Check out some similar questions!

statesgirl · Feb 2, 2011, 02:45 AM

Hey everyone!

I've been best friends with this guy for the last 5years. A few months ago he admitted that he had a thing for me when we first met but I ended up dating someone else. That relationship lasted 4years, we broke up a year ago. When my ex and I broke up my best friend had just recently starting dating a girl. So we just always were great friends, ( nothing had been mentioned about dating or anything because we were both taken).

Well since about November he started having big problems with his girlfriend , fighting etc. We started talking about relationships and it got to the point where he admitted he's always had a thing for me and such. I had no idea. I started to realize I was liking him too but he has a girlfriend so I did nothing. Well about a month ago we ended up having sex, after we knew it was wrong and just remained friends. Until about a few days ago him & his girlfriend are currently on a "break"... we ended up having sex again. He said he's going to tell her goodbye forever tomorrow. I'm really falling for him, I told him I like him but this is wrong and I don't want to get hurt and he told me he understands and still wants to remain friends no matter what happens.

I've never been in a situation like this. I don't know if I should be worried because he did cheat that's a huge red flag. But also I know he's a really great guy. I have no idea what to do but I do know I'm falling for him hard...

tickle · Feb 2, 2011, 04:32 AM

He can't be too much of a 'really great guy' if he had sex with you and still carried on with his g/f.

It is very difficult to 'remain friends' with someone you are having sex with periodically. There is no gray area, either black or white.

So, given that he is still with his g/f and he has sex with you again, what do you tell him ? You tell him, it is either all or nothing, that's what you do. But then you have to face up to the fact that he twotimed on her.

Tick

KimberCareBear · Feb 2, 2011, 03:30 PM

You have known this person for quite a long time, so think about how he treats his past girlfriends. Can you expect him to treat you the same, or better?

AFTER he breaks up with his girlfriend, not before, and you guys begin talking about dating, I would ask him a lot of important questions. Like, have you ever cheated on someone before then? Tell him that you're afraid that if he's willing to cheat with you, that he could possibly cheat on you. I would suck to be him and hear that, but it's the honest truth and if a relationship would work out between you two, all of your worries would need to be confronted honestly and fully first. Don't take a lame answer and be satisfied, keep asking questions and talking about it until you're satisfied.

Best of luck.

talaniman · Feb 2, 2011, 03:33 PM

I don't get it. You know what you were doing was wrong and crossing the lines of good behavior, but now you are actually thinking that there is a relationship that can be built on lying, cheating, lust, and what was a friendship?

Its very simple, leave him alone until you figure out what the right thing to do for yourself is. And get some better friends along the way.

statesgirl · Feb 3, 2011, 01:32 AM

We talk everyday though it would be hard to just drop him. We have a strong friendship then all this happened recently. I do have feelings for him but I don't know what to do now.

All his exgirlfriends have always taken advantage of him. He would treat them so well and they would be so rude with him. But he was the kind of guy who's "too nice" and would keep giving them chances. He did cheat on one girlfriend he had 6years ag

talaniman · Feb 3, 2011, 11:03 AM

Doing the right thing is hard, I know that, and all your excuses not to are just that, excuses.

statesgirl · Feb 3, 2011, 11:59 AM

Not to what?

Never mind sorry. But the right thing is to just leave him alone?

answerme_tender · Feb 3, 2011, 12:29 PM

You need to back off from this relationship. He is another girls boyfriend!! Listen, he may be great as a friend, but obviously he cannot be trusted as a boyfriend!! Why put yourself in same position as his girlfriend is right now. Do you honestly think he wouldn't cheat on you! If you do then you need to read some of the stickys on this site were a lot of other girls thought their guy wouldn't cheat on them!!

No one is worth losing yourself respect.

talaniman · Feb 3, 2011, 01:25 PM

Originally Posted by statesgirl

Not to what?

nevermind sorry. But the right thing is to just leave him alone?

Exactly!!

statesgirl · Feb 4, 2011, 01:55 PM

They officially broke up on Wednesday. Now my emotions are all over the place because he's always been so nice to me and we have a relationship on a bunch of different levels, not just sexually. It would hurt to just drop him as a friend because I do care a lot about him. Everyday for the last year he always texts me everyday I never am the first one unless I really need to talk to him.

I for am not expecting a relationship right now because I know he's probably all messed up from the breakup nor do I even know if I can trust him. I would definitely need to talk with him further if he ever wanted to have a relationship. Which I think he might because he's told me he's always wanted me as his girlfriend since the day we met but I always had a boyfriend.

Ugh I don't know.

talaniman · Feb 4, 2011, 02:55 PM

Hate to be blunt, but your friend is a lying cheater and you're his best assistant. No wonder your friends. If you allow this to continue under the name of relationship, you won't be friends. Not only do you have a faulty view of friends, but who to choose for a relationship. And do you really think you are the only friend he has? Get real.

A guy who can cheat on his girl, can cheat on his friend.