[kjogalloway]

My Husband had a child with an ex girlfriend in November 2005. He hasn't spoke to or seen the child since February 2006. He has had no desire to see the child or help support it since he doesn't really consider himself the father because he's never really done anything for her. The mother lives about 250 miles away and has not made any attempt for the two to get together but she is coming after him for child support. Can he terminate his parental rights? And does he need the mothers consent? And what qualifies him for this? Any information would be helpful.

[Fr_Chuck]

First why would you ever want to live with a man who cares nothing for his own child, Not really prime husband material in my book and not much of a man.

But he can NEVER not pay child support unless his ex remarries and they want to adopt, he can give away his rights to visit, or his rights to any custody level. But he will have to continue to pay child support no matter if he gives up his rights or not.

** She will get child support, he can't stop her. The court will order it, and even garnish it from his pay if he does not pay.

There would not be men sittling in prison today for not paying if it was just as easy as "giving up a right"

[excon]

Hello kj:

If you read a little bit around here, you'll find 100's of dads that think they can give up their child support obligations. The answer we give most of the time is, if that were so, there would be dead beat dads lined up at our nations courthouses.

Why would any dad think he doesn't have to support his children?? Who does he think should support them? ME, the taxpayer??

excon

[wynelle]

What a jerk! Doesn't want to see his child. Doesn't want to support his child. Since it was a girlfriend, he was more than just a sperm donor. Why in the world would you support this behavior?

[ScottGem]

what qualifies him for this?

I really find it hard to believe you asked that. What could possibly "qualify" a man to abandon his child?

As you've been told and as you would have learned if you had bothered to read some of the other threads on this same subject, is that he can't get rid of his responsibility to that child. And shame on both of you for thinking you could.

[Emland]

Why would any dad think he doesn't have to support his children??? Who does he think should support them? ME, the taxpayer????

excon

Can I get an Amen?

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, I just hate the idea lets fast forward some years and this baby comes to a board like this, and says he wants to find his "real" father, since his mother will not tell him anything,

[47yo]

Okay - look, I'm an attorney in California and I have extensive experience on this issue. You are getting parental "rights" mixed up with parental "obligations". He has the right to have a relationship with the child, but whether he chooses to exercise any of his rights, he cannot get out of his obligation to support that child financially. And the less time he spends with the child, the more he has to pay! The rationale for this is that whoever has the child at any given moment is supporting the child during that moment - you know, feeding the child if it's hungry, clothing the child, supplying a roof over the child. So if there is no contact, the mother is supporting the child 100% - and they will come after the father to make a substantial contribution toward that.

So the answer is no, he cannot terminate his parental obligations under any circumstances. If the mother is on any kind of government aid, it gets worse - they can and will collect the money automatically through a wage garnishment if the father is working. They will take his tax refund automatically - he will never see it. They will charge him interest at a rate of 10%. He will threaten to quit his job (if he's working) and when he does that, they will order him to keep working - to seek and maintain employment. If he doesn't, they will file a Contempt of Court and put him in jail. They can also sell things he owns under certain circumstances. The arrearages (back support) will pile up - I've seen many guys who owe over $50,000 - and they aren't making a lot of money!

Again - the focus is on the child, not on whether it's "fair" or what either parent wants. The child is innocent and needs support, and BOTH parents have a legal obligation to support the child whether they want it or not.

[kcoyle]

[QUOTE=kjogalloway] The mother lives about 250 miles away and has not made any attempt for the two to get together but she is coming after him for child support. QUOTE]

Um hello? She is already raising his child with out any help from him. HE should be the one to make the effort to see HIS child. What a bum.

[integrity2all]

Why would you want him not to have any part of the child's life, its not the child fault that your husband cheated on you.. thats just how the child was made. What kind of woman are you to encourage him.. I hope that karma comes back to you