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Susan1335 · Aug 3, 2011, 06:40 PM

I found three phone numbers for adult massage parlors in my husband's phone. We got married about 5 months ago and I immediately got pregnant, but had to leave the country for military service for a few months. He swears he did not go to them. The phone numbers were not at all hidden from me, especially since we shared the same phone. I checked his credit card and debit card statement, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. We have great sex and get along wonderfully (except for this). He says he was just tempted, but three phone numbers are excessive, I guess.. I don't know! But he certainly doesn't like to talk about it. Did he do it?? I found three phone numbers for adult massage parlors in my husband's phone. We got married about 5 months ago and I immediately got pregnant, but had to leave the country for military service for a few months. He swears he did not go to them. The phone numbers were not at all hidden from me, especially since we shared the same phone. I checked his credit card and debit card statement, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. We have great sex and get along wonderfully (except for this). He says he was just tempted, but three phone numbers are excessive, I guess.. I don't know! But he certainly doesn't like to talk about it. Did he do it??

ma0641 · Aug 3, 2011, 08:12 PM

Can you tell when the numbers were entered on the phone? We're not mind readers here. "Did he do it?" 50/50 chance. I'll say yes and he paid cash.

joypulv · Aug 3, 2011, 09:24 PM

So you get married, leave the poor guy home alone, come home and start snooping?
And then go online with total strangers, thinking we know what he did when you were gone?
He didn't hide anything.
He says he didn't do anything.
I would have about faced right out the door if I were him.
If you are going to spend your marriage being suspicious and accusative, AND not believing your spouse when you have no reason not to, I predict trouble.

chachi1230 · Aug 3, 2011, 10:00 PM

I say give him the benefit of the doubt. You can't prove anything and you will drive him away and drive yourself crazy trying to fill in the blanks. There is no relationship without trust. You didn't say how long you were a couple before marrying. This relationship is the baby stages. I hope it survives.

Susan1335 · Aug 3, 2011, 11:09 PM

Thank you. I'd like to trust him. I don't feel like I was snooping since we were sharing phones and one of the prostitute's phone numbers were titled "mass assage" in his phone, then two others are known prostitution places and he had the names right in the phone. I feel bad that I had to leave, but we both knew the deal when we got married, I was deployed. He (unhappily) lets me search his credit card and such so I can have a peace of mind. I will look through his phone records too. We only knew each other for a year and a half before marrying, but we are so smitten! Btw, he's 9 years younger than me. He's 23. Thank you chachi and anyone else for input.

redhed35 · Aug 3, 2011, 11:25 PM

Perhaps he's looking for permission not forgiveness?

I'm just throwing it out on the table, if the numbers were on full view, not hidden from you, perhaps this is him trying to suss out the situation, how you would feel about it.

Doesn't mean he has done anything, only that a serious conversation needs to take place.

Talk it out, trust needs to be there on both sides.

Susan1335 · Aug 4, 2011, 08:10 AM

OK, I went through the phone bill (which he had previously given me the password for so I could pay when he was gone) and there were no numbers anywhere for the places that were in his phone. I still am suspicious since the names, phone numbers and addresses were all in his phone. And three different places? That's just weird to have without actively using them. I guess I don't have to understand to trust he didn't do it. Thank you everyone for the input!