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stingrayrach · Oct 11, 2011, 11:09 AM

I met a guy last week and we had a date, we kind of flirted on the net before meeting, I am 30 and he is 23 but likes the fact I'm older. He has only been single for 3 months so I didn't hope for anything from this just maybe some fun.

So we ended up having sex and it was amazing, the next evening he contacted me and we ended up meeting the next two nights also. I have met a couple of his friends and he also told me his mom knows about me as he was telling he all about me, he also said he doesn't know if he is ready for another Girlfriend yet but also that he would only really have an older girlfriend now like someone my age and we laughed about this.

Now we are still in touch and still flirting, I have told him I want to get to know him better and that also the sex is amazing and he and he said I can get to know him all I like and that it is incredible. He has also said before that he really likes my company. We plan to do something soon however he does not seem in a massive rush.

I guess what I would like to know is can something more come out of this or am I being really unrealistic?

I have had very long relationships that have started from amazing sex but I was younger then. I think he is funny and clever and already know I am going to fall for this guy.

Should I maybe back off and see if he comes to me more?

hidden123 · Oct 11, 2011, 01:08 PM

Hold back. You said he is not in a rush. By holding back you save yourself a heartache and also, in case, there's a chance - you're not pushing him. Either way. Hold back.

talaniman · Oct 11, 2011, 05:04 PM

The only way to know if this is going somewhere is to explore the other areas of human contact besides just the sex. To be fair, he told you he may not be ready for a relationship, and has only been single for 3 months. Lust fades, love grows but be cautious, because you already have ignored a few red flags, and are smitten after that amazing sex.

So far you have gotten what you want, FUN, so don't complicate it with wanting, or expecting more. And please don't expect him to feel the same as you just because the sex is amazing. A 23 year old guy loves sex, just for SEX! Heck most guys of any age does.

stingrayrach · Oct 11, 2011, 05:36 PM

So I guess I should just leave this situation, I have dated many guys since being single for a year now, some I have slept with after a while of dating and they have then faded away, others I didn't sleep with and they also vanished even after seeming very interested.

Just feel like giving up. I can't seem to get it right.

hidden123 · Oct 12, 2011, 06:47 AM

You Can't give up :) Just keep on moving forward. Trust me - things can always get worse. Be thankful for things you have. It will happen :) - but you can't forse it. None of us can. Do not make him your priority. I agree with Tali - men can just enjoy sex for sex - doesn't mean there's an attachment. But - don't over think it! Just have fun! And you can date him and also date other guys. If you're not exclusive - just have fun :)

talaniman · Oct 12, 2011, 08:21 AM

You are hardly alone in thinking that getting with, or meeting someone and having fun, AND great sex is a promise for more. We all go into it thinking that it's the beginning of a life time of joy. We can't help it, we are human.

But don't be discouraged at all. Be more practical, take more time for having fun getting to know others, and don't be so quick to enjoy sex so you are not distracted by the good, healthy, lustful feelings.

Then you won't rush in with high hopes and crash and burn when its not as good as you thought. Sex stirs up a lot of intense feelings, and feeds those other desires as well. Then poof, reality sets in when the lust fades.

Too much, too fast, crash and burn.

Go slow, enjoy the journey, and keep your heart safe, and your options open, and a balanced happy life is the key to that.