[Alston]

I have been with the mother of my twin daughters for 8 years. When we first met I was not interested in her at all. But my brother told me to give it a shot, since I didn't have a girlfriend I was OK with us just talking and also I just wanted to have sex with her nothing more. But as time passed on she grew on me because she would always come around me all the time and do nice things for me.

Everything from then on was great but sometime after finding out that she was pregnant she started to become controlling and very demanding. This was probably the most stressing time of my life because I didn't know how to deal with this situation. Mind you that I don't take kindly to demands and neediness , so in return I ended up treating her bad. I always felt like leaving her but because of my daughters I never did. After 6 years she decided to call it quits and I moved out.

But after I got into a another relationship and things was actually very good, with this other girl, I felt more for and I actually put my heart into being with her. When my kids mother realized this she decided that she wanted to be in a relationship with me again but I was unsure because I knew that I lost feelings for her. She promised that she would change if I come back and I did, but mainly because I wanted to be with my daughters again.

Now things are OK with us but I just don't have the same kind of love for her anymore and I'm really confused as what to do. I talk to her about it but it never goes anywhere. And she stills act the same way like before, what should I do because it is driving me nuts. She wants to get married asap and I'm not sure about that because of the way I feel about her.

I always envisioned myself giving my all into a relationship and for some reason I can't seem to do it in this one with my heart being into it. I want to come to a conclusion because sometimes I feel bad for both of us because we are not experiencing happiness and also I feel bad about ending my other relationship to come back to her.

[talaniman]

Don't get married and leave as soon as possible, so you all can get through this and have a life apart, because you don't want to be with her.

Keep it simple, and be honest.

[vanheart]

I agree. You never wanted to be with her.

Be a single Dad for a while. Concentrate on that. Put your love where it needs to be. With YOu & your kids.

No reason to jump into anything again. Don't repeat.

[LuckyChucky13]

I agree as well. I believe that most of your 'guilty' feelings are due to the kids, and not the girlfriend. By not wanting to be with her you feel like you're abandoning the kids and that is what's eating at you. If you walk away and choose to be without her, you fear that you'll like like a selfish dad in front of the kids when they grow up, so you are left between a rock and a hard place.

However, staying in the relationship will only make you resent her more and it will show in your actions and words towards her as time goes by, and the kids will definitely sense it. In the best of all parties involved, it's best that you end it with her but insist that the kids be a part of your life.

I don't know the girlfriend, so it's hard to make an opinion of her, but it may also be true that you fear that by leaving her again you think she may give you a hard time every time you come around to see the kids and take them out. There are many details that only you know of and the small details are usually the big-picture ones. Your gut feeling is telling you what you need to do... listen to it.

I hope you find the patience to deal with all of this. Good luck.

[Alston]

@Lucky Chucky
I like what you said because it's true she makes me feel like I will be the bad guy for leaving just cause we have kids together. But I know that I will always be there for my kids. But no matter what she will try to manipulate and make me feel bad. Another thing that I do notice is that my feelings do show in my words and action espiecially when she upsets me.