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Hey. I'm just curious as to everyone's reasons as to why they want to lighten their skin. No one is here to judge!!!! Everyone has different reasons, one reason is not better than the other. Some people may be doing it because of social class and social standards (I know in a lot of Asian countries a lot of the social structure is dictated by skin color), some may be doing it for their own personal liking, some were teased, maybe you think it suits or facial features better, maybe you have a few skin discolorations, you were inspired by a celebrity, you're doing it for fashion, etc. What's your reason?
My reason: I'm of African descent. My father is very dark my mother is very fair. I came out dark. Like the skin complexion of the singer Kelly Rowland. I've never had a problem with my complexion all the way up until junior high school. I always thought I was really pretty. I loved my skin color. I ENJOYED getting darker. I was just so happy with myself. UNTIL. Junior High started. And I started getting teased and told I was too dark. And all of the guys would only be interested in the fairer skinned girls. I love dark brown skin. Still until this day. I LOVE it. I think it's beautiful. But what I think and what a lot of people in society think.... Is totally different. So when I was around 15 I started rummaging through the contents in my mothers cabinet and I started bleaching my skin. I was really new to it and I didn't tell my mother what I was doing and so I used Movate in large quantities with NO MIXING and it really broke me out really bad and just made my skin a mess. But it did make it lighter. Lol. Of course I stopped using it. I started using a variety of other things that got my skin to the beautiful color that it is now. I know society may tell us that it is wrong to want to lighten our skin. But the question is. Would you rather be RIGHT and UNHAPPY? Or lighten your skin and be WRONG and HAPPY? Because right now, I'm sure many people would say I'm wrong for lightening my skin. But am I wrong for liking the fact that men find me to be very beautiful now that my skin is fairer? Am I wrong for placing higher in beauty pageants because my skin is fairer? Am I wrong for wanting to be happy? Am I wrong for wanting to obtain a husband? I can honestly say. The way I was treated when having dark skin, compared to my golden caramel complexion now. Is TOTALLY different. Why should I be shunned because I want to reap the benefits that a woman with lighter skin receives?
And please avoid childish comments like: "Well I'm already light, but I just want to be a shade lighter." Bottom line. You're still lightening your skin. And please don't bash the next persons reason. They have a right to do what they want!
Your second picture did not work so there is nothing to compare to.
And who says I have not experienced 'years of injustice' because I am pale?
It goes both ways, you also do not know my race, simply that I am "white"
People who use products to tan their skin are in my opinion fakes... they do it purely for aesthetic reason an honestly every person I have met who tans their skin is a complete bimbo.
I personally do not like skin cancer or looking orange.
I agree with your comments Itss a new day, I do hope she (or anyone) is not just looking for a man who noticed their skin color first and their personality second.
And yes lightening creams are only temporary, you are going to have to do it every single day your entire life if you want to be "happy"
Nothing is worth that much pain and frustration to look "good"
I think the first girl looks very pretty, but I also think the second one is pretty as well.... that is just based on looks... if they are absolutely obsessed with their skin I wouldn't want to know them.
Beauty is only skin deep, as the saying goes.
Because if you understood where some of us are coming from, then you would not make it known as though you can not relate. Instead you would be able to relate. But, I have been visiting the tanning threads often within these past 3 months and I have never seen any posts of anyone questioning and trying to show light to them for tanning or wanting to acheive the appearance of tanned skin I wonder why? I do not mind others who want to ask and understand why we do what we do, as the reasons can be versatile. But, when it becomes repetitive and for others to become offended for our choices, but does not make these same posts known to those who tan or wish to alter themselves in one way or another in the other threads...to me I don't consider it to be fair really. It's like, then why have this forum up here if the objectives are to try and make them feel uncomfortable about their choices and enlighten them? Especially when someone else considered another's experiences to be considered "bull", that is so unsensitive and offensive. It's challenging enough to meet others who share the same interests and goals with one another, but to finally find an online forum where we can share is like being singled out and judged all over again.
Some people here may feel "less than" or ashamed when standing next to a fairer person. But, I have never felt this way and feel just as an equal as I know I already am. So that's not me. But, I do feel I deserved to be treated better from what I have personally experienced though out these years and no reason in me not acheiving that. It isn't me trying to look "white", change races, or about how I'm viewed by other races. I like being my race and am actually have been treated much better by other races than I am my own. I would not even consider being with a guy who is so shallow-minded and condone me for bing darker, as I already have in the past and never will again. The would never have my time of day regardless of what shade I am because I love intellects and strongly dislike shallow, ignorant men. I do not believe "light" is better or more beautiful. But being treated better, as all races are beautiful. But whether consciously or unconsciously, society strongly disagrees and makes it very known with their words and actions and I don't have to settel for it.
Shazamataz, I consider all people beautiful regardless of their skin tone. Sudanese people are very kind and beautiful people and I know this first hand as I used to live in Sudan as well as Ethiopia and Egypt. Look at their genocide struggle mainly because of their skin color and how they are treated so badly because of their dark tone and treated this way from other black Sudanese people froim the north who consider themselves "arab". It's sick, I'll never forget trying to inform my sociology class (mixed group) and my professor (caucasion) in college about the genocide an slavery going on in Sudan. This was before it was internationally recognized as acutal genocide. My professor actually had the odacity to laugh and say my claims were false and outrageous and that stupid class went along with him. And I made it very known of his and the class'es stupidity and ignorance and stated that I have evidence what they were lacking so their foolish thoughts and giggles were bias and bogus...now I'm sure they feel mighty stupid if they acutally care what is going on.
