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    intendedsighs's Avatar
    intendedsighs Posts: 46, Reputation: 7
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    #1

    Apr 23, 2007, 04:59 PM
    Young and in love
    Okay, for starters, I just want to say that I'm sick and tired of people looking down on people who marry young. I turned 20 in March, and I would have gotten married 4 years ago if I had met my fiancé then. From the beginning, no one believed us when we said we were going to get married, not even my fiance's own parents! But that changed after I bought my wedding dress. However, even my best friend at the time (we rarely talk now) said I should wait until I had fulfilled my goals and finished school and all that... the thing was, my only goal in life is to be a good wife and mother, and that's what I'm going to do. So, no matter how many people look down on it and think I should wait... it doesn't matter. I know I love my fiancé with everything in me and I know I want him to be the one I spend the rest of my life with and have a family with, and that's that.
    krittengirl's Avatar
    krittengirl Posts: 63, Reputation: 14
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    #2

    Apr 23, 2007, 11:02 PM
    Although I think I agree that 16 is a bit young to get married in our society it does not mean that you couldn't have found the love of your life by then. I was one month past my 21st birthday when I got married and my husband was 2 months away from his 20th. We heard lots of opinions from "caring friends and family". We knew that this was what we wanted to do with our lives. We have now been happily married for over 12 years and have 4 beautiful children. I love being able to write "Full Time Mom" on paperwork that asks me to list my career.
    One piece of advice I have though is to get pre marital counseling. It will help prepare you for all of the adjustments and decisions to be made after the wedding.
    intendedsighs's Avatar
    intendedsighs Posts: 46, Reputation: 7
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    #3

    Apr 24, 2007, 06:55 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by krittengirl
    Although I think I agree that 16 is a bit young to get married in our society it does not mean that you couldn't have found the love of your life by then. I was one month past my 21st birthday when I got married and my husband was 2 months away from his 20th. We heard lots of opinions from "caring friends and family". We knew that this was what we wanted to do with our lives. We have now been happily married for over 12 years and have 4 beautiful children. I love being able to write "Full Time Mom" on paperwork that asks me to list my career.
    One piece of advice I have though is to get pre marital counseling. It will help prepare you for all of the adjustments and decisions to be made after the wedding.
    It was a requirement to get premarital counceling for the rabbi to marry us, and it's helped out plenty. We've improved a lot sine the sessions, and we only have two more sessions to go. One of the is this coming Saturday.
    krittengirl's Avatar
    krittengirl Posts: 63, Reputation: 14
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    #4

    Apr 24, 2007, 07:14 AM
    Great. May your marriage be a long and fulfilling one. May you grow old together and have children who bring you many blessings.
    Emland's Avatar
    Emland Posts: 2,468, Reputation: 496
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    #5

    Apr 24, 2007, 07:27 AM
    I got married at 19 almost 21 years ago! I don't believe people are looking down on you, they are just trying to offer their experience to possibly prevent future problems.

    The woman you are now will be drastically different from the one you will be in 5 or 10 years. When you don't allow yourself time to gain experience from simply living as a grown-up it can make life difficult later down the road.

    Although I love my husband and kids dearly, if I had to go back in time, I would probably wait another 6 years before getting married, simply because I had no idea what I wanted out of life at 19 besides getting married and getting out of the 1 horse town I grew up in.
    intendedsighs's Avatar
    intendedsighs Posts: 46, Reputation: 7
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    #6

    Apr 24, 2007, 08:13 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Emland
    I got married at 19 almost 21 years ago! I don't believe people are looking down on you, they are just trying to offer their experience to possibly prevent future problems.

    The woman you are now will be drastically different from the one you will be in 5 or 10 years. When you don't allow yourself time to gain experience from simply living as a grown-up it can make life difficult later down the road.

    Although I love my husband and kids dearly, if I had to go back in time, I would probably wait another 6 years before getting married, simply because I had no idea what I wanted out of life at 19 besides getting married and getting out of the 1 horse town I grew up in.
    So basically you got married for the wrong reason. It's sad how often that happens these days. I'm glad I'mnot one of them. My fiance's parents married when she had just finished high school and he was 21 and in the army. They had a tough start, lived in a trailer, etc, but when they look back on it, they say that if they could go back... they're do it again. They've made a good lifefor themselves and their children. They're a lot more well off than my family is, that's for sure.

