[sangham]

I was with my ex for a year. We broke up, which was very hard for me to do because he wouldn't accept it. He just wouldn't hear the words. I was saying, 'I'm sorry but I've come here to tell you that I don't want to be with you anymore' and he was trying to hug me and kiss me and kept on changing the subject. Eventually after 2 hours of talking about some of the issues, we got into an argument and I walked out. Then he was texting and calling nonstop, about 40 missed calls and texts that day. It went on like that all week, until eventually I changed my number. Still he kept emailing me and eventually after six weeks I agreed to meet him for a cup of tea.

That turned into a second meeting and before I knew it I was back together with him.

I said I wanted to take it slow and address problems when they arose not get so intense like before. But he seemed to just slip into all the old talk, just as intense and full-on as before.

Well I finished with him again after a couple of months because he had some possessive tendencies which showed themselves again and I found it unbearable.

Again he didn't accept it and was coming round to my house, once he even let himself in when I was asleep. I told him if he came back I would get the police involved.

Anyway the other day I was driving along and he saw me and turned the car around and followed me. We spent some time together and he was saying how much he missed me, and the following day I felt I needed t o explain it as going nowhere but he was clclearly of the belief that we were now back together.

I'm really tired of it. He's sent flowers to my work on 5 occasions when we've been broken up. There's been flowers on the car, notes on the car, notes delivered to work, flowers to my home, emails every single day, sometimes several each day. Also missed calls and texts.

Just to let you know, I don't reply to any of these. I did at the weekend after he followed me in the car as I felt back in the dynamic of it again.

Well, the thing is, with all this going on, I hate to admit it but I miss him sometimes!

I guess I miss all the adoration even though I know that in reality the relationship didn't work.

Still, how can I come to terms with my feelings and get over him?

Thanks

[talaniman]

It would help if you got him completely out of your life instead of rewarding him with time and attention for his bad behavior. Its not your words because he ignores them,its mostly your actions.

So until you stop the stalking behavior he will not stop because you always give in. Yeah, actually call a cop, get a restraining order. But first say NO and stick o it.

[C0bra_M3nace]

A cut won't heal if you keep picking at it.

So as long as this guy is chasing your around and so long as you keep letting him then you're never going to forget him. You should have gotten the police involved a long time ago to be honest.

If he won't take the hint from you then he may need to hear it from a man in a uniform with a shiny badge.