[asultani]

Hi there. I basically would like some help and advice on what to do. My older brother who is 24 keeps threatening me that if I keep coming home at late times, he's going to 'send me back to the creator' ergo, god. He is always rude to me, always picks on me, literally, he's a bully. I am not scared of no one, have never been bullied on in my life and, my brother, he says I'm not his sister no more.

Partly it is my fault, I always am partying but, not really. Yes, I do party and come home at late hours of the night but, that's maybe because I don't want to be at home always known for causing havoc, that's what they say. I used to have serious problems with my parents but, now they don't really bother.

They know I'm really scared of my older brother so, they'd call him and tell him if I'm going out or, coming back at late times. I love him obviously because he's my brother but, I don't want to be in his way. He puts me down and, makes me depressed. He don't live with me but, he visits all the time and, I feel scared in my own house and, haven't told my parents about what he says but, they know he's always coming to scream at me or, do something to me when he comes round.

Even outside on the roads I feel scared if I was to bump into him. He's ruined my life. Please help with advice. I don't want him to go to prison or, nothing, I don't blame him, especially coming from a muslim background and, to have your little sister going out and coming home at late times, he has every right to worry but, he's just too extreme and I have tried buckling down but, he still picks on me and has made my life hell.

I just want to go far away from him, where he can't find me.

[talaniman]

I think you try harder to adjust your behavior so your parents don't have to call your brother to discipline, and threaten you, and also talk to your parents as to why you do what you do and the way you do it.

I don't think he likes your behavior, and will do what he has to to change it, so makes sense to change those things yourself as clearly running around to all ours of the night is against the rules of your household, and your parents are sick enough of it to give your brother permission to step in for them.

I don't know your age, but most teens are as rebellious as you, and sometimes when they don't do as they are told, they either can leave, or obey.

I hope you obey until you have your own place and are responsible to yourself, and are free to do as you wish. I hope you remember when you have your own rebellious daughter, how your parents, and your brother must have felt dealing with you, and understand the concern you put all of them through with your actions, and behavior.

[HurtScorpio]

It appears that your parents have given up on discipline so your brother felt the need to take over but what he is doing is harassing you. You probably are a teen if you are with your parents so if you are out drinking and partying, why not stop so you do not need to worry about his wrath? Tell your parents what he is doing and start focusing on the life you need to be living to be successful. You have plenty of time to party when you are 21 and over. It sounds like there may be some other things you may be leaving out such as the "serious problems" you used to have w/your parents and why is your brother saying you are no longer his sister. What behavior justifies that verbal abuse. Sounds like you need some therapy and you need to stop the partying. Otherwise, this is just going to continue.

[Pleasehelpme411]

There's different ways you can approach this. For one, I in a way understand why he might be over protective, depending on how old you are, if your 20+ its really none of his business. But if your under 18 or 18, I see how he might not like you going out late. I myself would be a little protective, worrying about what might happen to you, worst case scenario but a person should never think like that.
As for the part him saying your not his sister, and him bullying you, putting you down, screaming at you. I honestly don't see a reason for him to be doing that, in no part of a family's time should they consider themselves not related for such a selfish reason. All I know is, don't retaliate.
Another way is try talking to your parents saying how he puts you down and doesn't see you as a sister anymore. If they are caring enough(which I'm sure there is a parent in all of us) They will either 1.. Talk to him about his behavior. 2.. Talk to him about his behavior and give their own opinion on your staying out late all night. I'm sure your parents aren't comfortable with that either. But I see your brother, a lot of that anger being unnatural, and cruel. (UNLESS: of course your doing something to cause him to yell at you so much) I see no other reason. Maybe he's bipolar?

Maybe he's insecure about himself, so he has to pick on others(in this case being you) to make himself feel better. This also being another depression symptom.

But I see you talking to your parents in the near future as I recommended. That is all I can really advise. If it gets too aggressive and you feel unsafe, its probably in your best nature. If parents aren't helping you. Maybe try to change a little. Family comes first, try to give them the freedom not to worry about you as often as they do.

Hope this helped. Good luck!

[asultani]

Thanks a lot for the advice . I am trying to turn to my deen where I can find peace. I feel gutted that I realised late I just read what I had wrote about my brother and its really sad for me to be writing things likke that about him. My brother got into a fight recently and he was hurt really bad and hant visited the house maybe because he's ashamed and embarrassed for the things he used to say to me ' he isn't scared of no1' and his ego just dropped he's in pain and shock and his girlfreind told me he's trying to sort his life out so 1 thing I've learnt is no matter what happens I never want to put my family through misary and what goes around comes around thank you so much I totally forgot about this me writing for advice and its good to see what others have to say

[asultani]

Thanks a lot for the advice . I am trying to turn to my deen where I can find peace. I feel gutted that I realised late I just read what I had wrote about my brother and its really sad for me to be writing things likke that about him. My brother got into a fight recently and he was hurt really bad and hant visited the house maybe because he's ashamed and embarrassed for the things he used to say to me ' he isn't scared of no1' and his ego just dropped he's in pain and shock and his girlfreind told me he's trying to sort his life out so 1 thing I've learnt is no matter what happens I never want to put my family through misary and what goes around comes around thank you so much I totally forgot about this me writing for advice and its good to see what others have to say and yes I think I may sign up to a therapy class.

[asultani]

Thanks a lot for the advice . I am trying to turn to my deen where I can find peace. I feel gutted that I realised late I just read what I had wrote about my brother and its really sad for me to be writing things likke that about him. My brother got into a fight recently and he was hurt really bad and hant visited the house maybe because he's ashamed and embarrassed for the things he used to say to me ' he isn't scared of no1' and his ego just dropped he's in pain and shock and his girlfreind told me he's trying to sort his life out so 1 thing I've learnt is no matter what happens I never want to put my family through misary and what goes around comes around thank you so much I totally forgot about this me writing for advice and its good to see what others have to say. My brothers a weird character at the age of 18 he went to prisionwas sent for 5 years and when he came out its only been a year , I dotn even remmeber him normal because obviously wheni did know him I was really young

[asultani]

And id say prison has changed him he's become more quiet doesn't socialise with other people and if he was too he woud speak with a negative response. He talks a lot of sense though he's good at preaching he don't show his emotions either but other than that he's just changed proper

[Loveeyouu]

Coming From A Girl Who's Also From A Muslim Backround. And Who Gets In Trouble Just For Coming Home With My Mates On The Way Back From School. I'm Not Scared Of My Brother But I'm **** Scared Of My Causing And He Only Lives Down The Street. I'd Be Careful If I Was You Cause Big Brothers Allways Got Something Up Their Sleeves Your Parents Can't Do Nothing But They'll Tell Your Brother Or Your Causing In My Case And But Just Try & Talk To Him Cause If He Catches You Doing Anything Wrong Your ****ed. With Me I Just Try To Talk To Him And Calm Him Down If That Don't Work I'll Just Agree With Him And Be Like Yeah Im Sorry It Won't Happen Again And Then I Won't Do It At First Its Really Hard But Then You'll Get Used To It. I Used To Mess Around All The Time But Once My Causing Showed Me His Phyco Side And That **** Me Up If I Carried On ****ing About He'd Batter Me And He's To Strong For Any One To Stop Him. Trust Me He Just Don't Want You To Get Raped Or Get Kiddnapped And Is Trying To Scare You. But Once You Behave He'll Be Allot Nicer To You. Hope It All Gets Better For You <3 xx

[mmresd]

You can play nice and get dirty. In the eyes of your parents and your brother you need to act proper, there is no reason why they need to know that you are going out. However if you live under someone else's roof, then you need to pay attention to what they are telling you.