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candypink · Dec 27, 2011, 01:55 PM

Hi! I'm in love with a man who is 10 years older than me and he is already married and a father of only 1 child! We love each other very much and he's willing to leave his wife and son to come and live with me.

He no longer loves his wife and says that I'm his only love but he want to keep contact with his son! We fight a lot on this issue and finally he decided that once we live and get married, he'll cut all contact with his son.

I know he really loves me but I just wanted to have an advise. Is this a correct decision? Are we made for each other? I'm confused, please help

Fr_Chuck · Dec 27, 2011, 02:11 PM

What a evil lady you are, first you have an affair with a married man, then you demand he not have any contact with his son. This is completely wrong and he will grow to hate you over it. Of course even if he has no contact, he will have to write a child support check each month.

And of course it will not be long till he has another girl friend that he is cheating with after he is with you, since that is his behavior

Tialuv · Dec 27, 2011, 02:19 PM

Please,please,please run! Take it from someone who has been there.dont do it candypink,ur going to get hurt!! They tried to warn me but i wouldn't listen.i tell u what,if you love him like you say you do tell him to get divorced first then you both can pick up and be involed the right way.if he love you like he say he does then he will understand and come back for u.but please donttt let him have his cake and icecream too,and don't let him string you along.you'll be sorry if u do.

talaniman · Dec 27, 2011, 02:43 PM

What a lousy idea to,

Mess with a married guy
Mess with a married guy with a child
Mess with a guy who would cheat on his wife, and child
Mess with a guy that would not only cheat, but tear up his family and home for a younger chick.
That would agree to having no more contact with either of them.

Never, ever believe his words for one second. He has proved he is a lying cheater, and a user, of his wife, child, and you.

My advice, if you are dumb enough to fall for a lying cheater, don't be dumb enough to believe he is so in love with you that he stops being a lying cheater. He always will be, and you will always be afraid that he is lying and cheating on you. AND YOU WOULD BE RIGHT.

slapshot_oi · Dec 27, 2011, 02:45 PM

You're being played. He's saying one thing and doing another (lol).

This is my take: I'm a strong believer in "now or never". He hasn't left his wife already, so he never will.

Be smart, save yourself from stress and end it.

majrivebroos · Dec 28, 2011, 05:12 AM

What kind of man will cut any contact with his only son? A really bad one. I'm in a similar position,just getting out of a 14 yrs relation with my wife,but I will tell you this,I got 2 kids, and nobody comes before them,he will hate you just for suggest that.My advise to you is simple,let him get a divorce first and then try to win his kid love.Good luck.

Kahani Punjab · Dec 28, 2011, 05:24 AM

Pink Candy,

Welcome to this great site, first!

I agree with TALANIMAN...

And, Candy! Do not be a victim.

"I will forgo my son, once we marry. Are we made for each other?"

NO. Neither I want him to forgo his son, nor do I believe him, because it is all a false assurance (a habit of cheats to convince to do anything what the girl wants). And NO, you are not made for each other, as from what you wrote, there is not even an iota of reflection of that. Why you believe so? Why does he want to break his family? Do you know the real reasons, and his real intention of marrying you? Do not take hasty decisions. Marriage is a sacred bond, based on emotions, socialization, psychologial understanding, intellecutal platform and equity and financial dependence and interdependence and independence. Lot many other issues are involved. Do not be emotional for the time being and spoil your life without taking other issues in consideration. But, but... I do not say you can't be happy with this man. Anything can happen, but we should take maximum precautions and just think about the poor son and wife of that man also.

If he wants you to dance to his tunes, leave him, ignore him. If he really loves you, he will surely bend before you, literally. But, if he wants to twist you round his fingers, do not follow him. He is not a man for you. He is definitely a cheat and a user, and not a lover, if he wants you not to keep any contact with spouse and son. What a man he is!

TwiceBitten · Dec 28, 2011, 02:29 PM

I do not understand why you expect him to cut all contact with his son. If you love him, you should understand that he loves his son and wants to have a relationship with him. In fact, if I were you, I would be concerned if he didn't want a relationship with his son!

You say that he is willing to leave his wife... Why hasn't he done it? How long has he been telling you that? Maybe he is sincere, but maybe he isn't. It is easy to let your feelings cloud your judgement. It is easy to get caught up in a fantasy.

Due to your feelings regarding his son, I think you need to decide if you really want this relationship--are you willing to accept that his son is part of the package? If not, then end it. If you are willing, tell him that you love him and have had a change of heart on that issue. Then tell him to come back when he has left his wife.

vanheart · Dec 28, 2011, 08:47 PM

Never get with someone that's married.

That only reflects on your character. No one else's.

That's just cheating yourself.

Who are you?

JudyKayTee · Dec 31, 2011, 07:48 AM

Just when I think every selfish cheating woman in the World has asked a question (similar question right now on legal board) another one chimes in! If anyone is preaching morals to OP I think it's too late.

I am struck by the words he has only "one child." I guess it makes it difference if he walks away from one or more than one.

My take on this? He did it to her, he'll do it to you.

tigers2 · Jan 1, 2012, 05:05 PM

You were so wrong to get involved with a married man and also has a family.. Trust me if he cheated on her he will cheat on you.. Remember, he was in love with her too and probably still is, he is just attracted to the youngness of you and your body and that is all.. It has nothing to do with you personally.. YOU WILL GET HURT..