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robertj44 · Feb 14, 2011, 08:42 PM

We had a loving relationship when she was a child.now I can do nothing right. I went to her house to see her she told me I was not welcome. I did nothing wrong, she lied to attain a restraining order.I didn't fight it figuring she would forgive me. What do I do? I can't accuse her of lying, I am emotionally crushed she won't go to counseling with me. We are wasting more than a year of our lives. She is offering me no hope. What can I do?

acker1382 · Feb 14, 2011, 08:57 PM

The best thing I can say for you to do is to give her space... Let her come to you. If you push to hard she may pull further away..

Jake2008 · Feb 14, 2011, 10:16 PM

There must have been a reason, or reasons, for her applying for, and obtaining a restraining order against you.

Can you provide more information?

talaniman · Feb 14, 2011, 10:18 PM

You leave her alone to come to terms with her issues . It may take long time, so pay attention to your own life and the people that do love you.

answerme_tender · Feb 15, 2011, 09:25 AM

Robert,

Can you please advise what she stated to obtain a retraining order against you.

jenniepepsi · Feb 15, 2011, 10:23 AM

I am sorry to say this, but people don't usually put out restraining orders for no reason. I don't want to seem rude but I am almost positive there is more to this story.
I put a restraining order against my own father, and he still to this day says to people that he doesn't know what he did wrong and I must have lied to get a restraining order. The reason I got it was he hit my daughter hard enough to make her bleed and bruise. He shouted and demeaned and treated my daughter like crap. He thinks there is nothing wrong with that because that is how he raised me. And guess what, I hated my father all my life.

There is ALWAYS a reason. Please come back and elaborate

robertj44 · Feb 16, 2011, 10:58 PM

I went to her house a year and a half ago. She drives a car that I maintain for her. No one wa home. Her window by her back door was broken. I went in the house through same window, repaired it. Left her a voice mail telling her what I had done. She was very upset about my crossing a more than physical boundary. It took her several months to forgive me. I left her line realizing she was very upset. We had a good Xmas, followed by several months of what I perceived to be healing. Five months ago I was literally in her neighborhood for business. I tested her that I would stop by is she was available we could go to lunch. I arrived at her house knocked got a text saying she was not home.

I left... then received an angry text saying I was not welcome in her home. A week or so later I was served with the order of protection. She claimed that I attempted to break in, I did not. When I went to the door it appeared that no one was home. Yet eye witnesses affirmed her story of attempting to break in. She also claimed thaty when living with me as a 17 year old that I threatened her with physical violence. We never raised a hand to our children raising them. I know there is a strong reason for her to lie. She is a well adjusted person doing quite well in her life. She's an excellent student, has a boy friend, is loved and respected by her friends and family including me. I am giving her space, of course am following OOP.

Hopefully some day we can both agree Ito family counseling, at this time she won't do the voluntary court appointed variety. I know there is something beneath the surface that is the root cause. I have been introspective and can think of several things going back in our history together. However I have no feedback and can only hope to some day have an opportunity to seek her forgiveness. I will be patient, it is very painful to have lost her. I haven't experienced grief like this since my farher died.