jehovah; and not rather that he should return from his way, and live?
Psalm 86:5
For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive, And abundant in lovingkindness unto all them that call upon thee.
Matthew 6:14
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
The scripture speaks of those who receive God's wrath. The reason we can conclude that involves no forgiveness is because God's wrath results in eternal destruction from which there is no ressurection.
Psalm 37:37-39
When the wicked spring as the grass, And when all the workers of iniquity do flourish; It is that they shall be destroyed for ever.
Ephesians 5:6
Let no man deceive you with empty words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the sons of disobedience.
BTW
To forgive becomes a sin if we forgive those that God doesn't want us to forgive because he himself doesn't forgive them. Here is an example:
Deuteronomy 7:16
And thou shalt consume all the peoples that Jehovah thy God shall deliver unto thee; thine eye shall not pity them....
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