Hey. I'm just curious as to everyone's reasons as to why they want to lighten their skin. No one is here to judge!!!! Everyone has different reasons, one reason is not better than the other. Some people may be doing it because of social class and social standards (I know in a lot of Asian countries a lot of the social structure is dictated by skin color), some may be doing it for their own personal liking, some were teased, maybe you think it suits or facial features better, maybe you have a few skin discolorations, you were inspired by a celebrity, you're doing it for fashion, etc. What's your reason?
My reason: I'm of African descent. My father is very dark my mother is very fair. I came out dark. Like the skin complexion of the singer Kelly Rowland. I've never had a problem with my complexion all the way up until junior high school. I always thought I was really pretty. I loved my skin color. I ENJOYED getting darker. I was just so happy with myself. UNTIL. Junior High started. And I started getting teased and told I was too dark. And all of the guys would only be interested in the fairer skinned girls. I love dark brown skin. Still until this day. I LOVE it. I think it's beautiful. But what I think and what a lot of people in society think.... Is totally different. So when I was around 15 I started rummaging through the contents in my mothers cabinet and I started bleaching my skin. I was really new to it and I didn't tell my mother what I was doing and so I used Movate in large quantities with NO MIXING and it really broke me out really bad and just made my skin a mess. But it did make it lighter. Lol. Of course I stopped using it. I started using a variety of other things that got my skin to the beautiful color that it is now. I know society may tell us that it is wrong to want to lighten our skin. But the question is. Would you rather be RIGHT and UNHAPPY? Or lighten your skin and be WRONG and HAPPY? Because right now, I'm sure many people would say I'm wrong for lightening my skin. But am I wrong for liking the fact that men find me to be very beautiful now that my skin is fairer? Am I wrong for placing higher in beauty pageants because my skin is fairer? Am I wrong for wanting to be happy? Am I wrong for wanting to obtain a husband? I can honestly say. The way I was treated when having dark skin, compared to my golden caramel complexion now. Is TOTALLY different. Why should I be shunned because I want to reap the benefits that a woman with lighter skin receives?
And please avoid childish comments like: "Well I'm already light, but I just want to be a shade lighter." Bottom line. You're still lightening your skin. And please don't bash the next persons reason. They have a right to do what they want!
Oprah once said that people always give us indications of who they truly are, but we just choose not to see it because we don't want to see it. The indications are always there, whether they be subtle or overt.
I mean yes. He did say some comments that really put me on edge. BUT he is a really good person otherwise. He's very kind, nice, generous, and giving. He's just not attracted to dark skinned girls. Apparently. And he doesn't find dark skin to be flattering either.... Because he made that comment about his friend. Which is ironic because dark skinned men are put on a pedestal when it comes to attractiveness in this country.
You know we may all have a type that we are not attracted to, but I am sure that holding a conversation where our sole aim is to put them down would not be the first topic we choose to discuss when we first get chatting to someone we might like. Surely it should be a more positive conversation. As I said before, I think it is good that you are seeing the real person and can now decide if you really want that sort of man in your life, no matter how D*m Attractive he is !!! LOL
I guess the race issue, skin color, hair texture etc issue is just complicated for everyone so it seemsexcept for the people who inflict ignorance.. lol... after reading some of your posts I see that not only am I not alone... but it seems a wroldwide wierdness people have especially regarding women with dark complexions... or more specifically Black women... because I've had girlfirends of different races who may have even been darker than I but were regarded as beautiful and exotic, (maybe because they had straight or wavy hair) and I was regarded as the ugly dark one or plain because I looked like a "regular Black girl" which I never quite understood as a comment... but I often hear as if I were somehow removed out of some spectrum of beauty and intrigue...
I guess in a way I am... I'm not the Black girl who looks like something "Else" like the famous girls.. "Kimora" or the light skinned "Tyra" or Beyonce types.... and then I'm not the tall dark African beauty types that are deemed as super models the Naomi or the S. African girl "Wek" or whatever her name is....
I just don't get how every other race girl is not compared standing alongside super models... regular old white girls, asians, hispanics and others are accepted as just such and then measured alongside their regular old white girl counterparts... but for us to even be considered "attractive" it's like you gotta be beyond beauty itslef or the guy just has a "thing for you" ... lol...
It's like we have to be that person's preference in order to be even seen unless we are the famous super beauties.... whilst other women can be pretty but just not that man's "type".... I don't know.. I think I kind of mentioned this earlier in my previous posts but I'm just venting again as I faced another marriage rejection from another jerk who wasn't into Black girls.. lol...
and just had another person (a close friend in fact, so I thought,) question with suspicion my ethnicity again. because in her mind,.. i "can't be Puerto Rican" cause I'm "too black"....
