[patrick104]

Hi,

Me and my girlfriend have been dating several months and known each other for a little over 3 years

My question is my girlfriend does not like the idea of taking any method of birth control besides using condoms, I use the pull out method and we are both fine with that, lately she's been interested in the idea of me not pulling out but she does not want to get pregnant, her periods are kind of erratic and she hasn't had any in a few months which she said was normal, and id like to know what the chances of her getting pregnant would be if she's not having her period?

Thanks,

Patrick

[wagsthedog]

As with any form of birth control, pulling out is not going to prevent her falling pregnant. Strange she does not want to take the pill etc. I think she should speak to her GP about other forms of contraception, lots out there now... Sounds like maybe she wouldn't mind falling pregnant? It is odd to not to have your period for that long unless you have conceived or there is another med. Condition. The pill certainley helps to regulate your period with very few side effects. Its great to see a guy so concerned and using his head! I would post this Q again if you don't get further answers...

[louie1]

I would say her chances are just the same unless of course she already is?

Lots of women choose not to use contraceptin for many reasons however there are lots of methods of birth control and not all are drug based , unless of course her decision is religion based or indeed she is not fussed about getting pregnant of which I hasten to add should be a joint decision.

You cannot afford to take chances with your lives and that of a child, it is refreshing to see that a man is concerned and I commend you on this however your next task is getting your girlfriend to see sense.

[Synnen]

There is a word for people who have sex using no methods but the rhythm and pull-out methods. That word is "Parents".

If you are not using any form of contraceptive except the pull-out method, you have a higher chance of getting pregnant. If you are not using any form of birth control at all, the odds are likely that you WILL get pregnant.

I think we need to know why 1. Your girlfriend does not like birth control besides condoms and 2. why you are not using a condom.

Not using birth control is asking to get pregnant.

[iminlove]

It is my belief that if YOU don't want to become a parent you should insist on wearing a condom and explain if she wants to forgo the condoms, she should investigate other forms of birth control. (diagphram,spermicides,iud etc)
As far as irregular periods, there are many women out there that have irregular periods but they can still be ovulating and they can still become pregnant.
I think you two should have a heart to heart talk about what her wishes really are.
Maybe each of you have different objectives about having a child and it would be
A good idea to find out now.
Best of Luck!

[J_9]

Oh, boy... Patrick... sounds like you may be a daddy soon. How soon I am not sure.

Understand that the pull out method, better known as withdrawal, is not by any means a form of birth control. You are just as likely to get her pregnant using withdrawal as not pulling out.

Read this sticky, the one about pregnancy and the withdrawal method, it explains it all very well.

I, too, wonder if she wants to become pregnant or if it is for religious reasons that she does not want to use birth control.

Understand that there is no form of birth control that is 100% effective. The only way to avoid pregnancy 100% is to abstain from sex.

As she has not had her period for a few months, you need to get her to take a pregnancy test. While it may be normal for some young girls, she may be pregnant and would need to have a prenatal visit to ensure her health and the health of the baby.

Please get her to take the test and begin using protection of some sort unless you are ready to be a father.

If she will not use birth control, and you don't want to be a father, use condoms. If she refuses to use condoms, just refuse to have sex.

You have every right to protect your future.

[patrick104]

Please read my newest response on page 2

[J_9]

You don't like to use a condom, but you like to have sex. Hmmm, one has to wonder how you would like to be a father.

You have been tested for what? STDs? Well, STDs aren't the only things condoms protect you from.

If you are serious about being an adult and having sex, then you must be serious about the possible consequences.

Do you have a good stable job? Are you able to provide the necessities that a baby brings? Necessities like vaccinations (not cheap), food, diapers, new clothes every couple of weeks, formula, doctor's visits every week or so for the first few months... Do you have health insurance?

These are just a few things to think about when engaging in sex and not using protection.

[wagsthedog]

"gf does not like the idea of taking any method of birth control besides using condoms"

"well i dont use a condom cause we both dislike them"

Sorry BUT... These are quotes from two of your posts... which is it... either way re-read all of the above!!

[J_9]

well i dont use a condom cause we both dislike them

No one actually ENJOYS wearing condoms. However, wearing a condom for a few minutes prevents changing diapers for a few years.

Now, which one would you choose?

[emo-angel]

Hey have you heard of this implant that last three years and stops the eggs developing so no periods and also u can take it out - downside need a operation the implant goes in the upper arm and size of a match stick hardly notice it and have to remmeber to have it taken after 3 years

[louie1]

I have to ask why does your girl not like contraception?

[J_9]

The implant (norplant) is no longer used in the USA due to some serious side-effects. I had it and had to have it removed because of a so-called recall.

[patrick104]

Thank you for all your responses, I have the answers I need she will talk to her doctor about other methods of birth control as well as the other concerns that you have informed me of, and yes I currently do have a stable job and have been working since I was 18, I'm also planning to go to college as a paramedic, I would also like to note that we have the support of family and friends if she were to become pregnant so babysitting etc if our schedules were problematic wouldn't be an issue, and while we are both not planning for a pregnancy having a child would not be a problem for us

Also I'm assuming those of you who say that we should wait to have a child are concerned possibly because you think were too young to have a child or maybe its because you think we cannot financially afford it, to this all I can say is to open your mind because some young people do have good paying jobs and are mature, I'm 21 I have an excellent paying job, my girlfriend works as well and would continue to work afterwards, perhaps some of you have had bad experiences having children at younger ages, and to your question about changing diapers, I sometimes take care of my two younger cousins since they were very young (several months old) and while I can not and would not compare this to taking care of my own child since your own child is a 24 hour 7 days a week responsibility, ill just say that I am very responsible

And to the question to why she doesn't like condoms, she just finds it more sexually enjoyable to not use condoms and so do I
I also forgot to add that I'm canadian and our health care system covers many different costs

[alkalineangel]

No one is saying that you wouldn't be financially or emotionally ready, we don't know you personally, but you gave the impression in your post that you were not interested in a child yet, and therefore, people could not understand why you were being so careless (for lack of a better word) in the contraceptive department. That's all. I am a young mother (24), so I know people your age can handle a child. Good luck with the doctor.
:o

[patrick104]

Its not that I'm being careless, its just that wed like to minimize the chances of getting pregnant while still being able to enjoy sex without condoms, I'm not sure how else to put it

[J_9]

Wow, Patrick now the story comes out. I know I, for one, was answering your post as if you two were teenagers. Now that you finally posted your ages I see that I could have answered differently. I don't know about the others here, but if I had all of the info up front, I would have give totally different advice.

It is good to hear that you are prepared if pregnancy should happen. It is nice to know that you are mature enough should that day come and that you have a good support system.