[thinktank11]

I have been married since last 6 years.I am 35 and my wife is 33 years old.we have 4 years old son.after giving birth my wife is not that much interested in sex.if happens also OK or not happens also OK for her.she told me twice in a month we will do that to she donot like much penetration.she gets satisfied by licking.but my need is at least twice in a week.then she gives me handjob.I have to satisfy with that.I love my wife allot so I never force her against her wish.my question is is my sex urge is more?how should I reduce or control it?

[southamerica]

What makes intercourse more important to you than the other intimate activities in which you and your wife partake?

Is it about an emotional closeness or is it just the physical aspect?

If you attempt to initiate intercourse, is there foreplay? For example, after performing oral sex on your wife, is she more likely to desire intercourse?

Women aren't just "ready" to have sex immediately. Some women take a lot of preparation, like oral or manual sex, kissing, massages, etc.

You should talk to your wife and ask her what she desires. Maybe there are some fantasies or experiments that you could try together that will add some spark to the bedroom.

Good luck to you!

[thinktank11]

Offcourse we do foreplay and that to quite for long time.but she gets her orgasm heavily with oral than intercourse.before delievery she used to like intercourse also.but you know men feel complete once they penetrates.women are different in that.my question is that is my urge is too much or its natural? I need sex at least twice a week

[Cat1864]

'Normal' is different for each individual. For you, two times a week may be normal where for another person every day or once a every three months may be. That said, just because you want it doesn't mean you have to act on those desires or can't fulfill them in other ways such as masturbation if your partner isn't up to or available for sex.

Do you share affection and intimacy when sex is not expected? By that I mean holding hands, sitting together watching your child play, cuddling, unexpected kisses and caresses, saying 'I love you' just because you feel it, etc.

If your wife's desire and 'likes' have changed a lot since she gave birth, she may want to see her doctor and find out if there is a physical/medical cause that can be adjusted/fixed. If she is having physical problems with intercourse, then she definitely needs to see her doctor. Is she on birth control? If she uses a hormonal form of birth control, she may be dealing with a side-effect of the medication.

Keep in mind that if she is stressed, exhausted, scared (of being interrupted or overheard or of getting pregnant again), feeling pressured (pressure can come from many places-self-induced, partner, society, etc.), or a combination of issues she won't want to have sex.

Talk with her and see if there are things you can help with that will in turn help her relax and be more open to being intimate with you.

Remember that foreplay doesn't start in bed. For a female, 'getting in the mood' takes time and means getting the mind involved before clothes are ever close to coming off.

Good luck.

[talaniman]

Communicate, and compromise. Bet she is on birth control.

There is a difference between want, and need. Sometime circumstance dictate the times you can actually want to make love. But the fun part can be exploring and experimenting with the many ways of making love, not just the physical act, but the emotional, mental, and spiritual.

Talk about this, and be willing to compromise, and agree on a solution that benefits you both. You know in long term relationships, you deal with cycles of droughts and famines, as well as times of great bounty. Some days are better than others, and some years are great, some not so much. I guess the point is how you deal with whatever problem you are confronted with.

Maybe all you need is a better lubricant, or a better understanding of your partner. You have a lifetime so talk and find out why you can't get a bit more of what you WANT.