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DaniCalifornia · Mar 14, 2011, 08:03 AM

I recently broke up with an abusive boyfriend (See my last question). I'm back with my dad now. More miserable than ever. EVERYTHING is going wrong. I'm going through the heartbreak too, which doesn't help.

Having to put up with things NOBODY should. There's someone in this house that's vile (Long story), like a middle-aged bully. I try to talk to my dad, but he says I'm as bad as her. I do nothing to her. I feel really sick as I type this, and I'm trying to keep calm. He's downstairs texting me that I need to get a job. I said I'm waiting for the call back (A friend reeferred me for a job and the manager is calling me for a trial this week). He replied 'you're supposed to apply for loads of jobs, there's loads online. It's YOUR fault you dropped out of college with no qualifications." - I wasn unable to reply to that. It's making me feel crap as I've hit a wall. I left college and my hometown to LIVE with the abusive ex, with whom I saw a future (and job). Not because I was lazy. I felt it was the right decision.

I'm stuck. I can't get a job. I need to pay my dads bills. I can't. Nobody seems to want me, even though I DO have some qualifications, and a pretty good cv.

Also, I'm just so unhappy here. For years I've tried to talk to my dad but it gets turned around to 'i should be doing whatever I can to help HIM'.

I'm not even sure this is making sense. It's all so complicated. I don't really have other family to go to. I have friends, but they're all coming to ME for help, unable to be the other way round.

FrankenFraud · Mar 17, 2011, 09:18 AM

I am a strong believer of individuality & self preservation. With that said, & going solely on what you've told us & having not heard both sides of the situations, here's my answer. 1) Forget Ms. middle age bully down the hall. Sounds like she can't handle you having a live-in girlfriend & it get's her granny panties in a big knot. Ignore her & if she insists on harassing you, call the cops on her sorry butt. If need be, video tape her harassing you. I have the hick from Hell living next door to me, so if you want we can swap horror stories sometime-LOL. 2) Forget daddy & his bills. Get a job ASAP (I know out in California that's going to be a real ***** to do but.. ). Then Move out ASAP. Sorry if this next part sounds harsh & insensitive but.. Worrying, crying & fretting about your situation accomplishes nothing. Be pro-active. It's also time to see how much your friends are truly your friends. Reach out to some of them for help (you know the song "Lean On me, when you're not strong, & I'll be there to help you carry on.."). Good luck!

One last thing (going again on the premise that all you said is legitimate), don't go back to your abusive ex-boyfriend. That's NOT one step forward, that's two giant steps BACKWARDS.

DaniCalifornia · Mar 17, 2011, 12:10 PM

Thanks for your advice!

I'm actually English, my Username refers to a song by Red Hot Chili Peppers :)

FrankenFraud · Mar 17, 2011, 09:37 PM

@DaniCalifornia
D'OH! My bad. Didn't know you were from Jolly old England. And I not a big follower of The Red Hot Chili Peppers even though I like a few of their songs. I am more of an Alice Cooper & Judas Priest fan myself. But hey no problem glad I could help. Let me/us know how it all works out. Cheers!

DaniCalifornia · Mar 18, 2011, 04:12 AM

Hehe, it's okay. Will do.

+Positive

talaniman · Mar 20, 2011, 03:37 PM

Out of hard times come the greatest success, so hang in there and give this your best shot. You have survived worse, and you will survive this too, so don't let anyone get you down.

DaniCalifornia · Mar 21, 2011, 04:06 AM

Thank you! I'm in such a rut though. My dad says if I don't have a full time job by the 1st April I'm gone. Where am I expected to go! I've applied everywhere, he doesn't seem to understand patience is needed for them all to reply! It's giving me serious stress.

All this, but still the stress of having this lady here! She's middle aged, an being treated like my sister. He said "I've told the same to her!"... When... I'm his only child. I'd have thought I'd be the priority, whether I'm 7, 19 or 52!

I'm also starving. I have no money for food. I'm worried what to do next.