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    rupertpupkin123's Avatar
    rupertpupkin123 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 18, 2011, 05:42 AM
    How do you feel about a 21 year old having sex with a 40 year old?
    I am a 21 year old male, involved in a "booty call" type relationship with a 40 year old woman. I like being with an older woman. I'm not looking for a serious relationship at this point in my life. There is no drama, no bs. She likes feeling that she is attractive to a decent looking 21 year old. Its win win.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #2

    Dec 18, 2011, 05:43 AM
    Since you are an adult it is your choice. What is your question?
    rupertpupkin123's Avatar
    rupertpupkin123 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Dec 18, 2011, 05:50 AM
    Q:
    How do you feel about a 21 year old having sex with a 40 year old?
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #4

    Dec 18, 2011, 05:53 AM
    It doesn't really matter how I feel as you are an adult, she is an adult and the two of you are free to do what you choose to do. Other people should keep their opinions to themselves.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #5

    Dec 18, 2011, 07:22 AM
    As long as both of you have the same expectations for the relationship, I see no problems with it. However, as with any 'booty call' relationship, be aware that feelings can change. People enter into these 'fun with no strings' relationships fully intending to keep strong emotions out, but it doesn't always work out that way.

    Since you are asking the question, if it were another couple, how would you feel about it?
    rupertpupkin123's Avatar
    rupertpupkin123 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Dec 18, 2011, 07:47 AM
    I have no problems with it, whether it is me, or another couple. I know that some people could take issue. We are being discreet about the whole thing. Another reason I posted this here, is because it is a no strings attached type relationship. I have nobody else to talk to about this, so I think it is healthy to discuss it here, and possibly hear some good advice.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #7

    Dec 18, 2011, 08:23 AM
    Is she furnishing your nice clothes, a fancy car. I guess I would hope you are getting more out of it than just the sex.

    I don't believe in booty calls personally.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #8

    Dec 18, 2011, 08:36 AM
    In my opinion sex is not recreation. It is something that should only be shared by two people in a long term committed relationship. So, like Chuck, I don't believe in "booty calls".

    But my opinion doesn't count here. I agree with the others that, since you are both adults and mutually consent, its no one else's business.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #9

    Dec 18, 2011, 08:54 AM
    If both of you are comfortable with your relationship I don't understand why you are asking for the opinon of others, particularly if you are 21, presumably an adult, able to make your own choices.

    I wonder why she isn't involved with someone her own age - but that's a side issue.

    I think women mature more quickly than men so I don't understand that aspect of the relationship. I would guess she's established and you are starting.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #10

    Dec 19, 2011, 03:24 PM
    Wait for another 10 or 20 years... bet it doesn't seem like such a great idea to you then... (look at Demi Moore and Ashton
    Kutcher)
    But you are both adults... and capable of making your own mistakes or bad decisions.

    But with an age gap like that... there is no possible way you could have much if anything in common.

    Trust me... been there done that.
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    rupertpupkin123 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Dec 19, 2011, 10:22 PM
    Well yeah we don't have anything in common. She just happens to have a vagina, and I have a penis. We have been very clear what the sex means.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #12

    Dec 20, 2011, 04:17 AM
    Point to think about...

    If you knock her up... its going to get expensive. Because. Despite the best of intentions, and precautions... it happens. And does happen into the 50's.

    That says nothing about the potential of std's.

    Not knocking you (because I did it too in my youth)... just giving you something to think about.
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    rupertpupkin123 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Dec 20, 2011, 09:24 AM
    Thank you, but her tubes a tide. She claims to be disease free. So yea, we are raw doggin it. Thus far no itching or burning, fingers crossed.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #14

    Dec 20, 2011, 09:46 AM
    And you believe her?
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    rupertpupkin123 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Dec 20, 2011, 10:10 AM
    About her tubes being tide? Yes. Why would she lie about that? Why would she want an illegitimate child? Why would she want to be a single mother twice over? What would she have to gain?

    Disease free, I do not know, but I believe her. She is a nice lady.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #16

    Dec 20, 2011, 10:45 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by rupertpupkin123 View Post
    About her tubes being tide? Yes. Why would she lie about that? Why would she want an illegitimate child? Why would she want to be a single mother twice over? What would she have to gain?

    Disease free, I do not know, but I believe her. She is a nice lady.

    Let's see - it's tubed TIED, not tide. Why does anyone lie? Why does anyone want an Illegitimate child? Mistakes happen - nothing is 100%, including a tube tie.

    Why would she want to be a single mother, apparently again.

    Who knows. Wander over to the Family Law Boards and be surprised by what people and want.

    What would she have to gain? I have no idea. I don't know you. I don't know her. We go back to my initial thoughts - she is established in a career and I doubt, at 21, that you are. So it's a strict friends with benefits relationship.

    Are you her first friend with benefits who is this much younger?
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #17

    Dec 20, 2011, 04:16 PM
    Food for thought...

    Condoms are cheaper than diapers!
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #18

    Dec 20, 2011, 05:02 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by rupertpupkin123 View Post
    About her tubes being tide? Yes. Why would she lie about that? Why would she want an illegitimate child? Why would she want to be a single mother twice over? What would she have to gain?

    Disease free, I do not know, but I believe her. She is a nice lady.

    It's "NICE" people that are most often the ones spreading STD's they may or may not know they have. Including AIDS and Herpes.

    And yes... there are people that do it on purpose.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #19

    Dec 20, 2011, 06:17 PM
    She doesn't have to lie. Nature has a way of getting what it wants even when mankind tries to keep it happening.

    Always be careful. Always be aware that as long as both of you have all of your reproductive organs there is a chance, even if it is slim to none, of the seemingly impossible happening.

    I do have to ask if this is just for sex, are you dating other women and working on other relationships? Is she dating other men? A purely physical relationship does not satisfy the natural human emotional needs. What happens if either one of you meets someone who creates a need for emotional as well as physical attachments?

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