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ap6589 · Feb 6, 2007, 11:36 AM

I started dating a girl in October. The first three weeks went well but after that everything went down hill. We would always argue and break up and get back together, it was crazy. We both have treated treated really badly at times. But neither one of us can let go of the other one exspecially her. I could if she would leave me alone and quit calling me and coming to my work to see me.. She always comes to me when she's upset. I don't know why. I don't know why she comes to me instead of her best friend I work with that is a female. Why does she keep coming back to me, and why am I the first person she comes to when she is upset?

valinors_sorrow · Feb 6, 2007, 11:54 AM

First of all, you can't be breaking up and getting back together after only three weeks of dating-- you are on again and off again dating instead. Relationships that require being broken up from take a much much longer time to build. So you really have this thing misunderstood from the gate.

Secondly this is about power, personal power and communication and how both of you are very inexperienced with those. Obsession is a condition of youth that most people outgrow so don't worry, time will help you out here. However, in the meantime know this: You could end this if you wanted to. But you don't really want to-- its fun to be learning so much, isn't it?

But the old saying goes that if you don't know where the brakes are then you ought not get on the tobaggan! This is your opportunity to find the brakes and I have confidence in you that you can. And begin to learn how tell yourself (and others with some caution) more truthful stuff. And go slower, A LOT slower too, LOL. That way you might get further along in your next "dating situation" than three weeks of it going well.

sleepinbeauty · Feb 6, 2007, 12:10 PM

Originally Posted by ap6589

I started dating a girl in october. The first three weeks went well but after that everything went down hill. we would always argue and break up and get back together, it was crazy. We both have treated treated really badly at times. but neither one of us can let go of the other one exspecially her. I could if she would leave me alone and quit calling me and coming to my work to see me.. She always comes to me when shes upset. i don't know why. I don't know why she comes to me instead of her best friend i work with that is a female. Why does she keep coming back to me, and why am i the first person she comes to when she is upset?

Because she loves you. Its easier to be upset with the person you love because you know that they will always forgive you.

ap6589 · Feb 7, 2007, 12:05 PM

Originally Posted by ap6589

I started dating a girl in october. The first three weeks went well but after that everything went down hill. we would always argue and break up and get back together, it was crazy. We both have treated treated really badly at times. but neither one of us can let go of the other one exspecially her. I could if she would leave me alone and quit calling me and coming to my work to see me.. She always comes to me when shes upset. i don't know why. I don't know why she comes to me instead of her best friend i work with that is a female. Why does she keep coming back to me, and why am i the first person she comes to when she is upset?

I know she loves me and I love her we just need tim to get things worked out and I don't want to be mean about it. What can I do