I guess the race issue, skin color, hair texture etc issue is just complicated for everyone so it seemsexcept for the people who inflict ignorance.. lol... after reading some of your posts I see that not only am I not alone... but it seems a wroldwide wierdness people have especially regarding women with dark complexions... or more specifically Black women... because I've had girlfirends of different races who may have even been darker than I but were regarded as beautiful and exotic, (maybe because they had straight or wavy hair) and I was regarded as the ugly dark one or plain because I looked like a "regular Black girl" which I never quite understood as a comment... but I often hear as if I were somehow removed out of some spectrum of beauty and intrigue...
I guess in a way I am... I'm not the Black girl who looks like something "Else" like the famous girls.. "Kimora" or the light skinned "Tyra" or Beyonce types.... and then I'm not the tall dark African beauty types that are deemed as super models the Naomi or the S. African girl "Wek" or whatever her name is....
I just don't get how every other race girl is not compared standing alongside super models... regular old white girls, asians, hispanics and others are accepted as just such and then measured alongside their regular old white girl counterparts... but for us to even be considered "attractive" it's like you gotta be beyond beauty itslef or the guy just has a "thing for you" ... lol...
It's like we have to be that person's preference in order to be even seen unless we are the famous super beauties.... whilst other women can be pretty but just not that man's "type".... I don't know.. I think I kind of mentioned this earlier in my previous posts but I'm just venting again as I faced another marriage rejection from another jerk who wasn't into Black girls.. lol...
and just had another person (a close friend in fact, so I thought,) question with suspicion my ethnicity again. because in her mind,.. i "can't be Puerto Rican" cause I'm "too black"....
oh the ignorance
I feel you. I've had people (only online for some reason) say I'm not from my family because of my hair texture and coloring. Also i've gotten 'too black', 'too dark' to be what I am...as if their hair-typing wizardry explains my entire family tree.
Okay so I've been talking to this new guy. And he is very attractive. Probably one of the most attractive guys I've ever spoken to. I've been trying to tell myself that he likes me for me, and it's beyond how I look and my skin complexion. But... Anyway. So everything is going fine. He's in my dorm room hanging out. Then he says something crazy. He was like "Yeah people with better hair are on a different level than people with nappy hair" .....I was like.... "? You're so ignorant. Get out of my room." And I kicked him out of my room. I think he thinks my hair is naturally curly and long, but it's a weave. Then he came back like an hour and a half later and apologized and everything was fine. We hung out and just talked for like another 4 hours. And he was so sweet. And he was talking about how he told his friends that I was a 9/10 and that I was gorgeous. And we were just talking about all types of things. And for the most part it was good. BUT like two or three times he said some stuff to put dark skinned people down. He was like "Oh yeah I was worried about you having a crush on my friend, but he's dark. So I ain't worried." I was thinking "Are you serious?" but I didn't say anything because I'm so paranoid about that topic you know? And I didn't want to seem so uptight! and then we were looking at a picture of this dark skinned video girl and I was like "Oh my God she is GORGEOUS!" (she was really gorgeous!), and he goes "Oh but she dark though" ........Again I was thinking , "Are you serious?" but I didn't say anything. Then he said something AGAIN, for some reason we were talking about whoopi goldberg and he was like "she dark anyway" ....WHAT-THE-HELL. Oh my God. He's like bow wows complexion and I'm like only one or two shades lighter than him. And his WHOLE family is all light skinned, he's the darkest one in his family and he's not even that dark. What is his family going to say when they meet me? I'm scared I'm not light enough. I'm caramel complected right now. Not like Alicia Keys light skinned. And I honestly don't want to be. I'm so stressed! And I'm still offended by what he said. I'm not dark skinned anymore, but I'm from Sierra Leone, and a lot of my family is dark skinned. And I don't appreciate him talking about them like that. It didn't make me feel good. And I know for a fact if I was darker he wouldn't like me. I still like him, but it's just a weird situation. You know?
Brown deceit,
i think you need to leave this dude alone because if you are looking for a real relationship that involves intimacy than that means honesty. some day he is gonna want to touch your hair, feel it and see if its really yours. That's how guys are when they get to know you. Trust me I am a weave wearer and wear loong weaves that look real natural to. (my real hair is long but not as long as the weave) anyway, what is he going to think when he finds out that your hair is not real?
or what happens if your skin starts to darken? it CAN happen and has happened to me. especially during the summer, he might want to take you out during the day, and you may tan a few shades is he still going to find you attractive? is he going to dump you for a girl that still is light after a tan?