Shaz there is no pipe. Very few, if any blacks or person of color do not care to go on the tanning forums and question anyways as we really don't mind what they choose what they do. I don't understand why many tan, but it's their choice and I respect it. I don't find it racist for a white or black to question it, but to stop always asking all of the time since they already have made up their mind of why we do what we do. So why ask if it falls on deaf ears and unopened mind anyways. We keep answering, but we all know it is more of statements to "enlighten" and not an actual question...as we have seen this hundreds of times already and nothing ever changes. I do not hate you Shaz, I find you to pretty cool. All I can say it to each his/her own, whether we are able to understand the other or not.
Itss A New Day I agree with you on that point. It is more of a choice and not a pressure so they are welcomed to do it openly. In our culture we my not express it as much verbally, but we make it very known what is praised or outcasted in many various ways.
I find every color beautiful and have dated in the past very dark tone like Awek to a very pale ginger who had bright red hair with freckles. I felt they were both very attractive inside and out, only in different ways.
Are you a woman? Are you a black woman? Are you even black? Have you physically been in our shoes? No you haven't. Because if you have, you wouldn't make such outrageous comments.
He (or she) is actually making a lot of sense.
I am Gabrielle Union's complexion with (nearly) the same exact facial features of actress K.D Aubert (from soul plane), except my nose is a little more pointier. My facial features basically look Indian/hispanic... Indians ask me if I'm Indian all the time. Just last week, an Indian man stopped and stared at me then told me I'm beautiful, and a few days ago an Indian cab driver told me I have a such a pretty face THEN told my WHITE friend that she just looks young... he didn't even say she's pretty! Honest to my dead grand mother! How can you say lighter skinned women are considered prettier?? Its bull, or maybe I've simply never been through that. Asian, Hispanic, and (esspecialy Norwegian and Italian) white men have tried to date me. I'm only 19 and the amount of compliments I've received (by black men and by men of other races) through out my teenage years is ridiculous! When I walk down the street, men stare at me and tell me how beautiful I am! I've stood next to light skinned girls on the train, and at parties and 9/10 times I was the one that was stared at. Sorry to say, but it wasn't your skin color that made you invisible to men prior to skin bleaching. It must've been your facial features.
I'm honestly not trying to be funny or make BrownDeceit feel bad, its just pure honesty. Skin color has nothing to do with beauty... its facial features. For example, Keri Hilson is darker than Keyshia Cole. But guess who's considered prettier? Keri Hilson of course.
I'm honestly not trying to be funny or make BrownDeceit feel bad, its just pure honesty. Skin color has nothing to do with beauty... its facial features. For example, Keri Hilson is darker than Keyshia Cole. But guess who's considered prettier? Keri Hilson of course.
Well in a perfect world we would all look like Keri Hilson. In Brown's defense she got too light and thought it made her look weird so she cut back and actually went out in the sun to get some color back. So there is a limit.
LoL ok now that I'm reading that, it did sound funny but seriously, I wasn't trying to be. I hope she realizes that if shes getting attention from men now and think its because she's prettier, its not that she's prettier... her confidence is what's attracting these men. And if they're calling her pretty now, then she always was pretty. No matter how pretty a girl is, if she has a low self esteem.. Men won't notice her much/ think much of her. I've realized that.
In my experience, I have been quite dark (often on purpose from tanning) and not had men issues. In full-disclosure, most of the men I dated were non-black, so that might have been a factor. or not. <shrug>
Thankyou for the explanation Golden Girl, there are a few people on here who are willing to explain things to me rather than jump down my throat and immediately call me judgemental.
I now know it's a very touchy subject, I did not know that before... As I have said it's not like that where I live so I just want to understand.
Everyone is beautiful in their own way, I have been picked on for my looks before so I know what it feels like... as I have grown as a person I have learnt to take others nasty comments with a grain of salt, if I think I'm beautiful and the people that matter think I'm beautiful then that's all that matters... screw everyone else.
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I would not even consider being with a guy who is so shallow-minded and condone me for bing darker, as I already have in the past and never will again. The would never have my time of day regardless of what shade I am because I love intellects and strongly dislike shallow, ignorant men. I do not believe "light" is better or more beautiful. But being treated better, as all races are beautiful. But whether consciously or unconsciously, society strongly disagrees and makes it very known with their words and actions and I don't have to settel for it.
I really like this passage... that's pretty much what I was trying to say, I'm glad that you do not have time for guys that only see your color and not who you are on the inside.
The only time I post is when I think that there is something more "sinister" going on... I get the feeling that the person is lightening for others approval not just for themselves.
LoL ok now that I'm reading that, it did sound funny but seriously, I wasn't trying to be. I hope she realizes that if shes getting attention from men now and think its because she's prettier, its not that she's prettier... her confidence is what's attracting these men. And if they're calling her pretty now, then she always was pretty. No matter how pretty a girl is, if she has a low self esteem.. Men won't notice her much/ think much of her. I've realized that.
Been there tried that... I said it was a confidence factor and no-one believed me.
For some it might be... for others they may infact just be picking the wrong crowd to hang out with.
LoL ok now that I'm reading that, it did sound funny but seriously, I wasn't trying to be. I hope she realizes that if shes getting attention from men now and think its because she's prettier, its not that she's prettier... her confidence is what's attracting these men. And if they're calling her pretty now, then she always was pretty. No matter how pretty a girl is, if she has a low self esteem.. Men won't notice her much/ think much of her. I've realized that.
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