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    skiphenri's Avatar
    skiphenri Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 11, 2011, 09:03 PM
    Me and my fiancé broke up
    I been with my fiancé for 18 months. First we broke up and 6 months got back together. Then we broke up again and got back together 3 months later. Then I proposed and we were to get married 11-11-11 and told everyone we were engaged. Then we broke up last week. I miss her so much and I only text her twice and never called her yet. I used to visit her job but did not go to her job yet. I am so sad it is hard to eat and sleep. I wonder does she miss me and is she sad? When we broke up we hugged each other and cried. She said we can be friends. I don't know what to do. Since we broke up so many times - does she miss me and thinks about me . What are the chances of getting back together. One problem she has is she is in chronic leg pain everyday and financially burden and she has a 27 dtr who hates me and cannot move out.She says I have nothing to offer her and she wants more. All this after 18 months. Should I just let her go? What should I do
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #2

    May 11, 2011, 09:38 PM

    What's a dtr?

    It sounds like you two have been on one heck of a roller coaster ride. Why do you want this continuous drama in your life?

    It's best to go to no contact, get over the hurt and pain (and you will get over it) and move on.

    She's obviously not ready to be in a relationship, so why put your life on hold waiting for her to get ready?
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #3

    May 12, 2011, 07:35 AM
    Yikes... how old are the two of you?

    This is crazy drama. Like Alty said, you don't need this drama. Get off the roller coaster, man. Yes it is going to hurt, yes it is going to be hard, but you deserve better than this. You both do.
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
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    #4

    May 12, 2011, 09:49 AM
    Why does it matter if you will get together again? Why would you want to be in a relationship that is SO unstable? Get out of there man, it might be hard at first but soon enough you will find someone who can have a healthier relationship with, which shouldn't be that hard considering what you are going through. It seems like she thinks of you as a game and only wants you while she does and when she gets bored she lets you go until she gets bored of being single... and repeat. Stop with this bull and break things off with her, you can do a LOT better than this!

    Good Luck,
    Javi
    skiphenri's Avatar
    skiphenri Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    May 12, 2011, 01:09 PM
    A dtr is daughter and she is 27 (she hates me). I want to continue because I miss her, I feel lonely and I like her companionship. But she says mean things to me and sometimes they hurt. Yes, I know this is for the best but I just cannot stop thinking about her. I want to text her but I don't and want to call her but I don.t Maybe I should so she can block my number and then I can get on with my life. For 18 months it has been up and down but we had good times too. Do you think she misses me? Do you think she thinks of me
    skiphenri's Avatar
    skiphenri Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    May 12, 2011, 01:16 PM
    Comment on mmresd's post
    It matters because I love her. I think it won't be unstable if we really try 100%. Why do we keep getting back together each time? So you think she thinks it is a game and only wants me when she feels like it. She always said that I have nothing to offer and she wants more. She says I can only over is long sex.. I know I need to get out but how? She is driiving me nuts right now. I am confused and lost. I want to forget about her but how?
    skiphenri's Avatar
    skiphenri Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    May 12, 2011, 01:19 PM
    Comment on Altenweg's post
    Dtr is daughter and she is 27 (she hates me). I want to continue because I miss her, I feel lonely and I like her companionship. But she says mean things to me and sometimes they hurt. Yes, I know this is for the best but I just cannot stop thinking about her. I want to text her but I don't and want to call her but I don.t Maybe I should so she can block my number and then I can get on with my life. For 18 months it has been up and down but we had good times too. Do you think she misses me? Do you think she thinks of me
    skiphenri's Avatar
    skiphenri Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    May 12, 2011, 01:25 PM
    Comment on HistorianChick's post
    She is 55 and I am 57 years old. It has been a roller coaster and I am tired, so is she. My problem is letting go. I have a problem lletting go of a relationship. Maybe a block of my number will help me get over this. It is so painful and it hurts. I know it I over but how do I let her go I cry a lot - sounds crazy right.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #9

    May 12, 2011, 04:26 PM

    Truth told, I'm shocked. When I read your post I thought you were a teen, because the kind of drama you're dealing with is usually reserved for teens. In your 50's you really shouldn't have to deal with all of this. I would think that any relationship in your 50's should be much more mature.

    I know it hurts. Lost love always hurts. But it takes two to make a relationship work, and she's not putting in the effort. On again, off again, on again, off again. Aren't you tired of it all? I'm tired of it and I didn't even live through it.

    It won't be easy, but time does heal all wounds. You will get over her, and you will find someone that actually wants to put in the effort to make a relationship work.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #10

    May 13, 2011, 06:49 AM
    Sounds to me that you don't like being alone. She's filling the void of loneliness. It's OK to want companionship, but it's better to find someone who is compatible with you and more importantly, a relationship where both of you are happy. You may think that you can be happy with her, but you're not happy with her now.

    You've already broken up 3 times, if you ever get back together, you better make sure that you fix the things that broke you up the first 3 times, otherwise, things are going to blow up again.

    But I suggest that you continue to meet new people instead. You've already tried 3 times with her. Let's give someone else a chance.

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