[dstructive]

My girlfriend of 3 yrs and mother of my 19 month old son woke up one day and decided that she didn't want to be in a relationship. She said she'd been in a relationship with one guy or another almost constantly (2 failed marriages then myself) since she was 15 and needed to "find herself". Less than 2 weeks after we split up she was in a relationship with the new guy. Now (only 3mths after our split) she's living with him and 2mths pregnant with his kid. We have to have near daily communication because of our son and each time we talk she chooses to talk about her new guy. Thing is she is constantly comparing him to me and always talking about how he lets her down. The relationship she admits is our relationship with simple role reversal. She has a son from a previous relationship and when she goes to see her son she wants me and our son to join her.
She is 23 and I am 33. In the beginning our age was no problem but at some point it became an issue with her and now its something she talks about in relation to her new guy... "he acts this way and that because hes 23", "hes my age and thats just how guys my age act", etc.
Thing is I love this girl with all my heart and want to know if in a situation like this is it possible that we could get back together? I have been playing it cool, playing the friend role to the degree I am capable of seeing that my heart breaks knowing that she is with this loser. (he has no job, was living with his mom, going out partying all the time)
My family says give up and move on but I am not ready to "move on". I am so broken and confused I can't stomach the idea of being with anyone else. Not to mention it wouldn't be fair to who ever I moved on with since my heart still belongs to my ex. When is it time to give up hope that this new relationship is a rebound?

[tamonze]

I completley sympathise with your position as I was with my partner for 11 years and have a son together and he thinks that we should be OK to be just friends and talk about other women where as I can't even begin to think about anyone else! I wish I could give you all the right answers and tell you what the right thing is to do everyone talks of this no contact but how does that work when kids are involved? It's horrible when the other person seems to be fine with the whole situation when were just acting on a daily basis. If you find the answer then let me know :)

[amicon]

You have to be the best possible parent to your son,that is

Your one priority now.

It seems your ex is a mess-so,someone has to be an adult,

And make sure your child doesn't suffer.

Don't be her doormat-have as little contact as possible with her and o n l y when it concerns your child.

[BMI]

As amicon noted, she is treating you like a doormat. You are, in turn, acting like a doormat.

It no doubt sounds like a difficult situation, friend. However, does the fact she gave you a big line of B.S. when she left bother you? Does the fact she fed you that line and then entered into a relationship with another guy soon after bother you? That she was impregnated by him? That she chose an obviously ill-suited partner with which to leave you and your child for? That she talks about him all the time?

If the answer is yes, than good. All designed for you to realize how you are allowing yourself to be walked over.

You are better than this, man!

[talaniman]

Time to give up hope for her NOW, and be a good dad because your child needs a good adult in her life with her for a mother.