I guess the race issue, skin color, hair texture etc issue is just complicated for everyone so it seemsexcept for the people who inflict ignorance.. lol... after reading some of your posts I see that not only am I not alone... but it seems a wroldwide wierdness people have especially regarding women with dark complexions... or more specifically Black women... because I've had girlfirends of different races who may have even been darker than I but were regarded as beautiful and exotic, (maybe because they had straight or wavy hair) and I was regarded as the ugly dark one or plain because I looked like a "regular Black girl" which I never quite understood as a comment... but I often hear as if I were somehow removed out of some spectrum of beauty and intrigue...
I guess in a way I am... I'm not the Black girl who looks like something "Else" like the famous girls.. "Kimora" or the light skinned "Tyra" or Beyonce types.... and then I'm not the tall dark African beauty types that are deemed as super models the Naomi or the S. African girl "Wek" or whatever her name is....
I just don't get how every other race girl is not compared standing alongside super models... regular old white girls, asians, hispanics and others are accepted as just such and then measured alongside their regular old white girl counterparts... but for us to even be considered "attractive" it's like you gotta be beyond beauty itslef or the guy just has a "thing for you" ... lol...
It's like we have to be that person's preference in order to be even seen unless we are the famous super beauties.... whilst other women can be pretty but just not that man's "type".... I don't know.. I think I kind of mentioned this earlier in my previous posts but I'm just venting again as I faced another marriage rejection from another jerk who wasn't into Black girls.. lol...
and just had another person (a close friend in fact, so I thought,) question with suspicion my ethnicity again. because in her mind,.. i "can't be Puerto Rican" cause I'm "too black"....
oh the ignorance
It's the self hate that is in the black community.
I notice that when a black guy is judging a girl that most common thing you hear is "she aint no beyonce" or "she aint no halle berry"
Just why are we always being judged by these celebrity women with a particular phenotype.
It's the self hate that is in the black community.
I notice that when a black guy is judging a girl that most common thing you hear is "she aint no beyonce" or "she aint no halle berry"
Just why are we always being judged by these celebrity women with a particular phenotype.
Why can't we just be pretty and leave it at that.
My theory is that the One Drop Rule(In the US, everyone with any known African ancestry was put into the Black group, AFAIU.) is partly to blame.
If you're throwing in everyone with any degree of African ancestry into one pool, then in a racist & colorstruck society, the so-called "prettiest black women" will almost always be the ones with the more European(or Asian, Native, Arab, etc) physical traits. It's a total scam!
If people were honest and specific (when possible) about their background i think it would help. In this warped system, there's no reason for someone like me (mostly African) to compare myself to another 'black' woman who's European-heavy in her ancestry. I also don't see a reason for a woman with more African ancestry than I have (or with a more stereotypically W. African phenotype) to compare herself to me.
IMO, beauty goes beyond race and coloring. Beyonce is a cute girl but not the world-class beauty that she's hyped to be. She obviously requires a lot of work(and that's fine too).
Halle is naturally gorgeous as is Kenya Moore, IMO.
It's crazy that the whiter black women often receive a free beauty credit whether they are actually extra-attractive or not. I'd feel weird knowing that people were 'feeling me' just because how much more European or Native American I looked than whoever I'm standing next to..
Madness!
It boggles my brain that someone could think Bey was automatically prettier than Kenya simply because of coloring but I'm sure that, for many, it's true.
You all are doing some preachin' up in here... can I get a hallelujah!! LOL... feels good to hear some sane people talking finally!!!
Eggo you real hit the nail on the proverbial coffin lol because what you said is exactly how I feel, I mean I could never compare myself to Lauren London because as beautiful as she is, she is half white, and we both share totally different DNA's so some of her features will probably never appear in my bloodline unless I marry out of my race or one of the caucasian traits of a great great great grandparent (to the umpth degree) pops up in one of my offspring. Black women, especially darker skinned women, are really pressured as far as beauty goes, I mean as far as Hollywood goes you have to be an exceptionally beautiful dark skinned woman to make it (like Jill Marie Jones from Girlfriends). It is just an extreme to try to put myself on the same spectrum as other people in different races because each race has attributes that make them distinct from other races, and if you are an Asian girl trying to compare yourself to a black girl, I just don't think that will fly, besides the disparity in skin color. I hope this makes sense to you guys.
Eggo that would give a guy a shock and see his true colors..lol
All so true. I think society is still greatly unaware of how these things can effect women of color, but as soon as she begin's to lighten so many people are ready to jump down her throat and make it seem as though the female is so sinister. It's sad how so many men of color are extreme intraracists and colorists to their own. To me I just think women need to broaden their options, and if a man of a different race likes them for who they are and see their beauty...I rather have that any day than dealing with men who may look like me but think they are God's gift to all women and have the rights to down-cast me. Many rapper's lyrics enjoys reminding such ignorance.
I still like him, but it's just a weird situation. You know?
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