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Ilovemybf · Aug 31, 2011, 01:21 PM

Okay so I've been with my boyfriend for 2 yrs & 3 months. We have been through so much & are still a strong relationship. I just get upset at the fact he never calls me. I always have to be the one to call him. He is the first one to text me but I just want him to call me out of random like my friends boyfriends do. Mine just doesn't call & it really upsets me.. Ive confronted him about this and all he tells me is that it's just not his nature & he'll change. But its been a year and there's no change & it really frustrates me.. Idk whts going on. He is very loving and a great man I really love him and all but I just want him to start calling me ou of random and me having to be the first one to call. & the worse part is every time I ask if I can call him or if he can call me through Facetime he makes an excuse that he's eating,cooking,etc but yet he can still text. Idk what to do! Help!

talaniman · Aug 31, 2011, 03:44 PM

Why can't you accept he hates it so much that he won't change?

Ilovemybf · Aug 31, 2011, 09:50 PM

Well the thing is, he told me he loves talking on the phone, which I don't understand, because if he did, he would call me, and not make excuses so that confuses me? :confused:

odinn7 · Aug 31, 2011, 09:53 PM

Some guys, myself included, HATE to make phone calls. I don't mind talking on the phone but for some reason I absolutely hate making the call. Maybe, if he's good to you in all other ways, you should cut him some slack for this as it's not really that big of a deal.

talaniman · Sep 1, 2011, 09:49 AM

I think he likes the attention of getting phone calls, but hates to make them himself. I also suspect he is the type to always be busing doing things, and maybe you should be also, as if he misses or wonders about you he WILL call, and if he doesn't, then you will know that you are NOT his highest priority. So you adjust, and don't make him YOUR highest priority.

Sometimes we are so into someone, we fail to see that they may NOT be as into us, and thats a very valuable fact to find out, so we can make a decision about what we do about it.

When words, and actions don't match, don't be confused, GET THE FACTS.

Ilovemybf · Sep 1, 2011, 06:18 PM

Thanks so much everyone or your help. Every one helped (:

wonderlife · Sep 2, 2011, 09:35 PM

It's maybe really who he actually is (hating to make a phone call) or maybe just an excuse he made... I don't know.

The thing is never or rarely calling a girlfriend in my book is not the bahavior that I can accept it...

But for you, it's really up to you whether this's something you can be OK with, comparing with other good and bad qualities of your boyfriend.

Ilovemybf · Nov 10, 2011, 08:52 AM

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 yrs & 6 months. We're very close as in we text 24/7 & are always talking.. but lately things have changed & it seems to me that he has changed too.. I really love him very much and I know he loves me too, but I'm a sophomore in high school, and he's a junior. He says that he doesn't have so much time for me because he has too much homework to deal with and mostly he has too much to do to get into a good college and give me a good future.

Hes always so busy writing essays that he never calls me and when we text there's no conversation. What really made me mad was how when a new video game came out he pushed everything aside to play video games nonstop and even pushed me aside, and all he ever talks about is how happy and excited he is with his new game.

I definitely feel replaced, and heartbroken he's never been that excited and happy when it had to do with me, and when I talk to him about this he says that I've brought it up too much, and he's just not going to talk about it.

He says that I have to understand and be supportive of him being a junior and stuff. I do try but I get depressed seeing that he doesn't even think of me at all. I don't want to lose him, but I don't know what to do..

mmresd · Nov 10, 2011, 01:04 PM

He has goals and he has determination, normally those things are admired by females. You have two choices, you either get accustomed to how this guy is and ride with him to success, or you don't and you will become an obstacle for him to get to where he wants in life. The choice is yours. Support him if you can. Also, you get mad at him for playing a video game whenever he spends all of his time studying and planning not only for his, but for the future of both of you guys?

kcomissiong · Nov 11, 2011, 09:02 AM

I'm sorry to be a bit blunt here, but you tow are in high school. That he DOES have more important things to focus on than a relationship right now, and so do you. You both should be preparing for college and a career and with activities and schoolwork, you may not have the time for each other that you want. Are you suggesting that he sacrifice those things to spend the amount of time with you that would make you happy? Do you think he should stop taking time to do things that he enjoys? The answer is no, and neither should you. What do you do outside of your relationship?

MMresd is right. You either have to decide to be supportive while he works towards his goals (and work towards your own) or back off from this relationship. At this point in your lives, you have greater priorities. Your relationship will always continue to change and grow, and will never be the way that it was in the beginning. If he is going away to school, there is a chance that you will be separated. What then? Continue to enjoy your relationship, but see it for what it is.. a relationship between two people who's lives are getting ready to change in a major way. Your relationship will change with it. Either accept these changes and be supportive, or decide that you want more from your relationship than he can give and move on.

talaniman · Nov 11, 2011, 10:49 AM

The girls back in my day use to dump us for that kind of crap he is putting you through, because he is using your feelings to justify ignoring you, and taking you for granted.

Giving love and support is a two way street, NOT you love and support he he does nothing. You better set him straight, nicely of course, or he gets what he wants for his ego, and you get put back as an option, below video games or whatever else he thinks is more important.

Either he makes time to make you feel happy, and appreciated, or dump his selfish butt. You should never be so afraid to lose someone who treats you like crap.

He does it because you allow it.