[Fr_Chuck]

I will even defend a few of the hookers and others out there,

Where I live there is no welfare, if you don't have money you don't eat. There are a few free kitchens and charity for homeless but no food stamps, no free medical care ( in US there is free care, if they just show up at government sponsored hospitals, and have to be treated)

A young lady ( this is a true story and I know her) is married, and has a two year old daughter. Her husband is a farmer, he did not finish high school since he was not able to pass the test to stay in high school. There is no GED programs and no high school program he can do, since at this point he is not allowed to go to high school.

He works on a farm, and the farm gives them a small one bedroom apartment to live in, very small, and not good at all. But it is four walls. This girl also works on the farm but in this country she is not a legal person, her parents had her but already had a child So she can not work in many regular jobs, since she does not have work documents. She has to do day labor at lower wages. To buy paper and documents takes more money than she has.
So she has some work during planting and harvest and husband is lucky to have year round work.
Husband makes about 1200 yuan ( 200 US dollars) a month, and she makes about 1000 yuan a month when she works.

So on average since she only works about 6 months a year they make about 1700 yuan a month or less than 300 US dollars a month.

So she goes to the bigger city during the winter months and works for a massage or call service. Since she is not as pretty ( from hard farm work) and has stretch marks from having a baby she can not work at the highest level places,
But she can make perhaps 1000 or more yuan a week after she pays fees for working.
This way, they can even save up money for the child's education, the child can get into a private grade school, get a tutor, they will have money to send the child to college.
They can break the cycle of poverty for their child.

Is it wrong ? And if so, by whose standards,
The system is wrong perhaps, but she has made a choice based on her situation. When asked, she says it is just sex, and since there is no religious bias and sex is just a natural body function, she sees no real issue in it. Her husband misses her when she is gone, her mother helps raise the baby, but he knows she is not falling in love, and is just working to help support the family.

Right and wrong gets into a moral issue, morality is not universal and has to be judged within the society it is happening in.

[dontknownuthin]

My arguments are not based on whether sex is moral. Personally I am conservative in my own behaviors and would not engage in sex outside of a very committed relationship, but I'm not objecting to other people having looser standards for themselves. I don't think it's very healthy, but it's not my decision for other people.

On the other hand, I believe that a woman who is being hurt in her relationship because her partner promises one thing and does another, should not be bullied over being a prude or whatever because she doesn't want her partner oggling other women and going elsewhere for his sexual satisfaction. He's been dishonest with her. She has to take responsibility at this point - knowing he's going to continue using porn, she needs to determine whether to accept it or leave. I don't think she's controlling, however, if she leaves over this issue. Again, while adults have the right to do what they want as Smoothy argues, their partner has the right not to put up with choices that are detrimental to the relationship and hurtful to them. I would argue that there's some value in giving up some of this "my way or the highway" mentality of doing whatever we want in a relationship - more can be accomplished by figuring out what we can give to a relationship than what we can take. I think that's a matter of personal maturity.

I do not support porn and would not have it in my relationship or home for the same reason I do not buy products made by child laborers or otherwise finance industries and practices and organizations which victimize and harm the people who work for them. I view my objections to porn on par with my objections to buying rugs made by children, or wearing a blood diamond on my hand. I think our most powerful vote is how we spend our money, and spending it on porn, to me, is voting on the more base and seedy side of life.

I see no correlation at all between fantasizing over a romance novel in which a fictional character is having sex or admiring a girl at a mall in a short skirt, and supporting a for-profit sex industry. They are not at all the same thing.

[Fr_Chuck]

This has been aswered and the thread has sort of took a life of its own.

We will not decide or change one anothers views on this.

Closed before it goes down hill

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