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cm6838 · Jan 16, 2007, 12:30 PM

My friend is going through a nasty divorce. His kids are not wanting to speak to him and his wife is making his life hell. He's fought for 3 years to get his kids and the kids don't want anything to do with him. He is near a mental break down and is just wanting to give up and have everything done with. He lives in Texas and wants to give up his parental rights next time they go to court next Monday. Can he do this? Will he still have to pay child support? Will the courts allow this?

Synnen · Jan 16, 2007, 12:36 PM

Oh, he probably can, but it's silly to do so. Signing away parental rights has nothing to do with signing away parental responsibilities.

He will still have to pay child support. He will just no longer have ANY say in what happens to his children.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 16, 2007, 12:50 PM

Why give up rights, just don't use them, stop calling, stop visiting, court can not make you visit.

Giving up rights has nothing to do with giving up child support, that is a obligation, and only with the other parents permission and then normally only when a step parent is going to adopt.

So tell him to just forget the kids if that is what he wants to do, but he will have to continue to pay the child support

shygrneyzs · Jan 16, 2007, 05:56 PM

Here are sites about terminating parental rights, with the state links. You ask if it can be done. Your friend needs an attorney. This is a grave consideration for your friend, but here are the sites:

Termination of Parental Rights

Checklist: Grounds for Terminating Parental Rights - Findlaw for the Public -

Termination of Parental Rights

ScottGem · Jan 16, 2007, 06:11 PM

Originally Posted by cm6838

He lives in Texas and wants to give up his parental rights next time they go to court next monday. Can he do this? Will he still have to pay child support? Will the courts allow this?

Did you bother reading the many threads on this subject in this forum? You could have saved yourself sometime waiting for someone to post an answer. There are loads of threads that all say the same thing as your first three answers.

mzdebb · Jan 29, 2007, 04:45 PM

Originally Posted by cm6838

My friend is going through a nasty divorce. His kids are not wanting to speak to him and his wife is making his life hell. He's fought for 3 years to get his kids and the kids don't want anything to do with him. He is near a mental break down and is just wanting to give up and have everything done with. He lives in Texas and wants to give up his parental rights next time they go to court next monday. Can he do this? Will he still have to pay child support? Will the courts allow this?

Children are different from pets or spouses. You can't take chidren to a "Child Society" and drop them off because you don't want them any more, and like wise you can't divorce your children. Their blood, bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh!
It sounds backwards to me. Usually it's the parent who has custody of the children that asks the non custodial parent to give up parental rights. This is usually due to neglect or other harmful behavior towards the children, but it has to be pretty extreme. A person can give up their rights without a fight, but one parent has to request it of the other parent.
Two of my bothers gave up their rights to their children, both alcoholics, but there was a step father that wanted to adopt them and assume financial responsibility for the other fathers children. It sounds to me that your friend doesn't want to be a father to the children he brought into this world, and desires to end the responsibility he has towards those children. Maybe he doesn't want to pay child support and is hoping for a way out?

valinors_sorrow · Jan 29, 2007, 05:13 PM

My husband experienced something very similar to what it sounds like you are describing. His first wife divorced him and then proceeded to wage war (yes, that's backwards, I know) so that the relationship between him and his two kids became an enormous source of stress, especially for the kids. Unfortunately courts were just beginning to recognise what serious damage parental alienation does to kids (these days divorce papers have a whole paragraph on it and courts routinely "sentence" divorcing parents to classes on how to effectively share the kids without all the trauma). He had two choices. Make the fight worse in the hopes that someone, a judge could make her stop or let go. For the sake of his kids, he let go.

It was the singlemost heartwrenching and emotionally difficult thing I have ever witnessed a human being do in my entire life and I have seen a lot too. However he insisted, demanded that his parental rights remain (he had joint cusotdy) and paid every bit of the child support and then some to make it clearly on record that THIS alienation was not his doing.

He hasn't seen or heard from his kids since and its been over ten years now.

If your friend is looking for the best thing for his kids, think it through carefully.

yellowdvl2000 · Feb 21, 2007, 09:23 PM

Originally Posted by cm6838

My friend is going through a nasty divorce. His kids are not wanting to speak to him and his wife is making his life hell. He's fought for 3 years to get his kids and the kids don't want anything to do with him. He is near a mental break down and is just wanting to give up and have everything done with. He lives in Texas and wants to give up his parental rights next time they go to court next monday. Can he do this? Will he still have to pay child support? Will the courts allow this?

