[MadamButterfly]

When we first began dating, my boyfriend suggested that I start working out to tone my body. At that time I was 98lbs, keep in mind that I'm only 5' high, so my weight/height was at a healthy level. Since then I've been doing pilates and mild free weights for upper body... well, the problem is this: I now weigh between 90-93lbs, but my body is much more sculpted. My arms are toned, my thighs and calves are now shaped and defined... everything he wanted... well, now he wants me to gain weight! He says that since I lost the 5 or so pounds, my chest has gone down... admitedly, he's right. I went from a 32C to a B... but, its not as if that was a huge difference...

Well, I'd like your opinion... because, I'm not sure if I should do this, I'm happy with the way I am now, at least, more than I was before. I've done so much to please him, to make myself more attractive to him. My style of clothing changed, I'm growing out my hair, wearing a specific perfume... if he requested it, I complied. But now it seems almost ridiculous... and yet, I'm always second-guessing myself... if maybe I'm just making a big deal out of nothing, if maybe 5 pounds isn't really that bad and I should just do it. After all, I've done so much else for him... :(

[robertsqueen]

You have to do what's right for you. If he really cared he wouldn't be presserign you to change your body for him. That is not right,. and he probably has some self esteem issues himself. I say that you tell him where to go. Also why are you changing your body for him. I can't believe that he wants to gain wait because your breasts shrunk. Honey I am telling you this from the bottom of my heart... you deserve better.

[SouthernBelle06]

I don't know about this guy. It sounds as if he is a control freak and he is taking you down a path to damage your sense of self and your identity in order to please himself. You may be second guessing yourself because of his constant criticisms, no matter how subtle. Now constructive criticism is OK, for it it is done to help you because someone cares, but put-downs and judgments are another thing entirely. Your boyfriend should be your friend as well as a lover and therefore should be complimenting you and building you up. He should give you his support just as your female friends and family would do. He may not be trying to hurt you on purpose. People that are critical of others tend to be critical of themselves and maybe that's just the way his personality is. But you need to tell him that you're happy the way you are and that he needs to cut it out. You are on the right track Butterfly, you need to be happy with yourself more than he needs to be happy with you. Is it possible that he is just unaware of how his comments are affecting you? If so, you need to talk to him about it and bring it to his attention.

[talaniman]

He may be trying to mold you into his own image of what he thinks a woman should look like, and only you can draw the line with what your comfortable with. Don't be shy if it bothers you, tell him or else how will he know how you feel?

[vlee]

Honestly, I'd be damned if I let a guy tell me what clothes I should wear, or what hairstyle or anything else. This guy wants you to be his fantasy of a girlfriend. The problem with that is no one can live up to expectations like that. You'll go crazy trying. You need to do what you want. If he can't deal with that, give him a barbie doll to dress up and get the heck out of there.

[Matt3046]

If you are over 18 send pic to [email protected], and I will let you know.
But there is nothing hotter (at least to me) than an athletic woman.