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Ana.Parker · Sep 25, 2011, 01:02 AM

Hi am Ana, am 16 years old and my boyfriend is 17 years. Last year he proposed me and after seeing that he really cares for me I accepted the proposal and everything was going fine in our relation. But suddenly his relatives saw us walking together and spread gossips about us. He is getting a lot of problems at home and his mother told him to leave me. To avoid those problems he left me and says that he wants to concentrate in his studies. Whenever I ask if he loves me he says he is fed up with z f**king problems in his life and leave him alone. Am totally shattered when we loved each other so much and for no reason we had to break up. I can't even talk to his parents and neither mine because in my country we must talk about marriage after 18 years. But am scared because I am waiting for him and he never comes back and without telling me anything he goes away from me. I love and I will always love him and I don't want to love anyone apart from him because I know that I will never b able to love another guy. I can't even talk with him because he doesn't want to talk about this now.Please tell me what can I do? Am really disturbed and depressed about him. I can't even concentrate in my studies an I have exams. Please help me friends! What can I do to make him love me and fight with his parents to get me..

talaniman · Sep 25, 2011, 09:44 AM

To avoid those problems he left me and says that he wants to concentrate in his studies. Whenever I ask if he loves me he says he is fed up with z f**king problems in his life and leave him alone.

He has told you to leave him alone, and that's what you do. I understand your disappointment, and frustration, but you must let it go, and concentrate on what's important. This is a battle best left for when you are 18, NOT now. You will heal, if you accept he is not ready, willing, or able to fight for anything right now, and has little choice, but to obey his parents. AS DO YOU!

Sorry, but that's the way it is at your ages. Accept it for now, deal with your own feelings of loss in a mature way, and be ready in the future.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 25, 2011, 05:50 PM

You can't make a person love you or want to fight their parents for you.
School and peace are his priorities which are not bad ones.
Accept it that he is gone and you concentrate on school as well

looks · Sep 26, 2011, 07:05 AM

Wow you guys are way to young I got with my husband at 16 but we did not get married until 23 now going on 18 years but it does not always work out that way .with that said education and planning for your future should be more important to you at this age however it is sad because at your age all you want is to find love (trust me) love will come latter you think you found love & you could never find love like this so on that is just your age.
I say for get about the relationship keep yourself busy get a job go to church you do not need to even be thinking a about making someone love you or thinking about getting married is crazy I know this is not what you want to hear :(.

Ana.Parker · Sep 26, 2011, 11:43 PM

Thanxx a lot for your answers..!

Yes I know that I must concentrate on my studies and this is what am trying to do but all the time he comes to my mind because he made me so attached to him that I can't forget him. Once before I decide to go out with him I asked if his parents won't accept me, he replied that his parents will accept anyone for him but now when I ask him he forgot that. At first I didn't love him because my mom told me to love one boy and to stay only with him for my whole life. That's y I thought well before going out with him even if am too young. I didn't love him at first to see whether he loves me or not but he did all that he could to win me.

But now when I think of ending our relation forever and start a fresh life am afraid if later he comes to me and am afraid if I keep on waiting and he never comes.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 27, 2011, 05:41 AM

You don't sit and wait in the chance that someone will come back. He is not the only young man in the world and you are young, you have plenty of time to find that special person. Let him go, concentrate in your studies. The other things will take care of themselves. Just as he came along, someone else will as well.

Ana.Parker · Sep 27, 2011, 11:43 PM

I really can't overcome this situation as everything was fine and suddenly he said' am leaving you'
Am really broken dear.

But what if I get another special person in life then later he comes back to me after his studies?

Homegirl 50 · Sep 28, 2011, 05:45 AM

Honey if you ave a special person in your life that you care about, you won't care if he comes back. You will no longer be stuck on him.
I doubt very seriously that he will come back.
You are not always going to feel this way about this young man. He will move on and so will you.

Ana.Parker · Sep 28, 2011, 11:21 PM

You that's right he dumped me and I have to accept that he was not the right one for me.
Thanks a lot dear.

Am going to move on and forget him.
I bet I will live my life much better than him
I curse him of breaking my heart all of a sudden and to ruin my life.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 29, 2011, 09:06 AM

While this situation broke your heart, he made a decision that was best for is life. That was not fighting with his parents and concentrating on his studies. That was smart.
I don't think it was his intention to hurt you. Decisions can often be painful.

Ana.Parker · Sep 30, 2011, 12:17 AM

It's too painful dear, how can people separate true lovers??
They were also lovers then why they don't understand our love??

talaniman · Sep 30, 2011, 08:57 AM

There is a big difference from having true love as a 16 year old, and having true love as a grown mature woman, who is independent and free to share her heart with someone that feels the same way.

You will see. After you have healed, and the anger is gone.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 30, 2011, 12:57 PM

This young man left you. His parents may have spoken to him about it but his need for peace and his desire to complete his education over ruled what he felt.

You two are young and what you feel now is young love that can be easily moved.
Stop fantasizing over lost love and work on your studies, go out with friends. You will soon see this is not the end of the world.

lucille1414 · May 28, 2012, 12:01 PM

I got engaged at 16 too, he was my first everything. When he left it shattered my world. But not loving another man is a lie. You will. And I know we say things we don't mean to each other and he didn't just fall out of love with you. He's stressed. He's confused. Just be his best friend right now, help him get through this drama.