[NOV16]

I want a baby bad, but my fiancé wants to wait till we get married. I've wanted one for a while but just told him last night and now he's upset because I want something he doesn't and I'm upset because I feel like I pressured him. In the past I told him I didn't want one for a while and now that I've changed my mind I was just going to tell him just in case he changes his mind. I wasn't trying to make him or push him I just wanted him to know. Now he's in a mood and I'm in a mood. I really really want a baby. I've wanted it for longer than he realizes any encuraging words or advice?

[spea94]

How old are you? When are you getting married?

I am with your future husband... wait tell the right time and if he doesn't want to try tell you get married I think that's a good idea. Is there or could there be another reason for him to wait?

[buggage]

Maybe he's feeling a little overwhelmed with the future wedding and the changes it will bring, and is afraid to add another change into it so quickly. I know how it is to want a baby so badly, but as a girl who got married and pregnant the next month, I would suggest that you wait. Marriage is a big change, and adding baby and hormones into that, its hard. You are just getting to know each other all over again, you start to see things nad notice things about the other person that you didn't see or notice before, and it takes time to get use to, and adjust, and just plain get to know each other deeper and more intimately then before. When you get pregnant right away, he not only has to get to know you better, but has to adjust to all the quick hormone induced emotional changes, and the physical changes, and facing new financial situations, etc. it's a bit overwhelming, and can be quite a rough start to your new relationship status. Most importantly, sit down, tell him what you told us, about not pressuring him, but telling him you are ready when he is ready. Then really mean it. Good luck.

[Fr_Chuck]

I would say that having a baby has to be a joint choice, if he is wanting to wait, then you wait, esp till you are married, and I would advice tillyou are married about 2 years, have a chance to get used to being married.

[iscorpio]

i want a baby bad, but my fiance wants to wait till we get married. i've wanted one for a while but just told him last night and now hes upset because i want something he doesnt and im upset because i feel like i pressured him. in the past i told him i didnt want one for a while and now that ive changed my mind i was just going to tell him just incase he changes his mind. i wasnt trying to make him or push him i just wanted him to know. now hes in a mood and im in a mood. i really really want a baby. ive wanted it for longer than he realizes any encuraging words or advice?

Darling, I know how you feel, my youngest daughter wanted a baby so desperately that when she went to a wedding or some occasion with the family around she used to cry her out eyes out, it was all she ever wanted, her husband kept telling her, next year, next year, in the end her marriage fell apart because of this pressure, she now has a beautiful little girl and her world revolves around her. All I am saying is that you must discuss this thoroughly and both agree as to what you really want or you will end up resenting each other. I hope you can resolve this amicably and am sure in time without pressure you will have the most adorable child that you can both love because you both wanted your baby so much. Take care, love and peace anne x