What made you start lightening your skin?

BrownDeceit · Oct 9, 2009, 03:12 PM

Hey. I'm just curious as to everyone's reasons as to why they want to lighten their skin. No one is here to judge!!!! Everyone has different reasons, one reason is not better than the other. Some people may be doing it because of social class and social standards (I know in a lot of Asian countries a lot of the social structure is dictated by skin color), some may be doing it for their own personal liking, some were teased, maybe you think it suits or facial features better, maybe you have a few skin discolorations, you were inspired by a celebrity, you're doing it for fashion, etc. What's your reason?

My reason: I'm of African descent. My father is very dark my mother is very fair. I came out dark. Like the skin complexion of the singer Kelly Rowland. I've never had a problem with my complexion all the way up until junior high school. I always thought I was really pretty. I loved my skin color. I ENJOYED getting darker. I was just so happy with myself. UNTIL. Junior High started. And I started getting teased and told I was too dark. And all of the guys would only be interested in the fairer skinned girls. I love dark brown skin. Still until this day. I LOVE it. I think it's beautiful. But what I think and what a lot of people in society think.... Is totally different. So when I was around 15 I started rummaging through the contents in my mothers cabinet and I started bleaching my skin. I was really new to it and I didn't tell my mother what I was doing and so I used Movate in large quantities with NO MIXING and it really broke me out really bad and just made my skin a mess. But it did make it lighter. Lol. Of course I stopped using it. I started using a variety of other things that got my skin to the beautiful color that it is now. I know society may tell us that it is wrong to want to lighten our skin. But the question is. Would you rather be RIGHT and UNHAPPY? Or lighten your skin and be WRONG and HAPPY? Because right now, I'm sure many people would say I'm wrong for lightening my skin. But am I wrong for liking the fact that men find me to be very beautiful now that my skin is fairer? Am I wrong for placing higher in beauty pageants because my skin is fairer? Am I wrong for wanting to be happy? Am I wrong for wanting to obtain a husband? I can honestly say. The way I was treated when having dark skin, compared to my golden caramel complexion now. Is TOTALLY different. Why should I be shunned because I want to reap the benefits that a woman with lighter skin receives?

And please avoid childish comments like: "Well I'm already light, but I just want to be a shade lighter." Bottom line. You're still lightening your skin. And please don't bash the next persons reason. They have a right to do what they want!

EggoMini · Nov 6, 2009, 07:52 PM

i think it's sade still? unless you're a twin of sade gg? lol!

divaforlyfe · Nov 6, 2009, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrownDeceit

You guys are totally right. It's so annoying because they make it seem as if there is only one correct standard of beauty when it comes to black women. And that's if your light skinned. And if you're not light skinned then you better have some very European looking features. Like Kenya Moore, Jessica White, Naomi Campbell, Liya Kebede, Joy Bryant, Chilli from TLC, Lanisha Cole, Aaliyah (May her soul RIP), Gelila Bekele, etc.

Kenya Moore

Liya Kebede

Chilli

Jessica White

Lanisha Cole

Gelila

RARELY. Very RARELY are dark skinned women with prominent west african features praised. The only one I can think of is Gabrielle Union. Though it works in my favor because I have "exotic" features, I'm not stupid or ignorant to walk around thinking that I am BETTER than someone with west african features, I just realize that society is so backwards that they'll praise me because of it. Just like they'll praise a mixed girl because of her really light skin. There is no distinct formula that equals beauty. You can be dark with west african features and still be beautiful! It's about the symmetry in ones face. Smh. I wish people could see this!

If I recall Miss Nigeria ( Agbani Darego) was one of the first to win miss world from africa,and hotel rawanda( Sophie Okonedo) I know alot of west african women who are prominate esp. in Europe, I am west african and when people find out, I'm told I have exotic features, also you have to remember that WEST africa has many ethnic tribes that have so called western features, and so called black features. I think beauty is individual then it spans out to the whole ethinic group, I am tired of the whole west/east african features comparision on this site, this isn't direct to you but to everyone on here.

