[kamohelo]

I was born 1987 and my mom 1969, I never had a mother daughter relationship with my mom, she always loved the party life style and then she would dump me and my sister with my ill grand mother and our aunts and when she does come visit it will be my younger sister that will get all the bigger and better gifts from her. I got very very close to my grand mother and she is still my number one,anyway my mother came back very sick from her wild life and now the family had to take care of her and welcome her because that is what family is for,then my granny could not take care of us 100% since she is matured and not 100% healthy (we know how it is when they grow old) then we had to go live with my mom when I was in grade seven and my God that is when my life became hell.My dad abused Her then Me sexually and emotionally and she was abusing me verbally , emotionally , physically.I would go to school with no lunch or even lunch money and when it's that time of the month I would not get any cosmetics I needed and it was a habit that every year I don't get my results from school because I would be owing my schoolfees.I remember getting a birthday gift from a friend (my high shool Sweetheart ) and she sold them for hurting me , I needed love and I started dating and because I knew nothing about life because my mother never had a conversation with me besides shouting,cursing and screaming at me, were I was getting comfort I fell pregnant and I had to go back to my granny and the father of my child vernished till today,and my dad died in 2005 and my mom does not want to work so I had to quit school and work for my sister, my son and my mom becoz now she is blamming me for her HIV status I still don't understand why.I am just to miserable,rite now I am taking care of everyone finacially and she is still my worst enemy after what she has done to me and I am still taking that hate from her and still taking good care of her. I can't anymore but what is she going to do and be when I turn my back and forget about her and my sister her queen because I am sure I can afford me and my son very well.I've got a lot to say but its just too much. When is my heart going to smile?Iam not happy not at all.

[Aurora_Bell]

Wow, it sounds like you have had a pretty rough life. I am so sorry your mom feels the need to blame you for her poor decisions in life. In all honestly I think it is time for you to cut loose. I think that your number one priority in life is your son, after all you wouldn't want him to live the same life you were forced to live right? It's your time to break the cycle and move on, be the best mother you can be to your son and be the best person you can be for yourself. YOu are a grown adult, and you must make your decision for YOU and your son now. Your mother is also an adult and chose the life she chose. It's not your responsibility to be the her punching bag for all the resentment she harbours for herself. I think that it would be wise of you to find therapy of some sort. You deserve better and so does your son.