[lifes lessons]

Hello I'm new to this, I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 25, we have been trying for a baby for nearly a year now and nothing its making me feel ill with worry, my family is very fertile my mum got pregnant easilly my gran did, I'm so scared its me all my friends are having babies and its really upsetting me I cry every day wishing I was pregnant! Please someone give me some advice x

[danielnoahsmommy]

Why have a baby if you are not married. Do you want one because all your friends are having one, would you also jump off a bridge, shave your head or any other crazy thing because someone else is doing it.

[lifes lessons]

Me and my boyfriend have been engaged a year we are marrying this christmas, we are both ready, and no I have been trying for a baby even before any of my friends concived, I don't want to be judged I need advice.

[danielnoahsmommy]

I did not mean to judge you. And please don't be so defensive. Since you and your fiancé are trying really hard you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Sometimes if you are stressed it just won't happen. Just relax, forget about trying for a while, have fun with your upcoming wedding. Just think of it this way have a laugh and say wow thank God I'm not pregnant now I would be huge on my wedding day..

Case in point how many adopting couples find out they are pregnant right after their adoption is finalized.

[lifes lessons]

I suppose it has been stressing me out, but now that its been nearly a year its always going to be in the back of my mind that I can't have children, I've thought about going back on the pill, but then ill always think I can't have children. It just really is worrying me. I work with children I'm a nursery nurse and I see babies all the time it hurts.

[lifes lessons]

Thank you for your advice though do you have children?

[danielnoahsmommy]

The pill won't stop you from having children in the long run. But why go back on the pill there are other options for birth control that do not affect a females hormonal system. Don't let it upset you. I can tell you are longing for a baby. But having a baby ages you very quikly sure you are 18 but you will feel much older with extra weight and up all night with baby. Enjoy your youth a little longer. Once you actively start trying most people around your age give it a year before they go to a specialist as you get older than 30 I would sugest a good six moths of trying before you get some help.

[danielnoahsmommy]

I do have a 4 year old son

[lifes lessons]

Yes it has nearly been a year I'm going to try not to get upset about it, I can't help the way I feel though. Its always there every day I wake up or go to sleep I think about it

[lifes lessons]

How long did it take you to conceive is there any advice you can give me on concieveing

[danielnoahsmommy]

Please don't take this the wrong way, before you go to a fertility specialist I would talk with a therapist. You seem extreamly anxious and it may help to talk with a professional.

[rosepedal]

Ive been trying for a year now and still haven't conceived either. My younger sister is 6months along now to add to it. I know how hard it is and how miserable it can make you.
First you should talk to your doctor, let him/her know how stressful this has been for you and ask what you can do to make your body ready to be pregnant.
But in the mean time do what ever you can to take your mind off becoming pregnant. Plan for the future and make sure your eating right and taking pre-natals.
Its less stressful to think of what you'll need when your pregnant than thinking of when your going to conceive.
I wish you the best of luck, and happiness. Oh and congratulations on getting married.

[danielnoahsmommy]

It did not take that long or maybe it did. My husband and I also said if it happens it happens. We did that for three years. But we were not trying at all. One day I said hon I'm ovulating lets make a baby. We had sex and out came my son. (by the way on our first official try and I was 32.

[lifes lessons]

Thank you rosepedal I'm glad someone knows what it is like. We are both in the same situation. I wish you the best of luck to

[lifes lessons]

Well your lucky you have a child I don't think you can really understand what its like when you haven't actually had to 'try' for a child this is to danielnoahsmommy

[lifes lessons]

I didn't mean that it a nasty way either its very upsetting going through this

[danielnoahsmommy]

Yes I do. Every future mom, present and past mom understands how it feels. My advice to you is no less accurate because I am not in the same position as you are, the best experience and knowledge comes from living a life the best way you know how. I take slight offence to your views. As you grow older and more mature you will realize my advice was true and genuine and came from real life experience and from intelligent thought rather that emotional reaction.

[lifes lessons]

You will probibly be right you seem mature and you seem to know what you are saying, sorry no offense was meant to you

[lifes lessons]

Do you have children already rosepedal?

[Myth]

Just relax. The stress of trying to conceive is what's making it harder to get pregnant. Try taking a vacation. Get out of the house. Have some fun... Go to an amusment park and let off some of that stress... If you aren't charting already I recommend this site. Ovulation Calendar and Ovulation Chart - FertilityFriend.com It helped me... *see pic on the left*... lol...