[Another_Planet]

Hello Everyone!

I have gotten very good advice here in the past, and now I am in need of advice again.

I have been dating my boyfriend for about 10 months, and I have no doubt that I am in love with him. I have known this for the last 3 months, but neither of us has said it yet. He can be a bit emotionally distant at times and does not express his feelings often. I am sick of keeping it bottled up, but I am 99% sure he will not say it back.

Here's another problem. He is moving away to another continent for a year long contract, and we are not staying together. He is moving in a month. However, we agreed to keep in touch and if we still want to be together a year from then we will look for each other. There's a part of me that doesn't want to break up, I am not ready for it, which is why I want to tell him how I feel and bring up the possibility of a long distance relationship of some sort.

I feel like I should tell him because either way, I will lose him a month from now, and it doesn't feel right to be in a relationship that is unequal. I feel like I am more emotionally invested, so I question whether it is healthy to stay together for the last month if I feel so strongly and have so many feelings bottled up and he doesn't reciprocate. Maybe it is good for him to know because it may start making him think about how he feels about me, and consider staying together. And maybe it's good for me to be honest with him so we can have an honest and open conversation about the relationship and whether it is a good idea to stay together given how emotionally invested I am.

When he told me about him moving, he said "I realize I haven't been able to fully commit myself to you, I am in a rut in my life and something has been holding me back from fully commiting. I have loved a girl before." This is how I know he will not reciprocate, he is simply not ready in his life to love me.

I've come to realize recently that I've never been in love before, not before him, and saying I love you first is such a vulnerable position to put yourself in. I realize I will probably get rejected. Life is short though, shouldn't we tell the ones we love that we love them? On the other hand, why deliberately cause myself the pain of rejection?

I appreciate any insights and perspectives you have

[talaniman]

When choosing between the fear of hurt and rejection, and the expression of love, express the love and all that comes with it. Neither of you is ready for the inevitable changes you must cope with, and adjust too. But the thing is the honest expression.