Itss A New Day · Nov 6, 2009, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EggoMini

i think it's sade still? unless you're a twin of sade gg? lol!

I'm a serious Sade fan but that doesnt look like Sade to me for some reason...Golden can you help clarify my confusion please lol

divaforlyfe · Nov 6, 2009, 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrownDeceit

Soooo true. I'm starting to lose interest in him actually. He said some things the other day that urked me AGAIN. He was talking about how "interesting" puerto rican women look and how "interesting" south american women look. Oh goodness. I just did my best to grit my teeth, nod my head. And stay polite. But inside of me I was fuming. And I felt extremely INSECURE. And when he said "interesting" I know he meant fine. You should see the look on his face. Now nothing wrong with these comments he made. If he thinks these women are beautiful it's whatever, but given his track record, and given the fact he was describing the women of these places that are the non black ones. I did kind of look at him funny. I guess I just really want it to work because he's really good looking and popular. But I feel so nervous all the time. I went to the store to buy more perm to perm my hair and make sure that my curls blended and looked even more natural and like I had natural curly hair. And I've been lightening like crazy. I just feel so much pressure to look mixed. And I think I'm really getting there because 3 people in the last two weeks asked me what I was. Not saying that this equals prettier than someone who looks solid black. But. Let's face it. Why are so many of us trying to lighten? Because we want to look different from what we already are. We want a change.

If you are with someone just because they are popular and good looking then you are with him for the wrong reasons and it's also Superficial, It sounds to me that the both of you are insecure and have internal issues, esp, him to work out. He will only change when he wants to, but right now it seems that he is not ready be open minded. Be careful, because men like that will tear down your self esteem. You will find yourself trying to attain a certain standard that you will never reach. I am sure that you are way to good for him, think about it, you were never ugly (face wise) to begin with, he did not like you because you were darker, now that you have lighten up he is with you? , I have dated a guy one time who told me that I was the only dark skin girl he had ever dated, and I was cute for dark skin girl, lets just say it did not last long, I found him to insecure and ignorant.

Golden_Girl · Nov 6, 2009, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Itss A New Day

I'm a serious Sade fan but that doesnt look like Sade to me for some reason...Golden can you help clarify my confusion please lol

lol...it's Sade, at a Manhattan restaurant. I'm a huge Sade fan, still waiting for her new album to drop. But yeah, my complexion goal is close to this.
http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment...readers_s.html

Itss A New Day · Nov 6, 2009, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Golden_Girl

lol...it's Sade, at a Manhattan restaurant. I'm a huge Sade fan, still waiting for her new album to drop. But yeah, my complexion goal is close to this.
An Appeal to Vulture Readers: Send Us Tips and Leave Sade Alone! -- Vulture

Ok looking at the picture up close and personal it does look like her, thanx Golden and she sure did look P-Oed!

Golden_Girl · Nov 6, 2009, 10:52 PM

lmao...yeah she did, that was funny. i most likely would have reacted the same way. then again, if I sa her there I would have interupted her conversation for an autograph and photo taken with her.

nikkicute · Nov 7, 2009, 06:45 PM

Ooops!! I think I went Ellen Degeneres for a second. LOL!!
Kenya Moore is a hottie!!!!

I want boobs like hers!!

Pwincess anu · Nov 14, 2009, 12:38 PM

hey the reason why i wanted to lighten my skin is because i think it would suit my skin better i am pakistani and i have a wheatish colour skin but i want to be white i want to be beautiful i see other girls who have beautiful white skin and i want to be just like them!

Vanillawannabe · Nov 14, 2009, 03:52 PM

Hi everyone, Im here to say I havent lightened, and i dont wanna anymnore! I always get attention from guys anyway, and i wasnt that unhappy about my looks to stay committed to lightening. I know I sound stupid...but that comment I made about darksin was based on inseccurity...i was bullied by a gang of dark skinned girls in elem school and developed an aversion to dark skin. But now im in college, and more mature. dark skinned men are gorgeous when theyre buff! but yeah. just an update. sorry if i offended anyone here who is dark.



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