    Now my fiancé has trouble with finances, but we're working through that, and I think it's getting better with his dad's help.
    Emland's Avatar
    Emland Posts: 2,468, Reputation: 496
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    #7

    Apr 24, 2007, 08:46 AM
    I don't think I got married for the wrong reason so much as I got married not knowing what I wanted out of life. My husband and I were mature for our age at the time (I tell him he has been an old fart all his life!) but we were still inexperienced about what life is all about. He wanted a life other than working as a farmer or in the paper mill and joined the Navy. I just wanted to be with him and really didn't think any further than that so we married and headed to the East Coast. We are the exception rather than the rule for people getting married in their teens.
    robertsqueen's Avatar
    robertsqueen Posts: 376, Reputation: 43
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    #8

    Apr 24, 2007, 09:00 AM
    I got married at twenty-two. I think that if you are past your teens and you are getting married for the right reason then that's great. But a lot of people are getting married for the wrong reasons. It is all just a matter of opinion.
    Tuscany's Avatar
    Tuscany Posts: 1,049, Reputation: 229
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    #9

    Apr 24, 2007, 09:09 AM
    My mom and dad were married young. Mom was 19 and Dad was 21. I don't think that they made a mistake. They had been dating since my mom was 12. And they were soulmates. My dad died almost a decade ago (at 47) and my mom, although dates, always says that there will be no other man in her life. She will never get married again. That is no disrespect to the men she dates, she tells them immediately. But, she feels she had her soulmate and lost him, and marrying again would be a mistake in her eyes.
    Lotz_of_Questions's Avatar
    Lotz_of_Questions Posts: 179, Reputation: 17
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    #10

    Apr 24, 2007, 10:15 AM
    I got married at 17 and my husband was 19. I finished high school and right now I'm just working. It was pretty though for us. We had no money, we lived with my sister in law for 2 months before getting our own place.
    We loved and love each other. My family thought we were too young, and His family DID NOT want us to marry, but we did. I don't regret it one bit. I'll have a chance to go to college, I'm only 19 now.
    I'm not missing out on anything, I have my husband and that's the only person I need for me to be happy. We do everything together.
    We have learned to be strong and we have showed EVERYONE that WE MADE IT and ARE MAKING IT. It's the best feeling in the world.
    ALL I can tell you is that if you feel that you are ready and you love that man, do it. You shouldn't worry about other people, because in your marriage it's only you and your husband.
    Remember that you don't have to call it quits to everything, if you want to go to school, go.
    Good Luck and let me tell you that I know how you feel :)
    shannon1406's Avatar
    shannon1406 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    May 10, 2007, 01:40 AM
    Hey! I think that it wonderful that you found the one you love so soon! I am one of those people that got lucky and found the love of my life when I was 16. Right now I am about to turn 18 and I could not be happier with any one else! We have been married for about a year and a half! It is great!! I am very happy for you! Congrats and I hope your wedding is beautiful!!

    Thanks,
    Shannon Bishop
    NowWhat's Avatar
    NowWhat Posts: 1,634, Reputation: 264
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    #12

    May 10, 2007, 06:58 AM
    I got married young - I don't regret it. When you know something is right - you know. Why do you have to wait for your life to start? You are of legal age - you know what you want - so why wait?
    Yes, you do grow more as you age. You won't be the same girl at 25, 30 etc. as you are now. But, who is to say you don't grow together?
    yathink103's Avatar
    yathink103 Posts: 27, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #13

    May 10, 2007, 07:22 AM
    Age has nothing to do with love. I wish you the best in life. However, do you not think it is better to wait until you are both able to support one another on your own. Bills need to be paid, marriage is more then just being married to each other. There are responsibilities. Do you both work? Can you live on your own and pay the bills incurred? If you truly love one another that won't change, my advice would be to get affairs in order and save your money.
    ncgirl_21's Avatar
    ncgirl_21 Posts: 79, Reputation: 6
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    #14

    May 16, 2007, 08:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Lotz_of_Questions
    I got married at 17 and my husband was 19. I finished high school and right now I'm just working. It was pretty though for us. We had no money, we lived with my sister in law for 2 months before getting our own place.
    We loved and love each other. My family thought we were too young, and His family DID NOT want us to marry, but we did. I don't regret it one bit. I'll have a chance to go to college, I'm only 19 now.
    I'm not missing out on anything, I have my husband and that's the only person I need for me to be happy. We do everything together.
    We have learned to be strong and we have showed EVERYONE that WE MADE IT and ARE MAKING IT. It's the best feeling in the world.
    ALL I can tell you is that if you feel that you are ready and you love that man, do it. You shouldn't worry about other people, because in your marriage it's only you and your husband.
    Remember that you don't have to call it quits to everything, if you want to go to school, go.
    Good Luck and let me tell you that I know how you feel :)
    I too know where your coming from I'm getting married in a few months I'll be 22 but we have lived togather since I was 20 just turning 20 at that he's the love of my life my Parents oppose to us getting married and want help us with the wedding but we are still going to have a beautiful wedding he has 3 kids of his own already and things have been difficult for us also with him moving from a big city to a totally different state and a very small town where jobs are scarace but things are coming togather after struggling fincially for a year we see our light at the end of the tunnel we've went from scrapeing pennies and living in a trailer where we had a "slum lord" and eating ramen noodles to living in a nice home with nice things eating steak and having money to go do things with its tough starting and working low paying jobs but it is possible I know other trials will come but keep your head up and I guess for me one thing is I'm very stubborn you tell me we can't we'll never make it gives me the strength just to keep pushing and say I'll show we you cause togather we can do anything with Gods help.

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