[goldengirl]

Well where do I start. I've been married to my husband for 3 years and we have known each other for 11. About a year or so ago when I was 4 months pregnant I received a phone call from a woman saying she was f**king my husband. Nice... I know... just what I needed at the time!. Apparently he called a singles line & chatted up this woman who ended up being sico. She demanding money from my husband or she threatened to tell me what he did. My husband told her she was nuts nothing happened so I got the call. I was devastated when I got the call. I didn't get it. We were so close & happy. A lot of people that we knew looked up to our relationship & wished that they had the same connection. My husband said he was just checking it out... that it wasn't a big deal... bla... bla.. bla. They just talked. We worked through it... I took it as he did a stupid thing... we all screw up sometimes. It took about a year to finally fully trust him again. He swore he would never do this to me again. How he loves me so much & I mean the world to him.

About 4 months ago I had a strange feeling something was up. I checked his email & caught him in the act... can you believe this!! He was flirting with this girl... apparently a friend he knew from his past. Saying things like, "let me know when you can sneak away as long as you can keep a secret from my wife" I confronted him when he got home... he denied it at first. Then said it was nothing... he was just goofing around. He said it was a stupid thing to do... how he loves me so much & I'm the one for him. He promised he would never do it again I mean too much to him.

It's affecting everything in our life right now. I've lost the passion & trust that I've had for him. I feel so angry & betrayed. I do still love him, I want my marriage to work... He's been trying so hard to make things better. What do I do?

Please Help

Golden Girl

[RubyPitbull]

If you want to try to save your marriage, you both need to go to marriage counseling/couples therapy together. The fact is, your husband has betrayed and lost your trust. It has created much unhappiness for you both. If he truly loves you and wants to save the marriage he will go to counseling with you without an argument.

Sweetie, I cannot tell you how sorry I am that you are hurting like this. He needs to understand that what he did was very selfish, hurtful and it was a betrayal of your marriage vows. Do not allow anyone to make you think this was in any way your fault. If something was missing or he needed more sex or thrills, he should have been speaking with you about it instead of going to strangers. A counselor will help your husband understand that what he is doing is very destructive to you both.

I hope this helps.

[popsinflorida]

I'm The Wife... I Am Married Fifteen Years... my Response Is This... of Course You Still Love Him,he Is Your Husband And Father Of Your Baby... but... this Does Not Sound Good At All. It Sounds Like There Is More To His "flirting". I Think Once The Trust Is Violated, The Trust Is Gone(no Matter How Hard You Try To Overcome It)it's Gone... maybe You Should Let Him Know That This Is Not A Baseball Game Where Three Strikes And Your Out-this Is Your Marriage

[babigirl1]

We all mess up. Counseling is a very good idea. But we all know men have a hard time going to therapy than girls. I have been married for almost 8 years and my husband got hooked on drugs and lied to me for years about it. When I caught him red handed. I threw him out and he was gone for 9 months. I never in my life thought I could ever trust him nor did I ever think I could love him as I once did, but he got his self clean and has been home for 6 months now. I don't trust and love him like I once did. But as the days go by he gives me reasons to trust and to love him again. Hun if you want this marriage to work than you both have to put 100 % into it and if he won't than you have to stop trying. Trust is what makes a relationship. It is what we build one on and you need to let him know how this is making you feel. If he won't go to therapy than you go by yourself. One person in a relationship going to therapy will help and maybe he will start going with you. Good luck. But I do know you can learn to trust again. But it takes both of you in order for you to get back what you once had and he needs to know this.