[tj178]

So my girlfriend broke up with me this Monday. There are two reasons we broke up. 1. My trust issues (which I had worked on, but ill explain that in a second) and sometimes conrolling nature and 2. My ex girlfriend from years ago messaged her out of nowhere saying I called my ex beautiful and I loved her, which never happened.
Hate to give my life story and ask for advice over the internet but, I'm honestly out of options. About 3 years ago I lost my virginity to a girl who cheated on me, 3 days after the matter. That plus many numerous backstabbings made it hard for me to fully trust someone.
Me and my girlfriend had broken up once before earlier in the year for the same thing, I promised her I would change, but it wouldn't happen over night and to just have some patience, well she took me back non the less.
The past 3 weeks I had fully faced my demons and basically reinvented my views, I had made a 3 page letter and planned to announce the news with a rose and dinner.(during this reinvention though, I had gotten upset easy and that made her upset) Honestly a huge accomplishment on my part and wanted her to feel proud! The day of the break up I kind of hinted at the note and told her id give it to her tomorrow. That night before I went to work I heard she walked home with some guy that has been hitting on her for a while now. Made me nervous.
So she could tell I got nervous and tried to explain in the 5 minutes before work that I'm sorry I got nervous and ill text you during work. So here I am working and I don't get a text back for 2 hours, only to find out she's talking to her mom (who doesn't exactly like me) and that night I get the break up. Now she wants space and I'm letting her have it (hard as that is) but I'm worried she's going to move on and think life is better without me. We had the perfect relationship except for this issue. We had dated for 8 months ( I've never fallen this hard for a girl, a relationship that isn't even half the time of my longest)
So I've made a plan to write her a note over the span of 7 days, a paragraph or to a day and Then I'm taking the picture she drew of us holding hands with a heart in the middle. Im ripping it in half, and drew my side of the picture (to symbolize I'm willing to put in the same amount of trust, love, effort, etc.) and I glued it together with permanent glue, to symbolize that it won't go back to the old ways. But I'm not sure when to give this to her, is this cheesy or too much? I want her to know I've honestly changed and won't be controlling and can absoulty 100% trust her, but I'm not sure the exact way/when to say it. Any ideas?

[sharper11]

My suggestion is to write your note, and then rip it up and throw it away (not being a smart *** here).

Writing the note will get your feelings on paper, but the note will make you seem desperate and this will play back into your "controlling" issues.

--- Look up, and read the "No Contact" rule. This would help you in this situation.
Your situation is VERY close to my first "real" relationship and how it ended. I did NOT follow the no contact rule and it did two things, 1. made me look like a desperate idiot and 2. Proved to her that I was NOT what she wanted in a guy.

[BMI]

I think most are, or will be upon reading, skeptical when it comes to this 'transformation' of yours.

You read enough stories on here and the same things/patterns seem to emerge from the brokenhearted. Namely, the person who has been dumped realizes (very quickly) what it is they have been doing wrong for X amount of time and (even quicker) is able to rectify this problem. It is a great way to convince yourself that you have a chance to get back with her.

According to your post, this already happened once, rememeber? You 'changed', yet find yourself in the same position only months later.

As interesting as I find the above as applied to those that have been dumped, I think it is irrelevant in this situation. I do not think it has anything to do with your 'controlling nature'. I think she is just looking elsewhere, friend. Plain and simple. Sure she could give you reasons, whether those are the real reasons or just reasons to make you feel less hurt or pacify your reaction, will never be known to you.

This walk home with another guy, the delay in texting, all signs that she is exploring. She does not need to even date this one guy for it not to stand as an indication she is moving on. It does suck, I think everyone on here will greenie that statement; however, searching for answers will lead you down a path, trust me, you do not want to go. It is paved with non-returned texts, calls, etc. News that she is dating this guy or seeing that guy and culminating with you desperately seeking a way back in at the expense of your pride and self-respect.

Unfortunately, the idea about the picture and the symbolism involved, is already proving this to be true.

Move along, easy to say hard to do. I don't think she is trying to hurt you; however, keep trying to win her back and eventually you will be hurt, guaranteed. Except, when you are hurt further, it will not be her to blame but you.

Best of luck.