[alanad123]

Threads merged and edited


I've been going out with this boy for a few weeks now and I'm really having a good time with him but he has never put his arm around me or tried to kiss me. He is the shy type and it's so cute because he is so nervous, the thing is I'm a bit shy too any advice would be good because I'm seeing him tomorrow with a big group of friends of mine that he has never met before. It will be awkward but we both want to get through the night so please, please give any advice

[southamerica]

Don't push the physical stuff too quickly. The best thing about brand new relationships is getting to know the other person and becoming friends. Just relax and talk to him the way you would a friend: getting to know his interests and hobbies and letting him know about yours.

After you get to know one another you will feel more comfortable and if there is a physical attraction the hand-holding et al will come naturally. Have fun!

[alanad123]

We have dated before and he tried to kiss me once and I kissed him back but he was really nervous about it and so was I because it was our first time, we've held hands and hugged and I can tell he want to out his arm around me but he's just To shy to do it

[Cat1864]

This may seem harsh, but I hope you will read and think about what I am saying.

What happened to your feelings for this boy: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...im-556355.html.

Or is he the same boy, but you are changing the story to get the answers you want?

If this is a different boy, then you have not been as invested in this relationship as you would want us to believe. I say that because in your other thread (from Feb. 21), you say how much you 'love' this other boy. I think you should hold off on displays of affection until you really know what and who you want.

If this is the same boy, then a lot happened in a week. He broke up with the girl he had been seeing and got back together with you. If he is the same person, you have not been 'going out with him for a few weeks'. You went out with him a few weeks ago. There is a big difference. You both need time to get to know each other before you worry about hand holding and other displays of affection. You only think you know him. It takes time-months-to truly know another person.

Whatever the correct story is, you need to let things progress at their own pace.

[alanad123]

It's not the same boy. The one I'm talking sbout here was my first boyfriend and we started going out a few weeks ago

[Cat1864]

Do you remember writing this in the other thread on February 21, 2011:

I'm 16 and I know what your saying but I don't want anyone else, and I don't want to forget about him. I miss the way he held me in his arms and whispered he loved me in my ears and they way he kissed me when we thought no one was looking. I miss him. But I know what your saying. My best friend went through the same thing for over a year but in the end they are back with eahother.

I know... I don't want to hurt anyone, that's why I'm going to wait to see if they break up but if they don't then I will just have to let go, and he isn't like that, he isn't the type of boy who just wants laid, he is not the type to love and leave, he is reall different

I can't help it I think that I need him, I know I don't but I was really happy, and your right I shouldn't have let him go, I'm regreting it as well, I thought we had to get to know each other a bit more but I've made the biggest mistake of ma life are that's what my head is saying

Please... please give more advice

How do I tell this boy I've been talken about how I feel about him Even though he has a new girlfriend ?

If at the same time you wrote that post you were involved with someone else, then you need to slow down or even stop and really pay attention to what you need.

Please, be certain that you aren't using this boyfriend as a replacement for the one you can't have or a place holder until the other one is available.

[alanad123]

I know but this is when I was in a relationship with the boy I'm with now and I was really confused because the other boy was like flirting but now I know what I really want, I really want the boy I'm with

[nohmar]

Give him time and do not pressure him. It's only been a few weeks so he might not be feeling comfortable around you yet.

[alanad123]

Em... my boyfriend is coming out for the 1st time to meet all my friends, now the group I hang about with is a total of 55 at the most but we are lucky if we get 20 odd out so he is a really shy type and I'm just so worried of what te may think of him and I'm also worried in case they make fun of me for being out with him, please give me advice?.

[adviceishere]

If you really liked this boy these thoughts wouldn't even cross your mind, you sound like you're a little embarrassed to be going out with him if I'm honest...

[MidgetGem]

If you like him you wouldn't worry what your friends say about him or you and him!

[alanad123]

But I do like him, its him I'm really worried about

[adviceishere]

Why exactly are you worried about him? Would your friends make fun of him also?

[MidgetGem]

If you are that worried don't take him out to meet your friends!

[alanad123]

Me and my boyfriend are thinking about taking our relationship to the next level and well... you know, but I'm a bit worried about the pain or if I'm going to bleed, we have talked about the things that may worry me and will it hurt for him as well, people on this may be more expirienced so I was wondering if you could give me some advice or answer my question, how much will it hurt and will I bleed?

[southamerica]

Alana, I doubt you'll get anyone on this board talking to you about sex in an affirmative way-because you're 16 years old.

Every woman's body reacts differently to sex. Some bleed, some don't. Some have already lost their hymen via tampon, etc. Some have a higher pain tolerance and it doesn't hurt as much, others feel pain or slight pain for years after the first time. It's up to the individual.

Are you ready to be a parent? How about your boyfriend? It doesn't matter how careful you are with birth control, if you have sex, you CAN get pregnant.

There are women on this board who have gotten pregnant using three different kinds of birth control. A friend of mine got pregnant after her husband had a vasectomy. It happens and it can happen to you.

That is the most important thing to think about in regards to sex. It's not a game that you play around with. Sex also comes with many emotions and a lot of emotional pain if not done with the right person at the right time.

Also, statistically you will probably not spend the rest of your life with your current boyfriend, and the more partners you have, the more likely you will get an STD. In many instances, those do not go away.

There are many implications to sex, and I want you to make sure you are aware of all of them. I highly recommend you wait to have sex until you're older and in a very committed and long term relationship.

[sharper11]

You are only 16 years old, I strongly suggest waiting until you are mature enough to take responsibility if, and it may happen, you become pregnant.

My sister was in a similar situation, thought "taking it to the next level" was a good thing (at the age of 15). . and well, at 16 she had her first child and has struggled for the last 10 years to get on her feet.

To answer your question: It may hurt, it may not, you may bleed, you may not.

[NukeNC]

I'm not going to get into the whole "are you too young to have sex" issue because that isn't your question.

But, as other people said... it may hurt and it may not. Who knows. I've personally only have had sex with one girl and it didn't hurt her at all the first time. It was a big relief for me, because it really doesn't hurt the guy at all at least not in my experience.

But, if you do plan on having sex... Just keep in mind that it might hurt, but chances are it will get better.

[LeonaDy]

The boy is not hurt at all, but the girl usually is. However, if you are sporty, there is less chance that is will hurt because you may have ripped or damaged your hymen already without knowing (that's what happened to me). Some bleed like crazy, but a very little percentage. Don't worry about that and just try to enjoy the moment even though it almost never feels good the first time. My important advice is to be romantic and not do it as a quickie to get it over with. You should be alone (no stress of someone being around) and take your time. As long as you love him now, it doesn't matter that you're 16. It doesn't matter if you break up with him one day and find another boyfriend, then another and another. As long as the feeling is real at the present moment, everything is fine. Do NOT have sex because he is pressuring you or because you just want to get that virgin tag off your forehead. AND it does matter that you use protection. And never do the stupid mistake of making him wear two condoms to really make sure you don't get pregnant, because that way you have a better chance of being so (because of the friction between the two layers might make them break). Not speaking of personal experience here, just to be clear. It's just that, since you ask these questions, you obviously haven't had thorough sex-education and that's often something misinformed teens do.

Have fun ;)

[JudyKayTee]

No method of birth control is 100% effective. If you are prepared to have a child then you have overcome that hurdle.

You need to better understand your body before you proceed to enter into a sexual relationship.