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lacie123 · Mar 19, 2012, 01:32 PM

I am 52 and have been dating a 63 year old man for 3 years. I have expressed to him I want to be married or at least engaged. He is unsure of wanting either. We live 1 1/2 hours apart and weekly meet and go out at a central driving point for both of us. We talk daily on the phone. I broke up with him twice to scare him and came back both times. He lives close to his eldey mother and helps take care of her. I feel that once she passes he will want to marry me because he will be alone. What can t o do to make him to at least buy me a ring?

VirtuousPlume · Mar 19, 2012, 05:35 PM

How about explaining him that a token of your bond together, as a man to a woman, would make you truly happy, and that you want said bond to grow, because every time you would look at your ring, you would feel closer to him, and loved? It may be a naïve suggestion, but I believe all men find it hard to truly grasp the significance such gestures have for a woman. Mature men, especially, may find themselves too cynical about physical demonstrations of love to think deeply about it.

JudyKayTee · Mar 27, 2012, 02:13 PM

You can't do anything to make anybody else do anything. I'd focus more on the relationship, less on the ring. Are you sure you want to marry a man who is interested in marrying you purely because he doesn't want to be alone?

lacie123 · Mar 27, 2012, 04:27 PM

I would think three years would be enough time for him to know. After all, he did come back after I broke up with him to scare him. I really want someone to come home to and talk about my day and ask about his. I don't think our 11 year age difference is an issue.

DoulaLC · Mar 27, 2012, 04:43 PM

Has he voiced a reason as to why he is unsure about making more of a commitment? Can you talk to him about his mother and whether his wanting to take care of her is what has him unsure? Was he divorced or widowed previously? Have you told him that you really want someone to come home to to talk about how your days were?

JudyKayTee · Mar 27, 2012, 04:43 PM

Originally Posted by lacie123

I would think three years would be enough time for him to know. After all, he did come back after I broke up with him to scare him. I really want someone to come home to and talk about my day and ask about his. I don't think our 11 year age difference is an issue.

Is a post missing? I don't know what you are answering.

Apparently three years isn't enough for him to know he wants to marry you, unless it is time enough and he's decided no. Breaking up with people in order to scare them into proposing marriage seems to me to be a very bad idea.

I believe in being straight forward in a relationship. I don't want to have to trick someone into marrying me.

I don't see anyone saying that 11 years (at your ages) is too big an age difference.

You can't make someone love you or marry you - it's as simple as that. I don't want someone, as I said, that I have to trick.