When i was in the 9th grade my faith was booming, no one could stop me from shouting halliluah to the LORD! But then i got into a relationship (which was a bad idea i've never had a good one) he was really nice and funny and didn't seem like the type that would hurt me at all so i put a lot of my trust in him. Well come when i was on vacation he dumped me over myspace and told me not to call him. I was crushed and as hard as i prayed the pain didn't subside. Since then its been one trip after another never getting on my feet again as hard as i try to run straight to God. I love him he knows i do, but im having to fight my own sins for my soul. I ask every night for forgiveness but i feel so filthy and sick in a way. And ever since all those consistent troubles there's been something i like to call a demon sitting in the corner of my mind saying everytime i pray "what if he's not there?" I can't stand it im so miserable and i want my faith back more than anything. I never stopped praying though and never stopped following his word but i can't find him. I'm so very lost, and so thirsty for the lord, but everytime i call to him, he doesn't seem to yell back.
PLEASE i beg you if any of you have any answers, please help me.
When you ask God to forgive you and you still feel sick inside it is YOU that are not forgiving yourself.
You need to give it all to God and just start living a godly life and have faith that he forgives you.
He says that when you repent and turn back to him he throws your sins as far as the east is to the west and forgets them.
You are the one holding on to it. In time the closer you get to God the easier it will be to get over this.
I have been there and it takes time. Read your Bible, do some topic studies, find some good Christians, pray and hang in there.
And remember lesson learned don't fall back again God will bring you someone special in time. The more you yield yourself to God the more this feeling will vanish.
First, you need to grieve over the failed relationship. God didn't leave you, and is there waiting for you to work through the failure. How can you do that?
also remember the story of the woman that pushed through the crowd to touch the hem of Jesus' garment. He turned and said 'WHO touched me'. He was being touched by all these people around him yet he turned for that one woman touching him and noticed.
Why? Because she pushed forward and made a special effort when it seemed like she couldn't or wouldn't make it to touch his garment. Yet Jesus turned and noticed.
That is what you have to do.
When i was in the 9th grade my faith was booming, no one could stop me from shouting halliluah to the LORD! But then i got into a relationship (which was a bad idea i've never had a good one) he was really nice and funny and didn't seem like the type that would hurt me at all so i put a lot of my trust in him. Well come when i was on vacation he dumped me over myspace and told me not to call him. I was crushed and as hard as i prayed the pain didn't subside. Since then its been one trip after another never getting on my feet again as hard as i try to run straight to God. I love him he knows i do, but im having to fight my own sins for my soul. I ask every night for forgiveness but i feel so filthy and sick in a way. And ever since all those consistent troubles there's been something i like to call a demon sitting in the corner of my mind saying everytime i pray "what if he's not there?" I can't stand it im so miserable and i want my faith back more than anything. I never stopped praying though and never stopped following his word but i can't find him. I'm so very lost, and so thirsty for the lord, but everytime i call to him, he doesn't seem to yell back.
PLEASE i beg you if any of you have any answers, please help me.
Sometimes it helps to keep a journal of our relationship with God. List your prayers and answered prayers along with your difficulties and how God brought you through. Then when "things" get a little messy in our life, and we think that God has left us, we can look back over what HE HAS DONE and His faithfulness. It makes the "rough" ride bearable since we know that God will see us through.
Also, about forgiveness, we only have to ask God once with a sincere heart to forgive us. If we truly did that, then He has forgiven us. He promises in His Word that He will not bring it up again. When Satan or his demons accuse you or bring up the fact that God will not hear you, or that you are not forgiven, just remind Satan that God has promised in His Word to forgive and forget; Satan has to flee. Have faith and trust God. God wants a relationship with you probably even more than you do with Him.
Remember to always put God first in whatever you do. That includes choosing the person you date. Spend time with God daily and seek His will for your life. If you are a young person, hang out with other believers. Get involved with your church group. God has a plan for your life as you know. Don't let the "world" pull you away from following after Him. All Christians have difficult times. Its just a matter of, "Do we immediately run to God at the first "hint" of difficulty (and when good times come) OR do we continue on and try to handle it ourselves?"
Being a Christian is a growing process, learn from your mistakes and move forward. Remember, God never walks away, it is always we that do that.
Read God's promises as in Proverbs 3:4-6 (New International Version)
4 Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. [a]
Faith seems pretty easy when it's never been tested.
You said you are praying for the pain to subside... have you considered the possibility that subsiding the pain is not the solution that He wants you to have?
You know there is nothing that can be put before you that you cannot overcome. And it sounds like you still have this HUGE unresolved issue in your life that is following you around everywhere like a little demon in the corner.
Understanding... acceptance... forgiveness... not just for the boy that left you but for yourself, as well.
We are all always fighting our own sins for our soul.
First one would have to define God to come to any kind of understanding in a reference sense. Maybe some time soon I will give my definition of God. I like the non-Biblical quote, "God helps them who help themselves". Whoever thought that up might not have understood it's full wisdom.
What is important is right now or the present which is reality. When you think about it, there is only the present. The past and future are only in the mind. I try to do things that help keep me in the present, where I feel better, think better, and make better decisions. So, my advice is to reach first base, before attempting anything else. I like going for walks on the beach and doing physical things that require my attention be in the present...
Past, present, future and living in the present really doesn't get you closer to God though.
It gets you more aware of your being in relation to here and now and you yourself but it never really got me closer to God. Closer in the sense that I prioritized my life a bit better but thats about it.
You don't find God; He finds you. He is in the face of each person you see. Jesus' second great commandment was to reflect God's love for you by giving that love to others. Find ways to show love -- read my "signature" below this.
There's an old Sunday School motto - Jesus first, others second, and yourself last. That spells J O Y.
We are blessed by God to be a blessing to each other.
My faith in God was tested the most when my parents died. I prayed all day every day for a miracle. I begged God to let them survive.
When my Dad lost his battle I hated God. Why didn't he answer my prayers? I was so angry, so hurt, I literally screamed out loud that I hated him, that I would never again trust him. I meant it with all my heart.
Then, 6 1/2 months later, my mother died. Again I screamed at God. How could he leave me all alone? How could he take two such wonderful people from this earth? Why? There had to be a reason. I wasn't willing to listen though.
It took a long time for me to realize that just because I asked for something, it didn't mean that I should be granted what I asked for.
There's a reason for everything, and only God can decide, only God knows.
Do I still wonder why? Yes, I do. Do I have a relationship with God again? Yes, I do.
I asked for a miracle, the answer was no.
He's still there for you, you just have to accept that what you asked for, it wasn't meant to be.
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