[illhearted]

All right so... this is rather embarrassing and humiliating to me but anyway...

My boyfriend and I are both 34, have been living together now for a few months and between the 2 of us have 6 kids, however - only 4 live with us full-time. (My 3 boys and his son - ages 11, 12, 13 and 17)

I work fulltime from home (graphic designer), and he works part time ang goes to school both.

Problem? We have many many moments that we can be intimate, but he would rather play ps2, watch TV or play with his damn Revo. Grr! It's been this way for a while, I want him always quite honestly, whether it's for a quickie, or w-h-a-t-e-v-e-r! You get the point.

I keep myself clean, shaved (sorry for being so blunt) I work out regularly, etc etc. I've hardly changed since the beginning when he basically would wake up and 'hop on' (is a morning man I guess, ha.) All I get is 'later hun' or... I'll even try and shimmy his pants down a bit or unzip his zipper when he's otherwise occupied (which is always it seems) in attempt to just give a bit of oral and either he gets annoyed with me and tells me to 'smarten up' or just sighs loudly and gives me the look to leave him alone. :(

I'm honestly beginning to assume that he just isn't attracted to me and I'm feeling VERY frustrated and have begin crying off/on about it... though I usually do it privately.

I'm highly orgasmic so that clearly isn't an issue - him? That's something else he doesn't do often. :( What's happening? He's lucky if he orgasms once every 3 times we do it and that's only on average once a week. And I can't help but feel he does it to keep me quite if you know what mean.

I do love him and I do believe he loves me but ~``````

I've tried talking to him and he tells me it isn't me, that he *is* interested in sex and is attracted to them that way, but he was just tired, or... always something.

Tonight after laying in bed and seeing him wanting to drift off to sleep (after me wanting to have him all day) really frustrated and hurt me, so here I sit.

What do I do?

Thanks `

J.

[littleone01]

Hi there,
Well I posted a thread earlier on this subject and well although Im seeking answers for the same subject, all I can say is that I Completely UNDERSTAND you!! I know how it feels to want someone and them not want you back.. I know how it feels to want someone and them fall asleep next to you or to tell you their too tired.. I know how it feels when were in bed and we cry about.. not feeling wanted ! I know how it feels to want to pleasure them and look as if they couldn't give a crap...
All I can say is I understand!
If you ever want to talk Im here -xxx-

[JoeCanada76]

First of all I just want to say I personally think that you're a beautiful person on the inside and the outside. Never ever let yourself think that your less attractive in anyway because of the behaviour of another person.

May I ask you a question. The whole time you have been with him, has he always been the same way, or was there a certain point of time when he started acting that way?

As far as working and going to school, can get fairly tiring, but you both need to be open with each other. Have you ever had a heart to heart with him about the way you feel? I am not sure if you have, but if not you should.

At the same time, if he is having problems. Some men who have performance issues finds it very embarrassing, but at the same time with the amount of children I really doubt that is the problem. Being intimate is part of the relationship and if that part is not being nurtured it will cause lots of problems.

Instead of sitting there being upset what you need to do is communicate with him exactly how you feel, why you feel the way you do and how you want him to open up to you and both of you together can come up with something that works for both of you.

At the same time at 34. Men and Women, some have different sex drives. Some can live without it most of the time while others crave it more often. Of course, the only way to deal with this is with communication and compromise.

I am not sure what else to suggest or recommend but I wish the best for you.

Joe

[nquiet123]

Maybe you should bring the fact up to him about seeing a sex therapist.

[nadyatk]

It might well be the stress. Speak to him if you haven't,
It's very likely that he doesn't have any idea about
How this is affecting you.

[mackstar101]

OK straight to the point if he is not having sex with you he is having it with someone else no doubt about it..

[JoeCanada76]

Not necessarly

[l99057j]

mackstar101 is totally off his/her rocker, whether he is/isn't cheating is definitely a valid question at this point but it is far from assured. I left you a private message with some additional information that I hope helps.

[looking1]

He might not be having sex with someone else but-- he probably masturbates which leaves a guy tired and 95% of men masturbate-or- there could be a more serious issue--check into his childhood and ask questions and look him in the eye and pay attention to his responses -but don't ignore it

[Synnen]

This thread is TWO YEARS OLD--almost three!

Please watch dates when responding.

Closed.