[jeje409]

For the past FIVE years I have been with same person.THREE of those 5 yrs we have been married.Spouse have a kid with ADHD and Oppositial Defiant Disorder(ODD) ans still wets the bed.Kid is 15 now.I have learned everything I can about ADHD and what I am supposed to do and how to get him to do things.I speak with all his doctors on a regular basis... Probs I'm having are him just not wanting to listen to ANYTHING I say.Could be something simple as take the trash out.He just sits there and stares at the walls in his room.We keep asking him if he is on drugs... says he's not but I used to be his age too once.If his father tells him to do something,BAM he does it... but won't for me... In the mornings I call him for an whole HOUR just to wake up for school.But if his father calls him he wakes up just like that... I tell him to clean his room... he doesn't... he gets on phone and calls his biological mother and complains to her how I am being mean to him.Im NOT trying to be anyone's mom... all I'm trying to do is help my hubby's kid learn things he needs to know when an yound adult.Doctor have given us strick orders for bedtime for him... I follow them however my hubby do not... so kid thinks he can do whatever because daddy doesn't keep up with stuff.At night the kid plunders through kitchen drawers getting knives.I have to sleep with weapon next to me and I shouldn't have to do that.The kid everyday always does something to make his father and I argue... biological mother had custody taken away due to neglect.I have gotten msg's on my FB account from here saying that I am a b*tch and I'm NOT his mom and don't make him call you mommy... NO ONE ever told kid to say that,he just did one day... He knows who takes care of him.

This is my FIRST MARRIAGE ever and I can't enjoy it because all we do is argue about his son.Also 4 years ago out of the blue the kid called me mommy... still does to this day.I don't know what else to do other than leave here and move back in with my mother.I really do love my hubby and I want us to be happy... but its like I can't enjoy my own life because of his son.Its like the kid don't have a brain... he have NO comomon sense what-so-ever... I can't say the things he have done because minors will be reading this too... he is VERY nasty!. Oh yeah... the kid is OBSESSED with family guy... we have forbidden him to watch it but he does anyway... I do NOT allow him to use any computers here because there was incident before with him on game rape sites... soon as I turn my back he goes and does what he knows he not supposed to do.

Should I continue on with this marriage or should I have filed papers long ago? HELP PLEASE! :(:confused::(:confused:

[Just Dahlia]

Besides the fact that you keep referring to your husbands child as... 'The Kid' I feel bad for you.
You need to seek some kind of help like counseling for yourself and your family.
You didn't mention how your husband is dealing with all this. Does he say anything to his son when he disobeys?
Are you the stay at home Mom?

[talaniman]

You need a break, and some help with parental controls over and the computer and TV, like some passwords. You better tell your husband you just cannot do this by yourself, and he needs to lay down the law, to his kid and his ex. And enforce them.

If he can't do that, what chance do you have?

[jeje409]

Hubby will never do counseling... tried that before and he cuzzed out the therapist

[Just Dahlia]

Sounds like a real winner:rolleyes:sorry

[jeje409]

Comment on talaniman's post

I try to I really do... my hubby don't back me up though.did the password thing on computer... hubby leaves comp unattended & kid thinks we not paying attention... but jeje is ALWAYS paying attention.I honestly think the kid just want it to him & his dad

Comment on Just Dahlia's post

Tell me about it... its like he doesn't want to take care of his son... this what I'm here for... and he doesn't care what his son do but I do care

Oh yeah... on the wknds when kid away at biological mother's house... my hubby is very sweet nice and kind to me but when kid is here hubby mean and yells at me

Hubby doesn't care what kid does... I do know he's tired of me getting on his kid all the time about doing this or doing that.and when son disobeys... if he hears or sees it he will yell at him... if not then I tell him then eventually I get yelled at

And they wonder why I am attracted to women!

[the1unv]

I have been with my wife for almost 12 years now. I have 2 ex-wives as well. My wife had 3 boys when we started dateing. The youngest was 4 months and is now 12 years old. My (step) sons are now 12, 14 and 17. When I moved in with my wife my oldest son, 14 at the time, 26 now, it was trying. I noticed my son did not get along with my new wife and it caused problems. I would be upset with my wife simplt because she didn't get along with my son, when he was gone things were fine. I had to get over that, I had to be the MAN and except the fact they didn't get along. I had to stop holding my wife responsible for their not getting along. Its not that she was trying to be HIS Mom, the fact is she WAS the Mom in our home. My son had to learn that, once he did (wasnt till he left home) things got better. My wife's oldest son wet his bed until he was 15 as well. It used to pi$$ me off something terrible. We had him to doctors, counsilors and had him on several medications. Nothing we did worked. Finally one day I just gave up. I said to him and my wife "I dont care" do as you please. My wife and I just backed off and let him do as he pleased within reason. The first few weeks he did nothing but stay up late, sit in front of the TV and eat. We stopped hollering about the "wet" underwear on his bedroom floor. The wife stopped stripping his bed and doing his laundry every morning. We had to keep his bedroom door closed because it smelled so bad. One day I woke up about 4am, heard noises down stairs. Went down to find the boy in the laundry room washing bedding, didn't say anything, just went back to bed. 8:oo that morning his room was clean, the bed made and he even folded other laundry. Today he no longer wets the bed, his room is clean every day, he helps around the house and is on the A honor roll at school. I believe we had to let him grow up on his own. In 2 years we have gone from butting heads daily to spending hours together every day. We have become very close and I love the boy dearly. If someone would have told me things would turn out this way a couple years ago I would have told them they were crazy. If you love your husband and truly love his son, Give it some time and let the boy grow up on his own. I discovered that once I got of his a$$ about everything he did all the changing on his own. Its worth a try. Good Luck.

[Fr_Chuck]

Well several things, I can tell by your tone you are either tired out by the child, or have moved to dislike or worst.

I guess the question is , you knew the child was there, and you knew or should have known what to expect. These are choices to make prior to marriage.

And of course the issue is why did husband curse out a therapist, not all are good others, are better.
But if hubby not willing to get help to improve things you have a losing battle

[JudyKayTee]

and they wonder y i am attracted to women!!

How much does your attraction to women impact your marriage? (Am I the only one who noticed this?)