[tikki14]

I used to be a very active person. I loved to study, to find out new things and to get involved in as many activities as possible. There was a time when I truly believed that if I learned, one day I would become somebody, but now I'm not sure anymore. What's worse, I already made some promises that I'll do my best to accomplish some tasks. It's passed about 4 months and I still haven't start anything. I just don't feel like. I don't see the point. I would go out all day long, sleep, do the unimportant chores, think at random things, spend time on the internet, anything except studying. But the time is flying and I even if I know that someday, many days in the future in fact, I will blame myself and I will bitterly regret my laziness, I still can't apply myself to work. What should I do? Do you know any motivating movies or stories I should read to bring that sparkle that would make me change my mind?

[Wondergirl]

You need to sit down with an unbiased person--a counselor, a mentor, a tutor--someone who will discuss this with you and get you back into gear. Can/Will you find that person?

[tikki14]

Unfortunately I don't think I have any chance to find such person. Everybody who knows me expect so much from me, they just cannot believe me that I can't be who I used to be, they always say they know what's inside me so I should stop worrying, but they really don't, they just put pressure on me.

Regarding counselling, it didn't work and when it did, it was just temporary...

I think all this is triggered by some huge insecurities... I don't know what I want anymore... everything I wanted seems inappropriate...

I have no idea how to regain interest in what I liked to study. I was very keen on maths, I always had the best grades so I started to study it more. I even hired a teacher who has prepared very successful students, but instead of making me understand maths better, she only made more confused about it, she made me realise that I don't know anything, that I struggled for nothing and that I'm not that smart in this field. So, what's the point of trying then? Believe me that I tried not to give up, even now I push myself to work, but if I don't like it anymore it's in vain. I can't move to other fields of studying, I'm actually going to have an exam very soon and I used to pursue a career in science. My parents won't let me change my mind... And even if I could, I didn't know what to choose. I don't know what I want anymore, what fits me and what not... I just feel like going crazy.

[Wondergirl]

Well, I'd call you and be your phone mentor, but I'd probably get kicked off the site for that. Plus, you need someone in your real life, not someone like me who hovers in your Internet space.

How about talking with a teacher you like or one of the school guidance counselors to brainstorm on what to do.

[tikki14]

The counselor from school doesn't have very effective ideas, every time I sought for some kind of help she gave me some answers that I already knew (I surfed the internet first), so I don't think it will help, but I'll try though, I have nothing to lose if I do that.

And there is a teacher that I like... he's pretty funny and I like his style. He's not seen as a very good teacher, but now I realise that he may be the perfect one for me. Even if my present teacher is perfect for other students, she may not teach for my way of learning, so changing the teacher could be a solution. I just hope I will get that results that I want...

Thank you Wondergirl, you are a wonder, really...

[Wondergirl]

And I am always here in your Internet face... ooops, I mean space.