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PatsFanInIndy · Jan 31, 2012, 03:43 PM

My girlfriend has requested for me to give her space and time she needs to find herself. She says she is just really confused and that she loves me but that she doesn't think she is getting her full college experience because she has to worry about me, worry about school, worry about friends, and it is really taking a toll.

We had a long conversation about how our break is going to work and that since I will be back home (we were CD before LD) in about 39 days that no matter what we want to see each other even if it is just to see how the other is doing, getting back together, or saying our final goodbyes.

I have lots of time to think about my life and situation and was just looking to type out some small details and see if anyone else has done this "break" thing. I'm hoping for the best and I have no reason to think it won't. We wouldn't have been together for almost 2 1/2 years, get through all our fights and difference, and just throw it all away due to stress.

Of course, being in an LDR we don't know if everything going on is true but I trust her more than anyone in the world and I believe every word she said to me about just needing the time to miss me (since we talk A LOT every day), she needs time to focus on school (she failed 2 classes last semester), and she just needs to have her social life. I love her to no end and won't be doing anything stupid in the next 37 days for sure. Just wanted to see what you all thought since you all give amazing advice.

Wondergirl · Jan 31, 2012, 03:55 PM

Ninety-nine per cent of the time a "break to find myself" means a permanent break.

She thinks she has to "worry about [you]"? Why is that? Translated, that means she can't date anyone else because she's obliged to remain true to you. If you agree to a "break," she can play the field and avoid feeling guilty ("getting her full college experience"?). If she's in a committed relationship with you, she won't have to confess "infidelities" to you.

Mature couples don't take "breaks." They fish or cut bait. They work together to help each other and improve the relationship.

Trust me--been there, done that, as have many others, as attested to if you read similar threads on this site. She has already decided she wants a permanent break, and this is her way to slide into that by letting you down gently.

PatsFanInIndy · Jan 31, 2012, 05:33 PM

This is just my first LDR (spawning from a CDR) and it's really rough. We got through 5 months but I think what she wants is to go out, talk to guys, flirt, and all that jazz to see if she really wants to be with me for the rest of her life like she has said in the past. It's normal for college freshmen to want to get out, party, and meet new people. So I'm giving her that option because I love her enough to let her go if I have to.. She seems to just be confused with what she wants and I'll give her that time to figure it out. It's a 50/50 shot that I have to take I guess..

Wondergirl · Jan 31, 2012, 07:02 PM

Originally Posted by PatsFanInIndy

It's a 50/50 shot that I have to take I guess..

I'll put money on the 90-10 shot that she has already decided on a permanent break and is letting you down easy.

PatsFanInIndy · Jan 31, 2012, 07:48 PM

I want to believe you but it's hard. I know that you know what you're talking about but everyone's situation is different.. I'll try the NC thing and wait out my time until I'm home and then see what goes from there.

kcthatsme · Feb 3, 2012, 02:24 PM

College is stressful and her life is completely different now. She is making new friends, trying to get good grades and there are many temptations that she will have to endure. Let her grow up and figure things out. If she loves you, she will be back. If not... then it wasn't meant to be. But, irregarless... give her the space she needs. Not much else you can do being so far away right?