[tresbelle]

Yesterday, I got offended by some girl who tried to let me down by underestimating me. I didn't care about it because offensive people are all around me, but I got annoyed from my ex best friend. She just was like her, annoying not caring about how (the offensive girl) her words were hurtful. I'm just trying to know, how can I overcome offensive people?

Help me by advising, anything else.
I'll appreciate it.

Thanks you.

[JudyKayTee]

Perhaps if offensive people are all around you it's more your problem and less theirs? Have you tried counselling? Is this a self esteem problem for you?

How about just staying away from people you find offensive?

[tresbelle]

I can't, but I'm trying to avoid them. It doesn't work out

[summer_girl]

Don't give their words so much power in your universe. Ask yourself if what they said is true. Yes? Then work on it. No? Then dismiss it.

[dontknownuthin]

Could be that you're taking things differently than they are intended. People say a lot of cloddish things, usually not meaning how they come off - my mom told me years ago when people said a lot of kind of weird things after a personal tragedy to take people for what they meant to say and the feeling behind it rather than what actually comes out of their mouths.

If people are deliberately putting you down, consider whether it's really a put down or meant to be constructive criticism - if they mean to put you down, they aren't friends. If they are letting you know something to work on about yourself, that is the act of friend and you should consider the advice.

[Alty]

It sounds to me like you're overly sensitive. Either that or the words hurt because you saw some truth in them.

Words can only hurt if you let them. If you're offended because the words ring true, then work on it. If they words aren't true then ignore it and move on.

[adviceishere]

Whay altenweg said is spot on! I was very sensitive when I was younger and people would point things out to me that did actually ring some truth and I would get worse! Then when people began pointing out I was too sensitive was the time I told myself I HAD to address it, its very hard to not be sensitive, and being sensitive isn't just bad thing! It has its good qualities too it means you can me quite sensitive to how other people are feeling about something bad that their going through also and you can relate to people a lot more easier :)

But trying to me less sensitive to comments people make was all about training myself to be like that, when someone said something to me I didn't like I would just pretend I wasn't bothered, laugh it off or just agree or ask them straight out what they meant by a certain comment, and because they weren't sensitive like me they wouldn't get offended when I asked, id get my answer and then forget about it and eventually you just kind of know how to take certain comments. Sorry about the huge answer, it's a bit hard to explain it all in my experience. Hope it helps :rolleyes:

[tresbelle]

She reminded me of my elementary school days, they were horrible and yeah some of her words were true but nothing to do with them now because I totally changed. If you asked why don't I avoid this kind of people, she started it first. She's jealous of me that's why she tried to make her words into me and letting me down. I was so sensitive but not as much as she was rude to me.

[dontknownuthin]

Can you tell us what specifically she did or said? It's hard to advise only on your opinions and not on the basis of the facts of what happened... sometimes when I've asked questions on here other people have pointed out what I did wrong, and while I may not want to hear it, I benefit when I do.

[tresbelle]

She reminded me of my elementary school days, when I was so calm, rarely talking to anyone. I was put in an embarrassing sitiuations from teachers and classmates cause of my calmness. Some kids were underestimating me even teachers were. That girl tried to turn me back to those memories. I can tell you that she's ignorant so I don't blame her. I'm just leaving her with her ignorance

[tresbelle]

I have already worked on it, but some people still don't get that I changed

[J_9]

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

[tresbelle]

Thanks for your answers, I think I have/want to overcome my sensitivity and to let those people say whatever they want about me but never let me down :)

That was helpful, thanks:P

[tresbelle]

I wish that'll work even more. Thank you

[dontknownuthin]

You still didn't really tell us what happened - what were the circumstances, and who said what. Try to tell it factually without putting any slant or opinion on it - we already know you thought it was hurtful and inappropriate. But if we know the exact circumstances we can be more helpful.