[evilnina]

I hate my life. I am ugly, and plus I am too short for my age. My mom left me since I was a baby. I never had a chance to see her again. I was really close to my step sisters until my step mother had asked for a divorce. So I use to live with my cousin until she said that she can’t let me stay at her house, but now I live with my dad's friend. I heard that my cousin wants me back but it’s okay that she kicked me out.

So I get good grades in middle school but I’m supposed to be in high school. I get A's and B`s my gpa is a 3.7 but it doesn’t matter because I’m never good enough even though I’m older then my step sisters but one of them is 13 but she's a freshman but I still get better grade than she does and yet they still appreciate her more than me. I’m 15 going to eighth grade but still don’t have anything to wear. My dad won’t let me get a job. I don’t have any school supplies.

I want to be a dentist but I don’t know. I want to be adopted start all over again but I don’t need to be loved. I just want to finishing school and graduate. I need to save money. But how can I save money when I don't have any?

[talaniman]

Sounds really lousy, but keep getting good grades and graduate and it will get better. I doubt they let you get adopted and start over though. Ain't going to happen, so forget that part.

[N0help4u]

Not many 15 year olds have money. You have to be 16 to get hired. You could try doing jobs for people like yard work, cleaning, baby sitting. You are staying with your dads friend but want to be adopted by your cousins family?

[keeks143]

It sounds hard. I know how hard it can be between family, always feeling like you're not good enough and I know that not everybody realises that. You feel like the last choice, a castaway. But don't forget, if you're family didn't want you, why would your parents go through all the pain, struggle and expenses to have you? They brought you into the world, loved you and cared for you, and now you want to leave them for another family that don't know you from adam? Really? I know that it's hard, but things will get better. When you're older you can get a job, scrape together some money and earn a new life. You've worked hard, and maybe the results haven't shown up yet, but they will. Whatever you do don't let the grades drop - that sounds like your key to a future x (brighter)

[joypulv]

I'm very sorry that you grew up so unloved. You say you don't care, but that's just a defense mechanism. Wanting to be adopted probably means dreams of a mom who hugs you when you walk in the door?
My mother didn't leave, but she resented having all 3 of us kids, and was mean and unloving. My dad was sweet and distant.
You can't be adopted, bottom line, unless both parents sign papers allowing it.
And families want to adopt babies or toddlers, not teens.
Tell us how you lost a year or two in school?
You are going into 9th grade next month, at age 15?
Is this in the US?

[louise1928]

This sounds awful maybe contact childline, or social services but it is more likely that you will be fostered than adopted.

[Alty]

Even if your father (sounds like mother isn't in the picture, and hasn't been for a long time) put you up for adoption, it's unlikely that it would happen. You're 15. When people adopt, they usually want a younger child, one that they can raise, mold, and spend a lot of time with. At 15 you're only 3 years away from being an adult. Also, you obviously have a lot of issues, and many people don't want to deal with that sort of thing. Sorry if that sounds harsh, just telling you the truth.

Bottom line, you'd likely go to foster care, even if your father does decided to put you up for adoption. Foster care is horrible. I've had many friends that have been through that system, and they're all messed up because of it. When you're 18, you'll be kicked out of care and left to fend for yourself.

The only advice I can give you is to keep working hard at school, get good grades, and work towards your dream. Only you can change your future. No one else can do it for you.

I wish you the best of luck.