[maggieinla]

I am dating a man who calls me his girlfriend. However, he says he doesn't love me. Am I his girlfriend?

[ITstudent2006]

Have you asked him what he means when he says this? People define the word love differently and usually being in love is different then loving and lovingis different than caring for or passionately attracted to.

It's probably a preference thing and the only way is to communicate your concerns with him?

Does he treat you well? Like a g/f? Are you happy?

Sometimes the word "love" can cloud the best of relationships!

[redhed35]

How long are you dating?

[sam8988378]

It depends on what you want. Some people date people they like, expecting the relationship to grow into love. Other people date people they like because they enjoy the company, and prefer being half of a couple. They aren't looking for love, but for companionship. Others are closed off from love. They may be the walking wounded, or simply not emotionally available. They may even prefer to date someone with whom they will never fall in love. Can you tell which sounds like the man you are dating? Do you know his relationship history?

If you both want the same things in a relationship then your needs are being met. You could consider yourself his girlfriend. If you are looking for love, or a progression from like to love, there may be a problem. At some point in any relationship, you know whether you will ever love the person you are with. Painful as it might turn out, you owe it to yourself to talk with your man and find out if he is open to love, and if so, is it with you?

I know that it will be heartbreaking if his answer is no. But you only live for so long. If your time is taken up with Mr. Temporary, you may be missing the opportunity to meet Mr. Right. Don't settle. Life is tough, healthy relationships take commitment, commitment needs love.

[maggieinla]

Sam - thanks so much for your thoughtful answer. I do need to have this conversation with him and soon because I do love him and this one-way relationship is hurting me more than it's helping me. Maggieinla