The courts will not allow it so easily. They will ask him questions and he will need good reasoning why he wants to do that. The reasons he has hate to say is not reason enough. He needs to hang on the kids will come around if they find out what ever mommy is feeding to them is a lie. I don't think any man should give up their rights unless they abandoned the kids not when the mother feeds kids info and brain washes them. My ex is in jail and I am having a hard time when he was out and no visits plus my 6 yr old didn't want to see him either but the probate wouldn't terminate. Now he in jail I will try again.

amyschmitt · Feb 24, 2007, 08:34 PM

My x signed all rights over to me for the fact he is waiting to be sentence to 14 counts of LIFE, I want to change his name because I feel why should he have his dads name when he wasn't really a dad to begin with. Can I change his last name to mine? Or just wait to remarry again? But I was happy when he signed his rights over..
But good luck and fight hard for your kids IF you really want them!@!!

yellowdvl2000 · Feb 24, 2007, 10:04 PM

You can change the child's name to your last name now. The courts would let you. I just called up the probate court here in CT. They said my chances are so much better this time. So I'm hoping so. Seeing my ex is in jail and each day his bond goes up. Makes me mad that they didn't believe me the first time coming out here. That this man was no good. I will not roll over and play dead so easily this time. I wish you the best of luck and I will keep this site up to date on my progress. I will say this because of this man my 6 yr old was in therapy at the age 4 1/2 because of violent outburts every time his name was mentioned or he called her. This time they will end his rights and I will not give up till they do.

yellowdvl2000 · Feb 24, 2007, 10:12 PM

He will not have to pay child support from the day his rights are terminated but he will have to pay the amount he owed before all rights are terminated. Some men think it will clear their bill. It won't, yes it will stop child support after that but you still owe from when you had the rights to your child. I personally think men who don't pay or give up their rights are scum. Sometimes though it is better for the child. Like in my case my daughter has a good step dad who she thinks now is her dad and this other man is just todd. I wish your friend luck.

ScottGem · Feb 25, 2007, 07:01 AM

Originally Posted by amyschmitt

My x signed all rights over to me for the fact he is waiting to be sentence to 14 counts of LIFE, I want to change his name because I feel why should he have his dads name when he wasnt really a dad to begin with. Can I change his last name to mine?? Or just wait to remarry again?? But I was happy when he signed his rights over..

A person can use any name they want as long as there isn't an intent to defraud. But if you want to formally have his name changed you have to submit a petition to a court, probably Family Court if he's a minor.

P.S. In the future, its not a good idea to piggyback your own question on someone else's thread. That can often confuse the issue about who is responding to what.

yellowdvl2000 · Feb 25, 2007, 06:19 PM

Well I guess it all depends on what state you live in. Seeing I have been through this and in the state of Connecticut it does away with child support from the day you rights are terminated if my husband is to adopt her. Which he will be adopting her. You do owe the money you had to pay before if you had any back child support. Which I see out there a lot of men who do that terminate their rights. Some people just need to read up on what their state laws are about the child support, if they will still have to pay afterwards. The only way the person would not be responsible for the child is if someone else adopted the child. Feel free to ask any questions.
I can also ask my daughters lawyer any questions you might have. Good luck to all.

s_cianci · Feb 25, 2007, 07:10 PM

The answer to all of your questions is 'no.' HE can choose not to exercise his parental rights but his rights and accompanying responsibilities will remain until the children are at least 18 and possibly longer, depending on the laws of the state and the specific circumstances.

ScottGem · Feb 25, 2007, 07:31 PM

Originally Posted by yellowdvl2000

Well i guess it all depends on what state you live in. it does away with child support from the day you rights are terminated if my husband is to adopt her.

That changes things. Relinquishing rights does NOT relinquish responsibility. However, having someone adopt the child does supercede the bio parent's rights. Generally courts don't allow relinquishing unless there is an adoption. But relinquishing rights ALONE does not stop child support. That's true in every state as far as I know.