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havingfunliving · May 8, 2011, 07:49 PM

I am a widow. I have been told my boyfriend is a gigolo which may not be true. I am independent. He is independent. I am secure and don't have to work. He works hard for his money. I am having trouble wondering if I am being used in this way only. Everything else he knows I won't do unless I WANT to. I'm not sure if I WANT this. We are not "exclusive". It's more like a "settle for" relationship. I've known him for less than a year, started dating only a little over 2 months ago. Whenever it is MY IDEA, I am happy to pay, and I have happily. I don't mind offering to pay, but being asked to pay? I have offered enough that I don't feel he should be asking. Thank you for your interest.

mystific · May 8, 2011, 07:58 PM

Split it all 50/50 whether you like it or not.

No comeback for any time, place or situation then.

And if you don't know if you 'want' this.. then 'don't do it'.

Kind of simple but it works.

Alty · May 8, 2011, 09:59 PM

If he asks you to pay then break the date.

This seems to be a casual relationship. He can pay his own way. Even if it is your idea, he can pay for himself, and you pay for yourself. That way there are no questions.

If he doesn't like it then you'll find out awfully quick what his true intentions are.

Enigma1999 · May 8, 2011, 10:08 PM

Originally Posted by havingfunliving

It's more like a "settle for" relationship.

Why settle?

It sounds like you are selling yourself short...

If you are unsure you even want this, then don't be in this relationship.

That to me, sounds more of an issue then you paying all of the time.

Find out what it is YOU want, then do it.

As for you paying, just simply explain to him that it should be 50/50 until you two are more committed.

Had to spread the rep Alty. Your advice is great... as always!

amicon · May 8, 2011, 11:08 PM

It's fifty-fifty or it's off,I'd say.

You're not in a committed relationship so each person pays their way.

Personally,I wouldn't date the guy,if I felt'settle for'...

talaniman · May 9, 2011, 08:43 AM

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Mystific again.

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Altenweg again.

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Amicon again.

Why settle??

mmresd · May 9, 2011, 12:51 PM

It should be 50/50 in my opinion as well. But I am a little different, for example when I am with my lady I don't let her pay for anything, but I am Peruvian, and that is how my culture has brought me up. I have, on the other hand, allowed one ex girlfriend to pay for EVERYTHING before. That was because I was not working.
So there are different mentalities out there, if this guy doesn't fit well with yours then try to find someone else.

Good Luck,
Javi

hidden123 · May 9, 2011, 01:24 PM

I think he has quiet a nerve to ask for you to pay, especially since you pay quiet a bit already..
Just because you make more money - doesn't mean you always have to pay..

kcomissiong · May 9, 2011, 05:28 PM

Ummm, unless you are in a committed and exclusive relationship, he needs to pay his own way and you can pay yours. Paying is something you do for your BOYFRIEND. My friends, (and that is all he is) pay for themselves.

Fr_Chuck · May 9, 2011, 06:18 PM

I am not sure on this, first is he "paying" more often or more ? Is he merely asking you to pay about 1/2 the time ?

Do you want to go to places more costly than places he would want to go to.

But you said "settle" that is never right, You either want to go out or you don't go with him