[aaronsluve]

Me and my boyfriend have been having sex for almost a yr now but we have been together for 3 yrs but the only problem I'm having is ever time we have sex he has orgasms but I don't so could someone please tell me what the problem is.

[letmetellu]

It could be many things, first thought would be how soon does he have an orgasm. Next what all has he done to you to get you ready for sex. And then he may not know where all of your buttons are. If not you need to tell him or show him...

[seanmikel]

It could be many things, first thought would be how soon does he have an orgasm. Next what all has he done to you to get you ready for sex. And then he may not know where all of your buttons are. If not you need to tell him or show him........

EXACTLY!!

If you're comfortable with yourself and your sexuality, you've got to let him know what makes you feel good... and once he figures it out, tell him to keep doing it!!

[Lord_Darkclaw]

You've got to tell him which buttons to press! Try taking his hands in yours and show him where and how you want to be touched.
He won't be offended! Women don't come with an instruction manual so you have to demonstrate. :-)

[laylow80]

Tell him you need more foreplay, and tell him what feels the best. Basically just listen to what letmetellu said. :-)

[kp2171]

the design of the man and the woman are so different. I've said this before here.

take the guy. A fav line of mine - you can find his primary errogenous zone blindfolded and with oven mitts on... not that I'm into that kind of thing. =) point is you know how to find it every time and its just not too diffucult to figure out. Yes, there are other errogenous zones on a mans body, and stimulating these also will help bring on an orgasm and some things feel better than others, but lets face it... pretty much you know what to do. Some forward and back movement that pulls some skin over the glans usually does the trick.

the woman's body is a little more complicated. Yes, you can learn where the c1itoris is from any anatomy book or from that kid stewie on the playground who knows all about sex in 7th grade... but what to do with it? Not to mention the g spot...

yes... yes... I know what you are supposed to do with it... sort of. Why sort of? Well... one girl absolutely demanded strong, direct clitoral stimulation. The next would whack you on the head as it was too sensitive. One loved strong breast stim at the beginning. Another only liked it at the end to push her over the edge.

in my experience, if I approach sex as a means to get myself off, I can do it and never, ever come close to getting the girl there. The guys simply has it easy much of the time.

take missionary position... the forward and back motion is what feels great to the guy, especially in the beginning. The longer you go, the less sensation you feel. Now this doesn't mean a guy can't hold back, it means the sensations change and you need to be able to deal with it. Also, for the guy it's the sliding in and out motion that feels great, where the girl might like this but also need rocking over the c1itoris and pressure toward the pubic bone or to the side labia or angled friction over the g spot. The guy on top distributes his weight over a bigger area and there's less pressure where you might need it.

so what about you on top? This might get pressure where you need it because you can control it more. Honestly, my partner hardly has ever gotten to orgasm missionary with any partner. She likes it, but it doesn't usually hit the spots she needs. On top she can control it more.

from behind he might hit your g spot more, but there's no c1itoral stim. If you don't reach down and self stim, it might go nowhere.

not to mention that your head needs to be in the right place. If I really want to get my partner off, oral sex is the best bet. But there are times when I'm doing "all the things she likes" and I can tell its going noplace. Why? Mentally she's not there. She's interested, but she's not lost in the moment.

the biggest thing is you need to find out what makes you feel good. That might take some self stimulation, that might take some different things. Sometimes its just a matter of varying the different stimulations over time to build up. Neck, ear, breast, thigh, fingers, mouth, etc... all areas that can be stim at different times to keep changing the sensations. But if you don't know what you like, how's he going to know?

then tell him what you want. Help him learn. It may not feel sexy at first to be giving direction, but open communication about sex is key. I've been lucky to have partners who were open and willing to talk about their likes and dislikes. They were selfish enough to drop their inhibitions and be open about it.

so if its not working for you, you need to do something differently, or he needs to do something differently, or both of you... and most likely its both of you. Don't be frustrated. My favorite position never, ever got my partner off for a couple of years. She knew it was money for me, but finally realized if she self stimulated during and put her ear to my lips at the right time she could climax sometimes right when I did. It went from going-along-for-the-ride to a pretty powerful thing when it works for her. Doesn't every time, but sometimes is better than never.

have fun exploring your body and helping him to know it better.

[greyraven]

^_^ My advice to all ladies in this extremely common situation

GET THYSELF A HUGE VIBRATOR! ^_^

LOL don't worry, you don't have to put it INSIDE! Play with it and you'll see.

I recommend the big ones. For me the little cute vaguely penis-shaped ones did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Good luck and have fun!

GR