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toomanytears · May 10, 2011, 06:27 PM

You guys all are totally correct, this is why I love this site, it helps me a lot being I can't go to a shrink anytime soon. Thank you, truly.

Wondergirl · May 10, 2011, 06:36 PM

Originally Posted by toomanytears

You guys all are totally correct, this is why I love this site, it helps me a lot being I can't goto a shrink anytime soon. Thank you, truly.

So now what? Are you going to make US happy?

(Why not go to a counselor or social worker who does counseling? That's what I am. We have sliding scales and will work out the money situation with you. We care about you getting your head on straight and not about your money.)

toomanytears · May 10, 2011, 06:46 PM

Good to know about the sliding scale thing, did not know that. Thank you Wondergirl.

Wondergirl · May 10, 2011, 06:56 PM

Counselors and social workers with master's degrees pay attention to the client. That's how we are trained. The client is our focus. We ask good questions and get the client to think. We don't tell the client what to do. We do talk about the problem(s) and help the client makes goals to improve and change, plus the counselor or social worker is the person the client is accountable to.

mmresd · May 11, 2011, 07:43 AM

Sometimes and abuser has a way of crawling into your skin, and he will also push as much as he can and show his nice face to lure you back to him, however you do not want to do this. As soon as he gets back in a comfortable position things will turn back to normal with him and may even get worse. What is happening here is that your will is low, you need to be strong and erase him out of your life completely, because if you don't I can guarantee he will convince you to try again at some point and it will be a huge mistake on your part to allow this to happen. So cut him off before he can damage you further, which he WILL.

Good Luck,
Javi

toomanytears · May 11, 2011, 11:10 AM

Sometimes.. all it takes is a push at the right time, and you guys did it for me, I finally wrote him my final goodbye, and truly going to stick to it. Of course he wasn't happy with what I had to say when he responded but I really don't care this is my life and my heart I'm talking about. So thank you, truly. Hopefully I won't be venting about this guy anymore on this webpage lol

Wondergirl · May 11, 2011, 11:35 AM

Please keep up to date on your life and all the exciting adventures that are in store for you!

mystific · May 11, 2011, 03:53 PM

Proud of you... fantastic!

I hope your health issues now start getting better and you'll continue at a later date what Wondergirl had suggested about seeing a counsellor.

Take care and keep strong.

-Myst.

toomanytears · May 11, 2011, 05:35 PM

I even called a counselor today to start seeing them after I recover from my operation.

mystific · May 11, 2011, 07:17 PM

One day at a time... :)

toomanytears · Jun 10, 2011, 10:13 AM

Ok I need to ask this question because you guys always have such terrific feedback. The guy whom I'm always writing about, continued to contact me one way or another but I was staying strong and not replying. Then the other day I had experienced something very serious he knew about from prior conversations however, now that the experience happened he has not contacted me at all, I find it weird but nice, why do you think he finally stopped communication? I'm not complaining but I'm not fully understanding as to why. Just strange.

BK201 · Jun 10, 2011, 10:28 AM

Read your previous post and this. Can't guess why he stopped, depends on what happened the other day. Two questions.
1.When you say that you have got over him, having a nice life now surrounded by good friends and family, what good is it going to bring by dragging a burden onto your life? Is there any reason/need for it?
2. I guess you don't want to say what happened the other day, but may be you can give a gist if you would like to, so we can think about why he stopped communication.

toomanytears · Jun 10, 2011, 10:50 AM

As much as that would try and resolve my question I have, I rather not put out the serious thing that happened the other day.

Wondergirl · Jun 10, 2011, 11:16 AM

Originally Posted by toomanytears

As much as that would try and resolve my question I have, I rather not put out the serious thing that happened the other day.

Then we can only guess. (And I respect your need for privacy.)

Since you know everything except what's in his mind, how would you explain it? Maybe he finally is on his way to healing or coping or turning the corner or however you want to phrase it.

mystific · Jun 13, 2011, 04:34 PM

Perhaps his pursuing you without 'issue' was a lot more simple.

Having to deal with something serious just wasn't in his book of 'wanting to deal with'. It mean't having to commit himself to something he really only wanted to prove he could get back.

You have to remember, he didn't really want you back. You left him. Perhaps there was a part of him that wanted you back.. but only as a selfish ego trip that he could. He didn't want to sign up to the rest of the package. He wanted to own you.

I wouldn't dwell on it. Just thank yourself lucky he's finally let it go.

toomanytears · Jun 17, 2011, 08:53 PM

Well I found out as to why he hasn't.. it was a stupid reason. But... I'm happy to say I finally do not miss him in any way at all. And after this operation there is nothing left in me to weigh out the good and bad, he is down right bad, especially for my health, he lost a nice girl :)

Wondergirl · Jun 17, 2011, 09:40 PM

Thank you for returning to let us know. Now it's time for you to find peace and a happy life.

amicon · Jun 18, 2011, 07:33 AM

Best of luck and take care.

toomanytears · Jul 8, 2011, 10:19 PM

Well here I go again with yet another update... I still haven't talked to him, however he did reach out to a mutual friend of mine going on and on about how much he misses me etc.. And pretty much my friend put him into his place that he will never see me again, or talk to me that he has to move on with his life. I feel a lot better that a friend of mine went out of their way to defend me like that.

amicon · Jul 8, 2011, 10:25 PM

Sounds like you've got a great friend!

Continue being good to you and allow the past to remain in the past.