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blueeyes918 · May 29, 2007, 12:07 AM

I have decided to move my kids out of our home town as it is to expensive to live here for me and my children. My youngest has informed me that she wants to go live with her dad. Unfortanately her dad has told her the only way she can live with him is if I sign over my parental rights. I have tried explaining to my daughter what that means but she's not getting it. Please someone help me explain this to her and let her know that I cannot do this as I want to be a part of her life and her father is being unfair to her by asking this request of me. HELP!!

ScottGem · May 29, 2007, 02:17 AM

Relinquishing parental rights means that you would no longer have a say in how the child is raised. You would have no rights for visitation. Effectively you would be out of the child's life.

That being said, its unlikely he can force you to do this. Generally the courts will only allow it in case of a step parent adoption.

What is his rationale for asking this?

Nebula · May 29, 2007, 03:57 AM

I have been through this situation before also. I have 3 daughters 5,7 and 12. But I left them, believing they would be better off, for three months. After realising the best mother I could be was one who was there, trying the best for her children, I came back. And that's after telling my ex I wouldn't! I believe had I been forced to prove legally that I should have my children, they still would be with me. I don't know your situation but I do know you have the knowledge whether your daughter understands what she is asking, if you feel she doesn't then let her know you have considered her wishes and that you have come to a decision that is in her best interest. And he could let her trial it also. Be Happy.

blueeyes918 · May 30, 2007, 01:47 AM

His rationale is he needs to be in control. He's being manipulative and he would love nothing more than to make my life miserable. He has been doing this for 14 yrs now and I just don't have anymore fight in me. I feel like giving up. My daughter also thinks I'm the bad guy for doing this and she feels that I have had her for 14 yrs it's her dad's turn. As much as I would hate to see her go I feel I have run out of options.

Nebula · May 31, 2007, 05:58 PM

You sound like you really just need a break to reassess what it is your life you do want. There is nothing at all wrong with that, surely there is some way you could discuss this option with someone close to you. You are doing a better job than what you think, mate. If you can do this, you've taken care of your child in a much more balanced way, and if it's only control he wants, he'll realise this when he's the one she's totally dependent upon. Don't let him be the one in control of your emotions/life, if you do take a break, do it to explore yourself and what you have to offer to yourself. You may then realise, you have so much and feel more confident to be what you need to be for your daughter. Be Happy.